Fallen
by Curiositykils
Summary: AU “Yes Black. It’s my number one dream to fawn over a boy whose ego is so large he’s clearly compensating for other areas.”...I saved them all. They believed I betrayed them. They abandoned me. I left. Now they want me back? They can go to Hell. Complete
1. Prologue

You know I always hear people talking about how quickly the years seem to go by in London. Personally, I haven't had the pleasure of that experience; the last couple of years of my life seem to have dragged on, moving so incredibly slowly that there's no chance to get away from the hurt and pain that creeps up at the most unsuspecting moments.

Time heals everything right?

What people don't seem to get is that time takes bloody ages to move forward, and in that time you don't heal. Or at least I haven't. Should I have? I mean it's been two years since I last saw them…saw him. And yet every time I think of them I get this pang in my chest, which requires a huge gulping breath to get rid off. It's annoying and in today's case, embarrassing as hell.

I was on the bus and I all I saw was this guy with _his_ grey eyes. Cue pang in chest and huge deep breath. Only said huge deep breath was obstructed by the chewing gum in my mouth and the sucking in of air was promptly followed by a huge coughing fit to dislodge said chewing gum from my larynx.

Oh well, at least it got my brain off thinking about his eyes…for a whole short 15 minutes. But here I am now, burrowing my cold face in my woolly scarf whilst my curly hair whips my cheeks, thinking about him again.  
_  
Sirius bloody Black_.

I can't believe it's only been two years. Two teeny tiny years since my whole life changed.

Actually I guess that would be incorrect; I mean people usually use the term my whole life changed in reference to a certain small period of time that had a big impact in their lives. My life may have completely changed two years ago but the build up to it happening lasted a whole seven months. Seven months of all things hateful. Hateful looks and hateful words, by the people I loved most in the world, the people I considered my second family.

Well I have definitely learnt my lesson. Now I only have one family, my real family and that's enough for me. Belle, Marie and me. That's all I need, I tell myself silently as I open the front door.

"Hey I'm home." I yell.

"We're in the kitchen." Belle yells unnecessarily.

I can already hear Marie's excited cries about the fact that dinner tonight consists of chips drowned in ketchup. As soon as I enter she launches off the chair she was colouring in and throws herself at me. I feel my mouth stretch into a smile, my dry lips cracking painfully. It's impossible not to smile when looking into Marie's bright green eyes.

"Hey honey. How was school today?"

"It was really good. Mrs Macaroni gave me a gold star and we got to play stuck in the mud at lunchtime." She replies enthusiastically.

"And you?" I ask walking over to Belle, who promptly slams the potato peeler down.

"It totally sucked…Julie's being a complete and utter bit-"

"Belle." I interrupt before she goes into a massive rant in front of Marie's innocent ears. She rolls her eyes in response. I feel Marie wriggling in my arms, eager to get back to her coloring. I put her down and sigh.

"So I'm guessing you and Julie haven't quite made up then? How long is this going to go in for? You've been best friends for bloody years. You shouldn't let a stupid boy come in between that!"

"Try telling Julie that." She sulks.

"You're both as stubborn as each other." I remark. Belle doesn't find it necessary to reply and we move onto a safer conversational topic.

"So how was work? Get any manky patients in today?"

Did I mention I was a nurse at Woodside Hospital? After Mum and Dad died in the car crash a few months after I moved back home, I had to get a job and quick. Belle was only fourteen and Marie two. Legally I became their guardian but at only 18, the local authorities weren't too confident in my abilities to look after two minors.

I used some of my inheritance in paying off the small debts they had left behind and most of the rest in enrolling in the local university to study Nursing. I'd always wanted to be a Healer but being shunned by most of the Order and therefore some of the most influential people in the Magical Community ended that idea pretty quickly. Muggle medicine was also out of the question. The course was too long and I had to show Child Services that I would be able to get a job quickly and support my family.

One and a half years later I finally finished my degree and seeing how I'd volunteered during my summer's home, I got a job as a nurse in A&E at the hospital within two weeks. Local authorities had darkened my doorsteps for the last time 3 months ago deeming me fit to take care of Belle and Marie.

"Nope, it was pretty normal stuff." I reply as I heat up the oil in the pan.

I glance warily at the clock. There'd been strikes across London transport today and it had taken a ridiculous amount of time to get home. I had to be at Sazio's by 7:30 to cover dinner service. Being a nurse, rewarding as it was emotionally if you can call it that, was lacking a little in the part where I was rewarded financially. I had to take a second job in the evenings at the posh Italian place on the high street to cover the necessities. It was tiring but it made sure that Belle and Marie got everything they wanted so I was happy to do it. I was usually home at around 10:30 so it wasn't too bad. An extra £100 quid a week helped soften the blow when it came to paying the gas bill.

It was so weird I thought to myself. Four years ago I was a normal witch attending Hogwarts and then I was told that I was an Elemental. _Me_, a muggleborn witch had powers that were written about in Magical fairy tales. Fire, Ice, Earth and Wind. My first thought when Dumbledore had told was no way, the guy had finally gone crazy.

I mean, I think I would have noticed if a bunch of flames shot out of my hands before.

Once it had sunk in a little, my second thought was how cool this was. I could easily freak out anyone who pissed me off from now on. No-one would mess with me when I could set their head on fire and burn their hair off.

My third thought was oh bloody crap after Dumbledore told me that He Who Must Not Be Named a.k.a. Moldy Fart was looking for me. He wanted me to join him- seems I would be useful in the whole taking over the world thing regardless of being a Mudblood. 

Hypocritical twit.

* * *

_Author's Note: Hi, this is my first ever story so I'd love to know what you think about it. I wrote the entire thing eons ago and I finally got the courage to post it so please keep flames to a minimum if they're necessary! Until next time, Curiositykils_


	2. The one with the visitor

No matter how much you prepare for the following morning, you're still always late. Or is it just our household that's like that?

"Belle! Hurry up."

It doesn't matter how much you organise...

"Belle! Get out of the house!"

Packed lunches…Ironed clothes…doesn't make a damn difference.

"BELLE!"

"What? Jeez, we're not even that late! God!" Belle yells as she walks down the stairs.

"It's 08:15, of course we're bloody late!"

She rolls her eyes in response and sits on the stairs to put her shoes on.

"I'm hungry. What's for breakfast?"

"A cereal bar, it's already in your bag. Let's go." Grabbing Marie's hand I walk out of the house.

"A cereal bar! Do you know how much crap they put in that stuff? I don't know how you can eat it. It's all going on your thighs you know…"

"Yes, thank you for that observation. It's always good to know how fat you look before you start your day." I reply dryly.

She rolls her eyes again. God sometimes, I wish I could fix her eyes in one position.

"You're not fat, you lucky cow."

"There's an apple in there too. Eat that and get out the house!" looking at my watch I swear I nearly faint a little. "It's 08:21!"

"See…NOW were late." Belle says as she sets the alarm. I'm already half way down the road.

Belle and I have worked out a schedule based around both our timetables (her school one and my work one) on who picks Marie up from school, but we both go and drop her off in the morning seeing how I have to walk past their school to get to work anyway.

God, its bloody freezing. I hate walking in the cold. Note to self, save up for the saviour that is a car. Sometimes life would be so much more easier if I still used apparition to get everywhere.

Life would be so much easier if I still used magic.

Oh God…It's happening…I'm thinking about the past again. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Why isn't it stopping! Oh hell…

_20:12. _

_I'm lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I turn my head to the right and stare at the clock. _

_20:13._

_My stomach grumbles annoyingly and I change position slightly in hope to ease the ache. Maybe they've finished now. I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. I glance at the clock again._

_20:14_

_Maybe I should wait a little bit more. My fingers tap on the bed next to me. My eyes are locked on the ceiling again. Oh look, a spider. I trail its path with my eyes and watch as it scuttles through a crack in the corner. Taking another deep breath I turn towards the clock again._

_20:16_

_My stomach rumbles again. I whack it to stop the noise. Maybe it's time now. Or maybe I should wait a little longer. They sometimes like to hang around after dinner and hell; I really didn't want to walk into that. Maybe I'll wait a little while longer. _

_I listen to someone walk up the stairs and shuffle past my room. Does that mean dinner's over? I mean, they used to all finish and leave the dining room at the same time. There's another pain in my stomach and I roll over onto my side and pull my knees up. _

_20:19_

_One more minute. Wait one more minute._

_20:20. _

_Longest minute of my life. I get off the bed and walk to the door, hesitating at the handle. _

_"Open it you coward." I hiss quietly to myself. _

_Taking another deep breath I slowly open the door and sigh in relief at finding no-one on the landing. I walk down the stairs and open the door to the kitchen. The loud chatter dies instantly and every head turns my way. _

_Great, silencing charms. _

_Merlin forbid I should try to eavesdrop on Order business through the thick oak door. I'm a member of the Order too. Don't I deserve to be here? Looking at the accusing stares being directed at me, I think not. _

_I quickly shut the door again and run up the stairs to my room. I close my bedroom door and lean against it. Maybe I should have waited a little longer. My stomach rumbles again and I hate that my eyes have started to tear up. _

_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. _

_You don't need them. Breathe in and out. In and out. _

_I sit on the edge of the bed. My stomach gurgles again. Note to self; tomorrow, try an hour after 20:20 to get dinner. _

A loud horn startles me and I look around wildly before realising that we've reached Belle and Marie's school. I bend down so Marie can hug me tightly before she goes running off inside the playground to find her friends. I turn towards Belle and see her having an animated chat with Julie.

"Teenagers." I think.

Oh wait…I am one.

"You better be going or you'll both be late."

"Yes mother." They both reply simultaneously. This is their way of telling me when I'm becoming too smothering. I seem to be hearing it more and more these days. I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that.

"Love you!" I shout as they walk into the school.

"Love you back!" Belle shouts in return.

I still get a warm feeling in my chest when I hear that.

"You better be going before you're late." she yells back over the ringing of the school bell.

"Yes mother!" I smile.

She sticks her tongue out at me.

ooo

As I walk into the hospital I face a packed A&E waiting room. Just the way I like it. The more people there are the less time my traitorous mind has to think about things it shouldn't be thinking about.

"Hello love." says a voice behind me.

I smell Tom before I get a chance to see where he's sitting. Tom's homeless and some of the other nurses and doctors seem to have a problem treating him so whenever he comes in, I'm usually asked to deal with him. Stuck-up snobs. So much for this being a National Health Service.

"Hey Tom." I try to reply whilst using as little air as possible. As much as I adore Tom, there's no denying he's a little iffy when it comes to personal hygiene. I guess that's understandable, I mean there can't be that many wash opportunities when you're living on the streets. Unfortunately, it sometimes leaves him smelling a little whiffy.

"I'll see you in a bit okay." I tell him.

"Alright love." He smiles back, giving me a toothy smile that regrettably is more gummy than toothy.

ooo

Work that day goes by really quickly and before I know it, it's the end of my shift and I'm back outside Marie's school waiting for her to emerge out of the horde of students that exploded out of all possible doors as the end of day bell rang.

I see her running towards me, her Clifford backpack dragging along on the floor.

"Hi angel. How was school?" She gives me a tight hug before excitedly informing me about every minute of the 6 and a half hours she was there on the walk home.

When we get home, Marie gives me her puppy-dog eyes until I let her go out and play in the garden till dinner's ready. Belle gets home an hour later just as I'm setting the table. She walks over to Marie who's standing on the doormat with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"What are you hiding behind your back munchkin?" she asks and peers over Marie's small form to take a look at what's behind her back.

My brow crinkles in confusion as I turn towards them.

"You take left and I'll take right." I reply as we both move to corner her. It was a well used plan. Belle makes to spring on her and I wait to catch her as she runs towards me. Only, this time Belle is backing away from Marie instead of chasing her.

"What's wrong? Belle…What is it?"

"MOUSIE!" Marie shouts. My head whips around just in time to see a small mouse enclosed in her equally small hands.

Oh crap.

"Marie Lily Corisi. You give me that mouse right now or no bedtime story and song for the next three days." I threaten. I see her eyes widen in fear before she unclasps her hands, letting the mouse drop to the floor.

Oh double crap.

"Argggggghhhhh. There's a mouse. Get it. Get it. Get it." Belle shrieks as she runs to stand on the sofa.

I fall on my hands and knees and search wildly for it. Marie, who's been standing wide-eyed in the corner staring at Belle, sees me on the floor and proceeds to jump onto my back.

"HORSEY!" she yells.

Let me tell you, I have never been gladder that Marie is one light four year old regardless of the amount she can pack away at dinner. I clasp the hands that are attached around my neck and swing her onto the table.

"Stay here and don't move a muscle…Simon says." She instantly grows still.

"Belle, stop freaking out and help me." I say to her, she's still jumping up and down on the sofa shrieking.

"Belle." I say louder.

"There is no way in hell that I am touching that…that thing." She exclaims pointing wildly. I look in the direction that her fingers are pointing at and make a grab for the mouse but it's too quick and runs under the sofa Belle's currently on, causing her to leap up and join Marie on the table.

After a few minutes have passed my frustration is seriously growing. Every time I corner it somewhere, it jumps over me and hides somewhere else.

"That is it." I exclaim standing up from the floor and blowing my fringe out of my eyes.

"You two wait here." I run upstairs to my bedroom and reach for the highest shelf in my closet, my hands searching for my old wand. I find it and pull it down, causing quite a bit of dust to fall on top of me in the process.

Once I've run back into the living room Belle sees what I was carrying and her eyes widen.

"Close your eyes Marie." I say looking at her. She keeps them open and forces herself not to blink.

"You didn't say Simon says." She said quickly.

"Simon says close your eyes." Immediately they shut.

I look at Belle and she moves a hand to cover Marie's eyes in case she decides to peek. Did I mention that Belle knows I was once a witch? Anyway, I say the spell causing the mouse to fly out from underneath the sofa and into my hands where I quickly drop it out of the window and watch it scurry away.

Thank God.

I nod at Belle and she removes her hands, stepping down from the table. I run back upstairs and chuck my wand back into my closet. Hopefully it will be a few more years before I need to use it again. As I walk back downstairs I see Marie still standing on the table with her eyes screwed tightly shut.

"Simon says open your eyes." She opens them a fraction to see whether it's actually me giving the order or Belle. Her eyes fly open fully when she sees me standing in front of her.

I pick her off the table by the waist and she circles her arms around my neck. It's a while before I realise that she's crying.

"Hey…what's wrong Angel? Why are you crying?"

"I brought the mouse inside and Belle said that you were mad at me."

"Belle!" I look at her annoyed.

"What?" she exclaims. "Do you want another mouse in the house tomorrow?"

I roll my eyes at her before turning back to Marie.

"I'm not mad at you angel. Just don't do it again okay." I feel her nod against my neck.

"What's for dinner?" Belle asks, her eyes not leaving the T.V.

"Pasta, now get of your bum and help me set the table otherwise I'm going to be late."

She groans but does as I ask. It's kind of a routine with us. I ask her for help, she groans but gets up and does it anyway. After our parents died, Belle knew I'd been forced to drop out of doing Medicine at university and go into Nursing at the local college. Not to mention working in the evenings.

She didn't think it was fair on me and so one day came home and dropped the bomb that she was going to quit school and find a job. I refused point blank, telling her that there was no way in hell I was going to let her do that. There was also the small matter of her being 14 at the time, and therefore dropping out of school wasn't an option without me landing in jail.

So, we made a deal. She would carry on at school and in exchange she would help me whenever I needed it, no questions asked. We'd both stuck to our end of the bargain for the last two years, not faltering once, although the occasional groan did escape her lips. I could live with that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offers as we walk into the kitchen.

I look at her and grimace, shaking my head slightly.

"If I'm not mistaken, that was the first time in over two years you've used it." She pushes.

"There's nothing to talk about." I reply. She carries on staring at me but doesn't say anything else.

"You're the best sister in the world do you know that?" She says. I smile at her.

"I think that prize would go to you Belle." I reply.

"I'm being serious." Her voice changes slightly. I look at her questioningly.

"If it wasn't for you, Marie and I wouldn't be here right now. We would probably be holed up in different foster homes somewhere. We wouldn't have the life we have now."

"I wouldn't have let that happen Belle. To you or Marie. You're the only family I have left. I wouldn't have let you go. Not now, not ever." I whisper into her hair as she hugs me tightly.

"I know." She whispers back. We stand in silence for a few seconds before pulling back.

"I'll try and be back a little early okay. Make sure Marie eats properly on the table. God, hopefully it'll stop pouring down by then." I say looking wistfully out of the window.

I definitely jinxed it. What's that weird animal rain saying? It's raining cats and dogs? Now I admit, I don't fully understand the meaning of the saying but I think it would be fitting in this situation. God tonight cannot get any worse. My umbrella proves to be bloody useless on the walk home from work and I'm completely soaked as I walk through the front door to find Belle standing there looking at me weirdly.

"What? What's wrong? Is Marie okay?" I ask. Marie hates thunderstorms.

"No…she's fine…she didn't even wake up. There's someone here to see you."

I definitely, definitely jinxed it.

* * *

_Author's Note: Hey you guys! So this is the second chapter! What did you think? Feedback would be great as it's my first story. Let me know if your're confused about anything and I'll try to explain without giving the whole plot away! _


	3. The one with the key

Who the hell would be here so late? My breath hitches in my throat as I walk into the living room.

"Headmaster." I gasp in surprise.

My first thought is how funny he looks sitting in our living room wearing dark blue robes with what look to be silver spiders on them. Fortunately, the sane part of my brain kicks into gear and my second thought is what the hell he's doing here.

"What are you doing here?" Did I just say that out loud? Oops. I mentally scold myself. "Sorry…It's just a shock to see you. It's been a long time. Is everything okay?" He looks exactly the same after all this time.

"I am deeply sorry to have to come and visit so late at night but it was important that I came." He glances at Belle, unsure of whether he can speak openly in front of her.

"I'll just go and check on Marie. Shout if you need me." She says to me and with one last confused glance at Dumbledore she leaves the room. And by leaves I'm pretty sure she's got her ear pressed up against the side of the door right now.

"Please sit." I say as I realise that we're both still standing. "I'm sorry for the mess, cleaning was never my strong point." I smile nervously, moving some of Marie's toys and Belle's Latin textbook off the sofa.

"I remember." He chuckles, his blue eyes twinkling. I sit down looking at him expectantly.

"Right…I will cut straight to the chase. I know that you probably wish that I wasn't here but there is a matter of great importance that I need to discuss with you."

"Okay." I reply feeling uneasy.

"I have recently received intelligence that Voldemort's followers have been more active than usual."

Huh?

"I don't understand."

He carries on speaking. "I with a few others feel that Voldemort may be gaining power again."

Huh?

"What? But…that's not possible! I killed him two years ago. How can he still be gaining power? I watched him die in front of me. You must be mistaken."

He shakes his head sadly. "That's how I reacted when I first heard the news…two days ago a muggle family in Salisbury were murdered and the Dark Mark was set over their house."

_What?_

Okay did the last three years of my life actually occur or is this all some strange other worldly dimension? Because I'm pretty sure that I kicked Voldemort's arse back to fiery depths of hell two years, nearly losing my life in the process.

"But he's dead. You were there! You saw it with your own eyes. He's dead already." I find myself pleading.

Professor Dumbledore shakes his head.

"How?" I whisper.

"I believe that before the final battle took place Voldemort split his body into seven Horcruxes." He carries on talking through my sharp intake of breath.

I remember finding a book about Dark Arts at the Headquarters library's the last time I was there. Only a small paragraph was dedicated to the subject but it did happen to mention that you needed to kill someone in order to create a Horcrux. A life for a life.

"I believe I've found five of them and I trust that he himself is one."

He stops talking and just stares at me. Am I supposed to say something here?

Fortunately he takes pity on me and carries on.

I am still researching as to what the last Horcrux could be but so far I have had no luck. Two weeks ago there was a mass breakout of prisoners from Azkaban. Last week I had no choice. It gave me great displeasure to re-instate the Order of the Phoenix." He looks at me pointedly.

As soon as the words Order of the Phoenix come out of his mouth a cold feeling spreads through my body, settling in my stomach. All of a sudden I know what he's here for.

"No." I say shakily.

Professor Dumbledore doesn't say a word in return. He sits there as if he's waiting for the situation to sink in and for me to get over the shock and give him a clear, thought about answer.

Well screw that.

"NO." I say strongly. "I can't believe what you're asking me? I'm sorry that he's back but No. He ruined my life two years ago! I got rid of him once and what the hell did I get in return." I scoff.

"The very people that I nearly died for, hating me, looking at me like I was some kind of blood-traitor and you want me to go back to them again. Hell no. They can go and screw themselves, because there is no way in hell I am going back into the world they kicked me out of."

"They needed…" His voice trails off.

"They needed what? Time? You told me that once before remember. Right after I'd just woken up in St Mungo's after killing him. Do you even remember that day?" My mind flashes back and my heart clenches painfully.

_"Headmaster." I exclaim as soon as my eyes focus. I see a look of relief pass over his face as he sees that I am, to an extent alright, but this look is then replaced with a grave expression. My forehead creases in confusion as he sits down beside my bed. _

_"So serious." I comment, trying to lift the heavy mood that has been placed upon the room. He looks at me intently. _

_"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks in a soft voice. I look into his old wise eyes and know instantly what he's talking about. I look down at my hands, not saying anything._

_"I could have done something. I could have told them to stop."_

_"Headmaster, you wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop the things they did or said. You told them the truth and they didn't believe you, it wouldn't have mattered how many times you told them."_

_"I realised something was wrong…you grew so thin. Whenever I came around to see you, you would hardly talk or say anything. Your eyes had lost their fire." _

_I look up, startled that he had realised that._

_"I assumed it was the stress taking its toll on you. I never for a second thought that it was because of how you were being treated by them." His voice grows steadily angrier._

_"Headmaster…please I just want to forget it. It's over now…I'm sure they've realised and are sorry for what they did and said. It's in the past. I can't blame them for the way they behaved. As far as they knew I betrayed them all in the most horrible way possible and left. I was stupid to think that they would welcome me back with open arms after a quick word from you." I hate that he's feeling bad for the actions of other people._

_"They still had no right treating you the way they did." _

_"No one can change the past. They'll have to live with their actions for the rest of their lives…" He says nothing, just keeps looking at me, his expression unchanging. _

_"Where are they anyway? I expect some grovelling before I forgive them." I laugh weakly trying to lift the tension again. He doesn't reply for a while. _

_"People often find it hard to apologize and admit they were wrong." He says uncertainly. _

_My eyebrows knit together in confusion._

_"I don't understand." I say slowly. "Surely they must be sorry." Dumbledore slowly lifts his head and his eyes stare right into mine and I realise what he means._

_"Oh Merlin." I whisper, tears springing to my eyes. _

_"They're not sorry are they? They still think I'm a traitor and a piece of scum. I just killed Voldemort right in front of their faces. I thought I died doing it. I saved all of them and yet they still hate me. How is that possible?" I exclaim, tears running down my face. _

_"Give them time." He says quietly. _

_"Time…Time…I've given them the last seven months of my life. How much more time can I give them? I was ready to forgive them for the way they treated me, for what they said to me, for the hurt they made me feel. Now it turns out they don't even want my forgiveness...Well they can forget it. I thought I could forgive them but I can't…not for this. They were my family…my friends…without them I don't have anyone left in the magical world…They were right. I don't belong here." My voice trails off as I try to control the sobs that are threatening to come out of my throat. _

_As soon as the last four words leave my mouth, Dumbledore's head flies up and his eyes bore into my wet ones. _

_"You belong in the magical world just as much as they do. If it wasn't for you they wouldn't be standing here right now. They owe you their lives and more." _

_I look back down at my hands. _

_"As for not having anyone left…you still have me and you always will do." I try to smile but find that I can't. _

_He takes my hands in his soft wrinkly ones and I lift my head up to face him._

_"I can't stay here anymore…It hurts too much. I want to go somewhere and leave all the pain behind. I want to go back to a world were people love me back." He looks at me and I know he understands._

_"There's nothing I can say to change your mind." He asks. I shake my head slowly in answer. _

_"I want a fresh start…I need a fresh start." I say simply. He nods his head._

_"I'll get your things prepared." He stands up to leave, whilst I wipe my wet face with my sleeve._

_"There may be people who don't feel gratitude for what you've done for them but I always will. You are one of the brightest strongest witches I have ever had the pleasure of teaching…I realise that because of a certain few you've changed but I hope you find your confidence again. If we are ever to meet again, whether it be in this life or the next, I except to find that fire back into your eyes." _

_I nod my head. "Goodbye." I whisper._

_"Goodbye my child." He replies, knowing that this will probably be the last time we will be seeing each other. _

_The next morning I wake to find my suitcase and all my belongings shrunk and placed in a small pile in the corner of the hospital room. When I leave St Mungo's later that day I feel horribly sad as I realise how different my life will be from now on. _

"I can't do it all again. Especially if he's stronger this time. I will not leave my sisters alone in this world. They're my family now. The only one's I care about anymore. They need me and I'm not going to risk leaving them by risking my life for a bunch of people that I've saved before and that probably don't want my help anyway." I stand up quickly and he stands up with me.

"I respect your decision." He says. I nod my head to show I've heard him.

I'm still a little angry at what he's asking of me so it's best if I don't speak.

"I was sorry to hear about your parents, but from what I see of Belle, you've done an amazing job in raising them. I'm also glad you fulfilled your promise of getting that fire back into your eyes."

I smile and my anger diminishes. "Thank You. I'm glad I got it back to."

As we walk to the front door I'm unsure as to what to say. Professor Dumbledore however, simply walks through the door and down the front steps.

"Professor." I call out. He turns around a smile on his face. "I am sorry. Please try to understand…Good luck." I finish lamely. His smile broadens.

"I understand perfectly child. You have different responsibilities now. I wouldn't expect you to give them up for anything. And thank you for the luck." He closes the gate behind him and walks down the street humming to himself.

Belle walks down the steps as I close the front door.

"Is everything okay?" she asks quietly.

"It's fine." I reply. She looks at me before answering.

"Liar. Angel just fell from heaven."

I look at her for a lingering moment, remembering the saying that our Mum would say before walking into the kitchen and switching on the kettle. She looks at me expectantly and I wave a hand to the table.

"So I guess it's time to fill in the blanks of the conversation that you didn't hear because the door was too thick?"

She doesn't even have the grace to blush in shame!

As I fill her in, her face grows steadily paler and once I've finished, we sit there in silence drinking our hot chocolate.

"What did you say?" she asks.

"What do you think I said? You and Marie are the most important things in my life. I gave up that world and they have no one to blame but themselves. They can't expect me to come running back when they click their fingers after two years of not even speaking to me and months before that treating me like shit. I'm not going to risk the life we have here for anything. I don't belong in that world and they'll just have to learn to fight their own battles alone, just like we had to fight ours alone."

"Do you ever think about them?" Belle asks. I'd told her everything that had happened when I first came back home. To say she was angry was putting it very mildly.

"No." I reply instantly.

"Liar." She says for the second time that night before taking a long sip of hot chocolate.

"I think about them sometimes. I remember how we used to be at Hogwarts. So close with each other. But then I remember the months I had to spend at the headquarters. They were some of the worst in my life."

"Do you still care about them?"

"I don't know. I can't explain it. In a way I know I always will. They were my best friends. He was the love of my life. I lived with them, spent every second of every day with them. But then they hurt me and made me feel like I didn't deserve to live or love anymore. Seven years of friendship slowly vanished in the space of seven unbearable months. I'll never be able to forgive them for what they did and how they treated me but that doesn't mean I wish death upon them. Whenever I think about them all I feel is numbness inside. At least that way they can't love me or hurt me."

"You've given up." She states simply.

"Given up in what?"

"Love…"

I look at her before looking out of the window.

"You haven't gone on a date in the last two years and don't say you haven't had offers because I know you've had loads. Don't you miss it? Being loved by someone?" she continues.

"I am loved by someone. Actually I'm loved by two people who mean the world to me. That's all I need."

"Marie and I don't count. It's different being loved by someone else."

"Love isn't for everyone." I answer simply, hoping to end the conversation.

"Mum used to tell me that until she found Dad she would walk around with a part of her missing. She would say that's there's only one person who has the key to your heart and once you find that person they would open your heart using the key and restart it so you could carry on living."

I smile wistfully remembering Mum telling me that and me lapping it up like it was the gospel. "Mum was a romantic."

"You don't believe her?"

"No, I do but she was lucky. Not every person has such great stories to tell."

"I can tell you what happened to your heart. Someone had the key, opened it, restarted it, changed their mind halfway through, left it half wound up and chucked away the key." She says viscously.

"It isn't like that. Things happen in real life. Things happened…"

"Yeah like the fact you risked your life protecting his arse along with a bunch of other people while they couldn't have cared about you any less."

"You can't force people to love you back."

"No…but it's called decency to at least thank them for what they've done and admit that they were wrong and apologise. They're all cowards. You're better off without them."

"I know." I glance at the clock and get a shock that it's 11:45. How long have we been talking?

"Don't worry…I'm going." Belle says as she stands up.

I get up myself, grab our mugs and place them in the sink. She stops at the door and turns around.

"Don't give up." I turn to face her. "Someone out there has your key; the other jackass just stole it from its rightful owner."

I get that warm glow in my stomach and move to hug her tightly.

"I'll try." I whisper into her hair. "Love you."

"Love you back." She whispers, before making her way up the stairs.

I linger in the doorway thinking about everything that has happened tonight. I don't think I've ever felt so tired and worn out in a long time. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my eyes start to droop and bittersweet dreams take over reality.

_I feel someone come up behind me and press their body up against my back. I tense for a millisecond before a familiar smell of cologne washes over me and I inhale deeply. Arms wrap around my waist and a mouth starts nuzzling my neck. _

_It tickles and I squirm._

_"Sirius." I giggle. I try to move away but don't get very far; his arms are still tightly wrapped around my waist. I manage to twist around so I'm facing him and place my arms around his neck. _

_He leans forward and kisses my lips._

_"Hmmm." he murmurs in appreciation. He moves forward as if to kiss me again and I lean back._

_"Okay firstly, I am completely freezing and as much as I love kissing your girly soft lips..."_

_"Hey, my lips are not girly. They are masculine and sexy." He interrupts._

_"Forgive me. As I was saying, I'm freezing and as much as I love kissing your sexy and masculine lips, I really need a butterbeer before my toes fall off. Secondly you're 20 minutes late." _

_"I'm sorry, James and Lily got into another fight and he was kind of depressed." He skims his lips down my neck again before leaning back and giving me his puppy dog eyes. "Forgive me."_

_I fake deliberation even though I know resistance is futile. "I'll forgive you once I have a hot butterbeer in my hand." _

_He smiles before adopting a mock hurt look. _

_"Does that mean that you don't want the anniversary present I spent hours looking for?" _

_He got me a present? I mean, I kind of knew he would but the fact that he did warms me up just as well as any butterbeer could. _

_"A present could speed the process of forgiveness up." I reply. He smiles before stepping back and removing a small jewellery box from his coat pocket before handing it to me._

_I fiddle with the fancy bow and look up at him. He raises his eyebrows, encouraging me to open it. Inside is a silver necklace with a small silver key on the end._

_I find myself doing a girly gasp before looking back up at him._

_"Do you like it?" he asks. "I mean I've never bought an anniversary present before. I didn't really know what to get. James suggested jewellery and then I remembered the story you told me about your Mum and the key and I got this. It's returnable if you don't like it. I know you don't wear a lot of jewellery and I know it's kind of mushy but girls like that kind of thing right?" He looks at me unsure._

_My face splits into the widest grin that my cold cheeks hurt._

_I lean up and press my lips against his strongly. _

_"It's perfect...__You're perfect." I kiss him again._

I wake up suddenly and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. I look at the clock and it shows its 1:47 in the morning. I feel my eyes begin to tear up and I close them tightly.

I wonder where that necklace is now. Last time I saw it was when I was placing it in a white envelope addressed to Sirius. It was right before I left to join Voldemort.

What does one do with an anniversary present you gave to an ex-girlfriend who betrays you and everyone you've ever loved?

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank You for reading! Until next time Curiositykils_


	4. The one with more unwanted visitors

The next day is even more hectic than usual. I knew it before I went to sleep last night. No lunches were made…..no clothes ironed. I was just so tired that the only thing on my mind was to fall into bed. Leave it to the morning I'd thought.

Never again.

I grab Marie's school uniform and help her get dressed before banging violently on Belle's door.

"I'm up already for God's sake." Is the reply that emits from the other side. I roll my eyes before rushing downstairs to start getting breakfast and Marie's lunch ready. Thank God for the genius invention that is chocolate spread. Quick and easy.

Ten minutes later Belle walks into the kitchen her uniform all dishevelled. She grabs Marie's lunch and stuffs it into the Clifford the dog bag before grabbing a banana for herself and we're out the house. I lock the door before jogging to catch up with Belle who's practically pulling Marie down the road with her.

"Belle, slow down. Marie can't keep up."

"We're going to be late." She states.

"You don't say." I say sarcastically. Whoever said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit can back off. It's the only form of wit I have. Just because you can't use it to be funny don't degrade us genius souls who can.

"Beeeelllllle." whines Marie. Belle stops suddenly, looking at me.

"This isn't working." She says. "Give me your bag."

I thrust it to her. She lets go off Marie's hand who quickly takes mine in replacement.

"Carry her." Belle says. I bend down and Marie wraps her arms around my neck.

"O.K. now can we please move a little faster. I have German first, which means Mr Schwarzen, which means detention if I'm late, which means I won't be able to pick up this one after school." Suffice to say we run the rest of the way. I met Belle's Mr Schwarzen at parent's evening a few months ago and he's one scary freak.

We reach the school just in time to hear the bell ring. Marie and Belle rush inside.

"Love you." I shout.

"Love you back." They say before disappearing into the school.

If I thought that the morning had gone bad I should have prepared myself for that evening. Belle and Marie come back from school, one completely hyper (Marie) and one completely annoyed (Belle).

"What's up?" I ask Belle as Marie stops the air flow to my body with her hug.

"I got a damn detention tomorrow for being late." I roll my eyes.

"Why are you rolling your eyes at me?" she exclaims. The doorbell rings and Marie stops running around the table screaming for a second before starting again. I'm getting dizzy just by watching her. The doorbell rings again.

"Choice one, get the doorbell. Choice two, get Marie." I tell Belle. She instantly stalks off towards the door.

"And stop being so moody. I'll tell Mr Schwarzen we had an accident at home or something." I say running after Marie, trying to catch her. This proves extremely difficult as she's small enough to run under the table. Me…not so much.

"Marie Lily Corisi. Come here right now!" I say silently cursing the person who's given her sweets.

"Nooooooo." She yells running out of the room and into Belle. Belle scoops her up, and turns back to the door. I see her scowl as she turns back around. Thinking it's someone trying to sell something I move towards the door. Marie runs past me and up the stairs as I do so.

"Look I don't want to buy anything, give money to anything, or save money in anything." I say as I move closer. I open the door wider so I can see who it is for myself.

My heart stops beating, my air stops flowing and I die. Well not literally but that's what it feels like.

Standing there are three people I never thought I would ever see again in my life. James, with his messy black hair and hazel eyes. Remus with his sandy brown hair and auburn eyes and finally Sirius. Oh god Sirius. He hasn't changed since the last time I saw him. He still has the same black hair that falls over his grey eyes, begging to be pushed away from his handsome face.

None of them have changed.

My body goes numb until a flow of anger flies through me, awakening me. I scowl at them.

"Yes can I help you?" I ask them icily. They don't reply so I turn to Belle.

"Belle, if you could do the honours please." I say in a light voice. She glances at me before turning to face the three people standing in front of her. She gives them a look which radiates hate and disgust.

"Gladly."

We both move backwards and she slams the door in their faces. We stand there waiting to see if they will knock again. They do.

Taking a deep breath I re-open the door. Their expressions are unreadable.

"I'm sorry. Did you not get the message?" I ask coldly.

"It's not so nice being on the receiving end is it?" Belle says, before shutting the door in their face again.

They knock again but this time I don't open it. We move back into the kitchen ignoring them.

What were they doing here?

What do they want?

Why now? After two years and nearly a year before that hating me. Why are they standing at my front door? I can't handle this.

Marie comes downstairs running quickly into the kitchen with a terrified look on her face.

"There are bad men at the door." she says running towards me with her arms outstretched. I hug her to me tightly drawing strength from her little body.

"Please just leave." I whisper to myself.

I don't have anything to say to them. Belle watches us before moving back towards the door, her face furious. She has always been overly protective of both Marie and I, even though she's only the middle sister. I try to keep Marie from crying whilst keeping an ear open to hear what Belle's going to throw at them. I hear the door swing open.

"What are you still doing here?"

Wow, she's literally screeching. Her voice has reached a whole new decibel level.

"I think my sister and I have made it quite clear that we don't want you here. Kindly stop BANGING on our door as you are scaring our little sister. Leave now and stay the HELL away otherwise next time I will call the police on your pathetic arses and have you done for harassment. I have friends in high places and I will personally make sure that you (she jabs a finger at Sirius) and your friends (she throws a disgusted look in their direction which could probably be seen a mile off) will be seeing the inside of a prison cell for a very long time. GOT IT!" she shuts the door in their faces before they can answer her and seething with anger she walks back into the kitchen.

"Well if that didn't do the trick I'm not sure what will….Friends in high places?" I say lightly.

"Julie's Dad is a lawyer." She says.

She looks at me for a second before we both burst out laughing. Marie joins in after a while even though she doesn't have a clue what we're laughing about.

"We don't have anything for dinner. I'll pop out and grab a few things from the corner shop before it closes. You guys can start peeling the few potatoes that we have left. How do chips sound?" I wait for what I've just said to register in Marie's mind.

"Oh God." Belle breathes but her voice is drowned out by Marie's.

"Chips!" she screams. "Did you hear we're going to have chips Belle? I like chips. Do you like chips? I like chips. Come on Belle! Let's start making chips" she says. I laugh at her excited voice and at Belle's expression.

"Please come back quickly, otherwise I think I might murder myself…or worse…I'll murder her." I smile as I put my coat on and check my pockets for money. Realising I have more than enough I open the door cautiously. The coast is clear.

"Love you." I shout.

"Love you back." Come two voices, one much more loudly than another. I chuckle as I close the door and walk down the steps. I step out of the front gate before making my way down to the shops. I buy what I need before making my way quickly back home, the cold wind stinging my eyes. There's no one on the pavement in front of me so I close my eyes to stop them watering. As luck would have it I bump into someone.

"Sorry." I mumble before manoeuvring around them.

It's only when they call out my name that I realise who it is. I freeze in my tracks and spin around. The three of them are standing there hands in their pockets looking at me. They take a step forward and I turn around before walking quickly down the road.

Oh God, please no. I can't. Please make them go away.

They carry on calling my name and I carry on ignoring. Damn it, they aren't disappearing. And that's when I feel an arm grab mine. I know instantly who it is. I spin around pulling my arm out of his grip.

"Don't you dare touch me." I spit out venomously. I'm quite proud of the hatred in my voice. You can't even tell my heart's twitching painfully.

Sirius looks shocked for a millisecond before rearranging his features so his face is masked. I give him my best hate filled look before I carry on walking.

I hear a step of footsteps behind me and as I walk up the stairs to the front door I realise that I've left the keys inside.

Great. Just great.

I push the doorbell as someone stops behind me. I turn around to see Remus and James standing there.

"What?" I ask coldly.

"We need to talk to you." says James.

I cut him off.

"And I have nothing to say to you. Any of you. Leave me alone." I reply as the door opens. Belle stands there her face getting angrier by the second as she realises who's standing there with me. She picks up the phone from the handset next to the door and gives it to me. I drop the shopping on the floor.

"Would you like to do the honours?" she asks me lightly repeating what we had done not an hour before.

"Gladly." I say taking the phone from her. I turn it around so the numbers are facing them.

"You have three seconds before I dial three numbers. One….Two…." They stand there looking at me determinedly. "….Three." I say. "Time's up." I turn the phone to face me and pressed 998.

I'm not going to the bother the police really. Can you imagine? Um yes, police please…there's two wizards standing on my doorstep and they won't go away….I'd be chucked in the nuthouse.

I look at them my jaw clenched.

"Police please." I say into the phone and their faces pale.

"Alright we're going." They hold their hands up in front of them. I press the end call button.

"And don't think about darkening our doorstep with your pathetic faces again." Belle says.

"That goes for our lives too. Stay the bloody hell away from us." I add. I shut the door and lean against it breathing heavily.

Why does it seem like everything I've worked so hard for over the last two years is crumbling around me? I know them. They're the freaking Marauders for God's sake. They get whatever they want, which means they aren't going to leave me alone without a decent fight.

Well screw them. If what I'm fighting for is a chance to keep the current life I have with Belle and Marie then I'm ready to fight.

But before that I run upstairs to my bedroom. Belle watches me go with a sad look on her face but says nothing. She grabs the bag of groceries from the floor and walks back into the kitchen.

I close the door to my bedroom, sit in the middle of the bed and cry.

Please, leave me alone….

_I'm sitting under the beech tree by the lake. The grounds are filled with students enjoying the warm sunshine. As I settle myself more comfortably against the trunk of the tree and get my Arithmancy book out I see Sirius and the rest of the Marauders walk over to another tree not too far away from mine._

_Ugh, I could really do with studying for this Arithmancy test without distractions. I pray fervently that he won't see me._

_No such damn luck._

_"Hey Corisi!" he shouts out to me. I glance up and give him a tight smile hoping it'll put an end to the conversation. I'm just about to get into the book when I hear his voice again._

_"Why don't you come and join us. Better then sitting all by your lonesome."_

_What's wrong with sitting all by my lonesome? _

_I like it. _

_Katie's disappeared somewhere and I would be worried but I noticed Mark's missing too. A thousand galleons if you can guess which broom cupboard they're currently occupying. Personally, I'm hazarding a guess towards the one next to the portrait of the old man signing a parchment in candlelight on the third floor. They seem to be quite partial to that one. Something to do with there being a ledge which serves a useful purpose?_

_I rarely get time to sit by myself. It's peaceful. Or rather it was. _

_"Better then sitting with you and the twittering fan-girls." I shout back. _

_Said fan-girls that are surrounding the Marauders and especially him look at me sharply. _

_"Oh, come on. You know you want to be one." He says gesturing to them._

_I put my finger in the book and close it, turning to face him "Yes Black. It's my number one dream to fawn over a boy whose ego is so large he's clearly compensating for other areas." _

_He smiles at me and the fan-girls (after a few seconds) gasp in indignation. Not the brightest of the bunch are they?_

_"I'd be happy to show you precisely how little compensation is needed Corisi." He leers at me. I look at him in disgust._

_The fan-girls look at me evilly. Why thank you Black, for alienating me further with the girls of this school._

_I sigh in frustration. Clearly I'm not going to get any work done out here. I grab by bag and stand up._

_"I would Black, but I fear it would be a waste of my time looking at something that is evidently so unimpressive." I see his smile before I turn and make my way back up to the tower. Does nothing I say offend that boy?_

_"I'll get you one day Corisi. You'll give into my charm." He shouts so loudly that I cringe in embarrassment as people turn to look at me._

_Get me? I'm not a bloody fish. _

_If only I knew that just two weeks after this conversation I would stumble into a bloody large net belonging to one Sirius Black_

* * *

_Author's Note! An update in like two days! I think that's a record for me! Thank You so much for reading and reviewing!_


	5. The one with the cooties

Another week passes by and I come home late one day from work. It was Belle's turn to pick Marie up so I thought a little bit of overtime wouldn't hurt. I open the door and shout out bracing myself for Marie to come and barrel into me any second now.

Only she doesn't.

"Belle, Marie!" I shout again. I glance at my watch which shows it's 5:30. They should have been home ages ago. I move into the kitchen but it's just how we left it this morning. I look on the fridge and the table but there's no note.

Okay now I'm starting to get worried.

I move back into the hallway and grab my phone from my bag. It's switched off complying with hospital policy and when I turn it on there's 2 missed calls from Belle. I listen to her message and my heart leaps into my throat.

"Hey, its me. Listen, um, I got a detention today for after school so I won't be able to pick up Marie so you'll have to do it. I'll see you when I get home okay."

Pick up Marie? PICK UP MARIE! I haven't picked up any Marie's on my travels today. I'm in the process of putting my coat back on when the front door opens and Belle and Marie walk through.

Oh thank God. At least she's picked up a Marie on her travels.

"I just got the message." I tell Belle. I turn to Marie.

"I'm so sorry Angel. I can't believe you were waiting by yourself for over an hour."

"Don't worry. She wasn't." says Belle. I turn to look at her confused.

"She waited for ten minutes before coming to find me; Mrs Anderson took a shine to her and let her sit with us in the detention hall."

"Thank God." I breathe as I hug her. I put her down and she immediately runs into the living room.

"Why did you get a detention?" I ask Belle. I notice that she isn't looking me in the eye.

"Belle" I repeat in a sterner voice.

"It was nothing." She mumbles. "What's for dinner?"

"Don't try changing the subject. I want an answer now"

"For God's sake FINE. It was because of fighting." I look at her in surprise. Belle acts all tough on the outside, but she would never hurt someone like that.

"Why were you fighting?" I ask.

"It was Julie." My eyes widen even more.

"She was making digs at all of us saying horrible things. I couldn't stand it. It was fine when it had been just about me but then she started talking about you and Marie saying how you were a rubbish role model because you didn't have a proper job and you'd dropped out of school. I don't have a clue what she was going on about. She knows you're a nurse and you dropped college to look after us. She knows and yet she was saying all those things. I just got angry and snapped. She has no right talking about any of us like that. As if her family's all perfect, with a permanently plastered Mum and a Dad who doesn't even care about her."

I look at her and pull her closer to me wrapping my arms around her.

"Look…Julie had no right saying those things but it doesn't mean you had the right to start a fight with her. People are always going to call you names and make fun of you. The only thing you can do is ignore them and carry on as life. _You_ know that what they're calling you isn't true so it doesn't matter. You know the truth. You know what's happened in the past, and that's all you need. Promise me you won't get into anther fight again."

"I promise." She says.

"Good, because all those universities aren't going to let a hooligan on their campus." I say lightening the mood. She smiles at me.

"I know." She says. "I'll control my temper from now on."

"Good."

"What's for dinner?" she asks again.

"I was thinking either tacos or fajitas. Which one do you want?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"Tacos." She replies smiling widely.

"Fajitas it is then."

"HEY. I said tacos."

"Calm down angel, I know what you said, don't worry I won't deprive you. Tacos it is."

We both get to work cooking. Marie comes halfway down the stairs when she smells food. She's like a dog, standing there sniffing the air. Have I mentioned how I'm constantly amazed at how light and slim she is? She's only four and I swear she eats more than Belle and I combined.

"How was your day Marie." I ask putting the taco shells in the oven.

"It was okay. I got another gold star because I know my 2 times table before anybody else." She says proudly.

"Well done honey. That's great."

"Yeah…and then I ate ice-cream and then came home."

I turn to Belle. "You took her out for ice-cream…She's just getting over her cold." I look at Belle but she's looking at Marie weirdly.

"I didn't give her ice-cream." She says softly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I didn't give her ice-cream." She says again louder looking at me. We both turn our heads to look at Marie playing on the table. We move towards her.

"Marie…when did you eat ice-cream?" I ask her. She looks at me.

"After school." She replies.

"With who Angel? Who gave you the ice-cream?" Belle asks her. Marie looks at me.

"Your friends silly." She giggles.

I lift her into my arms.

"And what did my friends look like." I ask cautiously.

"They were three…ew….boys." she says.

"I gave myself the cootie injection for life and ate the ice-cream." She starts squirming in my arms wanting to be put down.

"But what did the boys look like." Belle asks more urgently.

"I can't remember. One had yellow hair like mine and the other two had your coloured hair….One's was really messy." She adds. "I told him that that he should come to you and you could make it look pretty." She says smiling.

"Listen to me, baby. If you see those boys again don't talk to them again okay." I tell her.

"Remember what Belle and I told you about talking to strangers. Those are bad boys and if you see them again at school I want you to go back inside and wait for Belle or me there, understand." She bites her lip and nods.

"What if they have ice-cream?" she asks.

"Even if they have ice-cream or sweets or chocolate. You don't take it from them and you go wait inside the school."

"Okay." She agrees. I put her on the floor and she looks up at Belle and I while we glance at each other.

How dare they! I can't believe them. How can they do this? What purpose do they have talking to Marie? I'm so angry that I feel the fire in me begin to burn. I force myself to take three deep breaths.

"Marie, go and play upstairs. I'll call you when dinner's ready." I say. I wait until she's upstairs before closing the living room door.

"I cannot believe them. They have some nerve. This is low." I breathe out.

"Bribing a four year old girl with ice-cream? I forgot how little decency they have." Belle adds. I nod my head in agreement, before collapsing down on the sofa.

"What do we do?" Belle asks me. I look at her before looking out of the window.

"I don't know….I don't know." I whisper. Belle moves to sit next to me. There's silence for few minutes before she speaks.

"Maybe…Maybe you should talk to them." She suggests. My head whips around to look at her.

"You don't have to listen to what lies come out of their mouth but maybe if you pretend and give them a chance they might leave us alone."

"No…I have a better idea." I say. Belle raises her eyebrows.

"I'm going to see Dumbledore and I'll tell them what's been happening. Maybe he'll be able to stop it."

"They didn't listen to him two years ago. What makes you think they'll listen to him now? I mean, for all we know he could be in on this whole thing."

"Dumbledore isn't like that. Things have changed since two years ago. Without Dumbledore they know that they have no chance winning against Voldemort. They'll respect him and his orders. They have no choice. He's one of the most powerful wizards in the world. Right up there with Voldemort. The rest of them don't compare."

"Do you trust him?" she asks.

"Dumbledore? Yes….He was the only one who stuck by me. If it wasn't for him I would have died in the war. He helped me strengthen my magic."

"If it wasn't for him you wouldn't have become a spy and none of the last two years would have happened." She adds. I look at her contemplating what she said.

"Things happen for a reason. It's the choices we make that determine our course in life." I say quietly quoting Dad.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes.

"When are you going to see him?" she asks softly.

"I'll go tonight. The sooner the better. That way we can carry on with our lives without any rude interruptions."

"What about work?"

"I'll ring in sick. They can handle it without me for one night." I say.

We again sit in silence until I hear the oven timer ring. We both move back into the kitchen and carry on. Dinner that night is an unusually quite affair. Even Marie's constant nattering isn't enough to distract me and Belle. We sing Marie to sleep at eight and at quarter past we're back downstairs in the living room.

"Do you know where he will be?" Belle asks me. She looks worried. She can tell how nervous I am and I try to stop my hands from trembling.

"I'm guessing that he'll be at the Headquarters but I'm not sure. I don't even know if they're still using the same place for the Headquarters as last time and I don't want to go there to find he's not there. I want to talk to him…not anyone else." Belle nods her head showing she understands.

"Maybe if you wrote a letter to him. Doesn't your post travel really quickly?"

"Yeah, good idea." I say.

I grab a pen and sheet of paper from Belle's bag and sit on the sofa writing a quick note telling him that I have to see him as soon as possible. I get my wand, make the letter invisible and cast a spell on it so it will go directly to Dumbledore. We wait in silence for 5 minutes before Belle turns the TV on, but both us have our eyes glued outside the window.

At 8:40, there's a knock on the door. Belle turns the TV off and stands up to go and answer it. As Dumbledore enters the room I say hello and Belle makes to leave.

"No Belle wait. This affects you as it does the rest of us. Stay." She glances at Dumbledore before sitting down next to me on the sofa.

"I have to say I was surprised to receive your letter. I wasn't sure that you would change your mind about helping us." He says. Belle and I glance at each other uneasily.

"Actually Headmaster, that isn't why I needed to speak to you. The decision I made still stands. This fight is not my fight. I'm not a part of that world anymore; I don't want anything to do with it." I glance at Dumbledore to see a confused expression on his face.

"I don't understand." He says slowly. "When you wrote to me I thought…"

"James, Remus and Sirius came here last week." His eyes widen in surprise and I carry on speaking.

"They told me that they needed to speak to me and I told them that I had nothing to say to them. I had made my decision and no-one, especially them was going to change my mind. I told them to leave us alone and we shut the door in their faces…after threatening them with the police." Dumbledore nods slightly telling me to continue.

"We didn't see them for two weeks but today they….er they…." I look at Belle for help.

"Today, the jerks went to Marie's school, told her they were friends of ours, bribed her with ice cream, and talked to her. Basically they didn't listen to a word we said to them two weeks ago and they now seem to be following our baby sister and using her to get information on us." She says fiercely. Something dark flashes in Dumbledore's eyes.

I know it's immature but the first thing that flashes into my mind is "Uh-Oh, someone's in trouble." I force myself back into reality.

"I wrote to you because I know you would be the only one to understand. I've made my decision not to fight in this war. I made my decision to have nothing to do with the magical world. That includes them. I don't want them in my life or especially in Belle's or Marie's. If they can't leave us alone the only thing for us to do is move somewhere else…I'd prefer if that didn't happen seeing as our lives are here and I would appreciate it if you could talk to them and maybe get them to leave us alone. They made their decision about whether or not they wanted me in their life two years ago and I respected that. I think it only decent that they do the same for me." I finish.

Dumbledore's eyes flick between mine and Belle's.

"I see…" he says after some time. "I will have a word with them and make sure that they do not bother you anymore, and they leave you, Belle (he inclines his head to her) and Marie alone."

"Thank you. I would appreciate it greatly."

"Is that all?" he asks, standing up.

"Ummm yes, thank you." I stand up too and we make our way to the door. He steps outside and walks down the front steps without saying another word. I wait until he disappears down the road before closing the door.

"Well…that wasn't too bad." Belle says.

"I guess….now we just have to wait and see whether they listen to him or not. But I'm not going to be taking any chances. I'm not going to leave Marie alone for a second."

"Me either."

We talk for another hour before going to bed early. It's been a long day.

The next morning we make sure that Marie has it drilled into her head that if she ever sees any of them again she won't talk to them or go anywhere with them, and she will tell either Belle or me straight away if she does see them.

I walk into the hospital that morning feeling better than I have done in a long time. It seems like life is finally getting back on track….that is until I open the curtain around Bed 3 to see James, Remus and Sirius behind it. I freeze in shock for a second before quickly closing the curtain around me so no- one can see us.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

_Author's Note: __I'm not to happy with it, because it's a filler and I thought about putting Chapter 6 up as well but that would mean there would be too much happening, so I'm sorry but I promise Chapter 6 will be up shortly. I would really love to hear what you think. I would also like to take this time to thank each and everyone of you who've reviewed so far, put me on your story alert list and on your favourite author's list. It means the world to me! Until next time. Curiositykils_


	6. The one with the realisation

_I don't own any of the names you recognise.....especially Sirius Black....the world is an unfair place_

The anger is evident in my voice. They don't answer. James and Remus look uncertainly at Sirius who's looking at me warily. They all know how dangerous my magic can be when I get angry. Dumbledore and Sirius were the only ones who were able to help me calm down and get back in control when we were at Hogwarts. Now there's no-one.

"Well…I'm bloody waiting." I whisper furiously. "I told you to leave me and my sisters alone but it seems you have a problem in listening to things that are for your own good. I know what you did yesterday. How dare you! I realised you were all bloody jerks but I didn't think even you would stoop so low as to bribe a four year old to get what you wanted. Obviously I was wrong. Why am I not that surprised?" I say viscously moving a step closer to them my hands balled up in fists.

"We didn't know what else to do." Remus begins to speak. My head whips around to face him and I see him gulp.

"You didn't leave us much choice. How else were we meant to talk to you?" James carries on.

"I told you that I don't want to have a conversation with you. You have no right talking to me. You lost that right three years ago when you started treating me like shit and were too cowardly to apologize. You think I give a give a flying whatever that you want to talk to me? Your two years bloody too late."

My voice catches in my throat and I swallow before speaking again.

"I needed you talking to me when I found out I was the "chosen" one. I needed you talking to me all those nights when I was scared out of my mind. I needed you talking to me when I felt like I was the loneliest person in the world. But instead you were too busy glaring at me, calling me every filthy name known to man, making me feel as if I was worthless and didn't deserve to be in the same room as you. I needed you…I needed you talking to me then. I don't need you anymore. I have a new life now. One that doesn't involve magic. There is no way in hell that I'm going to give that up, or risk it in the slightest for a bunch of people who made me want to kill myself. As far as I'm concerned you and your precious Order can go to hell and say there. I've never met anyone in my life that deserve it more than you do. And that includes Voldemort."

I take in a deep breath; give them one last disgusted look before whipping the curtains open and walking away from them. Not crying right there and then is taking every ounce of strength in my body. I wait until I get to the nurses changing room before I do that. My head is throbbing painfully and my eyes burn from the tears.

Five minutes later I take in a few more deep breaths before going back to work. I don't see them throughout the rest of my shift.

As I walk home from work I catch up with Marie and Belle halfway. We talk about the things that sisters always talk about. The stupid things that mean so much to me. We giggle and laugh until we reach home.

I decide not to tell Belle about today. I don't want to worry her. I have a feeling they'll be leaving me alone from now on so there's no point.

We climb up the front steps to find the front door open slightly. Belle and I are the only ones to notice; Marie's still jabbering away about the gold star she got for her homework. Belle and I glance at each other warily.

"Wait here" I tell her. She nods and I carefully push the front door, stepping into the house.

"Hello. Is there anyone here?" I call out. I walk into the living room and kitchen. It's a complete mess. Crockery lies broken all over the floor and pictures and other things lay smashed in the living room. I walk back out into the passageway. Belle looks at me questioningly.

"Wait here while I check upstairs." I say to her. She nods in response. I quickly search the rest of the house. Whoever broke in is long gone. The upstairs rooms are a mess just like downstairs. The strange thing is that nothing seems to be missing. The money that I keep in the house in case of emergencies lays scattered all over my bedroom floor. Downstairs the TV is still there and Mum's old jewellery is left behind. It's like people had broken in just to mess things up. I walk back downstairs. I don't want Marie to see the mess.

"Go and see if Mrs Barns is home. Tell her what's happened and ask her if its okay if Marie stays there until we clean up. It'll probably take a few hours." I tell Belle before crouching down to Marie's height.

"Hey Angel, how about you go and spend the rest of the evening with Mrs Barns?" I suggest. I see her eyes light up. Mrs Barns loves Marie and Marie loves Mrs Barns. The relationship they have doesn't extend that well to Belle and me but I don't especially mind. Mrs Barns smells like cats and marmite. A smell that I can't take for more than one minute at a time whilst I hold my breath.

Belle takes Marie's hand and flies down the steps heading for next door. Marie's now talking excitedly about her new Clifford the dog toy. I force myself to smile but inside I'm scared.

This isn't a normal burglary. For the first time in two years I'm terrified. Terrified that Voldemort has found me and that Belle and Marie are in danger. It scares me that I'm powerless to protect them. If the Death Eaters had come when I was at work in the evening…I shake the thoughts out of my mind.

"She says it's fine and too call her if we need anything else." Belle says jogging up the stairs.

"Oh God." She breathes out when she sees the mess. "Is anything missing?" she asks me.

"Not as far as I can see. They've left the bill money upstairs and Mum's jewellery. They've just made a mess everywhere."

"Why would someone do that?" I don't answer her, my mind drifting back to my theory.

"You think it's them…don't you? That weird guy's followers." She states. I nod my head.

"How did they find us?"

"I don't know honey." We stand in silence taking in the chaos around us. Belle moves first.

"We best get started. Let's do downstairs and then Marie's room first." I nod vaguely.

It's eight before we finish cleaning the living room, kitchen and passageway. We're both tired but will ourselves on in our mind…we only have Marie's room left for tonight…then we can stop and rest.

I walk up the stairs into her room. Belle walks into our bedrooms to look at the damage. I start picking up the big pieces of broken glass of the floor. I see Belle walk in but it's only till she calls my name that I see that she's carrying a white envelope in her hands. As I stand my bangs move into my eyes and I impatiently move them away.

"What is it?" I ask her. She looks at me before passing it too me. I take it in my hands. It's a letter. A magical letter.

My name is written in bright red ink on the front in elegant scripture. I hope its ink…it looks horribly like something else. I turn it over and open it from where it's sealed. I take out the parchment before unfolding it.

Five words stare at me, standing out against the white background. My breath catches in my throat and forms a lump.

"What is it?" Belle asks me, seeing the look on my face. I carry on staring at the words feeling the blood rushing to my head. She rips the letter from my unresisting hands and reads it out loud.

"We will get you Mudblood." She says softly. She looks up at me in shock. We look at each other, our suspicions confirmed.

"Write to Dumbledore." She tells me. I shake my head.

"No…there's nothing he can do…He's found us." I struggle to say.

"You have to write to him."

"No. I don't want anything to do with any of them anymore."

"You might not want anything to do with them…but they obviously have unresolved problems with you." She says waving the letter pointedly. I turn around so I'm not facing her, trying to clear my mind.

"You can't deal with this by yourself." Belle says softly. "No matter how hard you think you try."

I turn around and look at her for a long moment.

"I know what they did to you, and I know that you can't forgive them, but they would want to know." I open my mouth to reply with something along the lines of "Yeah right." But she carries on speaking.

"Dumbledore would want to know…He deserves to know." I look into her eyes before giving in. She's right. Dumbledore deserves to know. We both walk downstairs and sit on the kitchen table sighing heavily. I write a quick letter to Dumbledore telling him about the letter and telling him that we're all fine so there's no need to worry." I send it like I did the last time. We sit in silence for a few minutes before I get up.

"Its 8:30…Marie's probably sleeping my now. I'll go and get her and we can sleep on the sofas tonight. Will you be okay by yourself for a while?" Belle nods her head and waves her hands tiredly indicating for me too leave.

"I'll be quick" I say before walking next door. I ring the doorbell and wait for Mrs Barns to open the door.

"Oh hello dear."

"Hi Mrs Barns. I'm sorry for taking so long. The cleaning took a little longer then I thought it would."

"That's okay dear." She replies. "Marie's all asleep on the sofa." She opens her door so I can walk in. I see Marie curled up in a little ball in the corner of the room. I scoop her up, causing her to whine about being moved. She opens her eyes a little to see who it is before clasping her hands around my shoulder and promptly falling back asleep.

"Thank you so much Mrs Barns. I hope she was no trouble." I say stepping out of the front door.

"Oh no dear. She was an Angel." I smile before walking back home. I step back into the living room to find it occupied. My eyebrows knit together as I stare at the people sitting there. My eyes land questioningly on Belle and she shrugs slightly in response.

"Headmaster, what are you doing here? I told you we were fine."

"I had no doubt that you were as you say fine but I thought I should come and see if you needed any help."

"I don't need any help otherwise I would have asked for it." I say moving further into the room.

"Would you?" My eyes flick to Sirius's and they bore into mine.

"Yes…but like I said, were fine." I say a little louder and fiercer than I had intended to.

Marie wakes up from my shoulder and turns to see who's disturbed her precious sleep.

"It's them…the bad boys you told me about." She whispers loudly in my ear so the whole room can hear what she said. "Injection for life against cooties." She says quickly pretending to inject herself. Belle tries to hide her smile and fails miserably. James, Remus and Sirius have shocked looks on their faces whilst Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkle.

"You told her we had cooties?" James shoots at me. I scowl back.

"You should be pleased it's just that. Believe me…I could have done a lot worse but I was trying to protect my sister's innocence." I smile inwardly as they shut up.

"Maybe it would be best to take this into the kitchen?" Dumbledore suggests. I nod and Belle leads them in. I gently rest Marie on the sofa, detaching her hands from my neck. I cover her with a blanket.

"Song." She mumbles.

I snap my head to Belle before glancing over at the rest of them. They have their hands in their pockets looking at the ceiling embarrassed. Belle rolls her eyes before making her way towards us. We sing for 2-3 minutes more softly than usual, trying to be as quiet as possible but I know they can hear every word we're saying.

God, this is so embarrassing.

When we've finished I kiss Marie's forehead lightly and we walk into the kitchen.

There are only four chairs around the table so Belle and I stand whilst they sit. There is a moment of silence in which time Belle and I glare at the three boys while they try their hardest not to do the same back to us.

"Well lets get started shall we?" Dumbledore says jovially as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

"Did you receive anything else apart from the letter?" I shake my head.

"Is anything missing?" I shake my head.

"Have you checked?" Sirius asks in a bored voice. Belle and I throw dirty looks at him.

"Not properly…we've only managed to clear up downstairs. Upstairs is still a mess."

"How long does it take to perform a cleaning charm?" I don't answer. He knows full well that I haven't used magic in the last two years (apart from occasionally when it is absolutely necessary).

I bite my tongue whilst Dumbledore, James and Remus shoot him warning glances. He ignores them.

"I always knew you were slow in Charms but I didn't think you were that thick." He says. His eyebrows are raised and I know he's just trying to get a reaction out of me.

"And yet I still managed to get higher marks than you in every exam back at school. If I'm thick I wonder what the hell that makes you." I snap back. I feel the fire light up behind my eyes dangerously. I know they all see it because no one says anything for a few seconds whilst Sirius and I stare at each other. Remus opens his mouth to say something but Sirius is quicker.

"Let's go and see upstairs." He says standing up from his chair.

"No!" Belle and I say at the same time.

"Why not?" he asks, his eyebrows raised again as if daring me too snap again. I bite my tongue harder.

"Because it's none of your bloody business what upstairs looks like." Belle throws at him.

"I'm curious?" he says standing up.

"You have no right sticking your nose into other people's business."

"Go Belle" I think vaguely.

"I'll stick my nose in wherever the bloody hell I please." He retorts.

"Sit your arse back down on the chair now. You are a guest in this house. Behave like one." I seethe.

"I seem to remember one guest who out stayed their welcome at my house."

_I open the door to the room where Dumbledore and I train. As it opens I find a large group of people standing there. My eyes fly over their heads but freeze when they reach Sirius. _

_My throat closes up. _

_Nothing is said._

_I feel bodies purposefully bumping into me as they move past me to exit. _

_It hurts. Both physically and emotionally. There are bruises that I hide away from anyone's eyes but mine. _

_Eventually it's only me and him left in the room. My eyes drop to the floor. I feel him move towards me and thinking that he's going to pass me I'm surprised when he stops a hairs width away from me. _

_I can smell his scent. I can almost feel his body as if it's pressed up against mine. Even more so when he leans his head forward. _

_My head flies up and I feel so ashamed in thinking that he's going to kiss me. Instead, his head moves over to my right ear. I can feel him breathing on my neck._

"_Still here I see. I thought we were making it pretty clear how we feel about you being here. When, oh when will you leave?" He sings the last part lightly. _

_My body stills as his words wash over me. He leans back and stares at me for a moment. I can't bring myself to look into his eyes but through the gathering tears I manage to see the cruel smirk on his lips. _

_He moves past me, being incredibly careful not to touch me and he shuts the door. _

_I'm left alone. _

My head comes out of the daze and I reel back in shock. I can't believe he just said that. I close my mouth and swallow, trying to control the anger running through my body.

"You bastard. Get out of my house." I say through gritted teeth. I turn to face the others who are now standing.

"All of you….leave…now!" James and Remus stand up quickly and walk to where Sirius is standing.

"You are in danger." comes a voice from behind me. I turn to face Dumbledore. "You and your family."

"I know." I whisper. My body feels so drained.

"What do you plan to do?" he asks softly. It feels like we're the only two people in the room.

"The only thing I can do…run" I say back, realising it for the first time.

Run. We're going to have to run.

"You have another option." He says reminding me as he walks over to where the three of them are standing. I glance at Sirius's masked face.

"No I don't. I know where I'm not wanted. Thank you for the offer but I think we'll be better off alone." Dumbledore nods knowing there's nothing he can say to change my mind.

"When will you be leaving?"

"As soon as I can get things sorted out."

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know…far away where hopefully no-one will be able to find us." I reply. He nods again.

"I know that I told you this when you were in hospital but you really are one of the strongest brightest witches I have ever had the privilege of teaching." He says smiling at me.

"The privilege was all mine."

"I know you wish that you had never received your letter from Hogwarts and that you never became a witch." I look down at the floor, "but I along with others will be eternally grateful."

I nod in response.

"Goodbye." He says before walking to the front door. I look at the three men who are still in the room, or should I say two. I ignore Sirius. James and Remus step forward a little.

"We know how we treated you was wrong and we're sorry that it happened. But we're even more sorry for the fact that we never apologized to you. If it wasn't for you we might not be standing here today. We're sorry. None of it should have happened." Remus says.

I look at both of them and give them a weak smile nodding my head. I can't give them anything else…what they want.

Forgiveness.

It's too late and as much as I want to forgive and forget I know I won't be able to. The pain runs too deep.

They give me a small smile each before walking out to the front door. My eyes move to Sirius's and I feel them grow colder. My barriers fly up and I see him look deep into my eyes.

"Black." I say as courteously as I can manage. He looks at me for a moment longer. He's remembering the same thing I am. Our second date.

"Corisi." He nods before walking out of the room.

Belle and I follow him as he walks down the steps. We stand in the doorway and look down at them.

"Make sure you look after her." Remus and James say to Belle. Belle is startled for a second but she gives them a small smile and a nod.

"She's very special." Says Dumbledore looking grave. My eyes turn to Sirius. There is nothing to say. I know that we will never see each other, one of us will probably be dead, but there's still nothing to say. But that's our weird relationship.

So much too say none of it ever said.

"Goodbye." I say softly looking at him. Something flashes in his eyes but it disappears in a second. I close the door gently. A new fresh start begins tomorrow.

I vaguely think about how many fresh starts it will take before I can actually let go of the past and it can let go off me.

It's with a hurtful pang in my chest that I realise it might never be possible.

_I'm sitting at a small table in the back of the Three Broomsticks, waiting for Sirius to return with our drinks. My face stretches into a smile as I spot him coming towards me through the crowd. He places a butterbeer in front of me and sits down on the opposite chair._

"_Thanks Black." I say as I take a sip._

"_Now, now. This is our second date and the rules state that after the second date use of last names in reference to your date are not allowed." He teases._

"_Really, and what rules would this be?" I reply._

"_The rules in the guidebook. Surely, you've read the guidebook." He says in mock outrage. _

_I laugh and shake my head._

"_No? Well then I suppose it's up to me to educate you. Rule number one. No kissing on the first date." He waggles his eyebrows at me suggestively causing me to choke on my butterbeer slightly as I laugh._

"_Rule number two. No calling your date by their last name after the first date. Rule number three…"_

"_Okay, okay. You can stop making up crap now."_

_He raises his eyebrows. "You dare to call the sacred guidebook crap. I can see I'm going to have trouble with you" _

"_If I call you Sirius will you stop?" I smile._

"_Maybe."_

"_Okay fine, I promise that from now onwards I will never ever ever ever call you by your last name again…Sirius." _

_His smile reaches his eyes and I get a tingly feeling in my stomach._

"_Good, it's only right you should follow the rules you know."_

_I move to slap him._

Author's Note: So things are finally starting to get moving now! I hope you guys like this one. I definately preferred writing it to the last chapter! Let me know what you thought and make sure to check out my new story too! And thanks again to Ashley for pointing out my mistakes!

Snippet from Chapter 7

_That wasn't the reaction I was expecting. Where's my smile? Where's my hug? Where's my kiss? _

_Welcome back? Why does it seem like I'm not welcome?_


	7. The one with the vision

I hate myself. I physically hate myself. I'm so angry at what I'm putting Belle and Marie through.

It's been two weeks since the break-in. The next day Belle and I packed up the necessities like clothes and some food and stuffed it into three suitcases. I emptied my bank account and we left.

Left our home and left our lives. No correction, Belle and Marie left their homes and their lives. I'm still going to work because we need the money. It's too dangerous for them to go to school so I called the headmaster and told him there had been a death in the family and that they would be missing the next few weeks.

He was full of sympathy and condolences that made my stomach churn in guilt.

The first few nights we stayed at a hotel but there was no way I could afford to keep paying that price forever and so we moved in here.

This hovel of an apartment.

Two tiny bedrooms, one even tinier bathroom and a corner kitchen. It was so disgusting I nearly scourgified the place as soon as we stepped in, but I didn't. Instead Belle and I went to the local shop, bought some cleaning supplies and scrubbed the whole night long.

It's heart-wrenching having to listen to Marie's questions about when we're going to be going back home. Belle and I always end up distracting her with the idea of chips for dinner but even that doesn't seem to be having the desired effect anymore. At least I get a chance to get out of the dump for most of the day. Belle and Marie are holed up in here day and night.

Every morning when it's time for me to leave my heart clenches in fear. What if something happens to them? What if something happens to me? Two days ago when this occurred to me I transferred all my savings into Belle's account and I stuck the deeds to the house at the bottom of her suitcase.

I was breaking my promise to them. The promise I'd made to myself, that they would make the most of their lives. It was because of me that they were stuck here. It felt horrible hearing their "Love you back" in the mornings when I left.

I didn't deserve their love.

"_What do you want?" I ask him as he bursts into my room. _

_I can still hear the party going strong downstairs. Some prominent Death Eater had been apprehended and was currently awaiting trial in Azkaban for the torture and murder of 27 muggle schoolchildren. _

_It was the first bit of good news in weeks and a celebratory party was organised to boost the ever lowering morale._

_I of course hadn't been invited._

"_Corisi, Corisi, Corisi. Sitting up here all by your lonesome again?" I can faintly smell the firewhiskey coming from where he was standing. _

"_You're drunk." He ignores me._

"_Do you know why you're sitting here all alone?"_

_Because all the people I thought were my family turned out to be jackasses?_

"_Because you don't have anyone left."_

_The obvious comment still stings when it comes from his mouth._

"_You hurt everyone you love. You cause them pain." He slurs slightly. _

_It is then that Remus appears at the door, drags Sirius out, gives me a look which I can't decipher and closes the door again._

I made the mistake of telling Belle this five nights ago. She'd gotten angry at me, denying it, claiming it wasn't true. I had merely shaken by head and told her that if she didn't hate me now, she would soon start to resent me.

She stopped trying to change my mind two days ago.

It was like we we're living in limbo. We're living but it feels more like we're simply existing. Struggling and fighting for one more day in this horrible world.

Some days I wish that Voldemort would just come and find me. At least then there would be an outcome one way or the other and people could get their lives back on track again. I realise that I'm being selfish and I force the thoughts out of my head…but late at night when I watch Belle and Marie sleeping, they creep back into my mind, staying with me until the sun comes out in the morning.

Our relationship with each other had changed. We used to be so close; we would tell each other everything. We were the three angels. Now we're more like the three fallen angels. We fell from heaven and landed with a great big thud. Marie's more solemn and quite than she used to be; picking up on Belle and mine's grave mood. There are fewer smiles, less laughter, less hugs and most of all, less songs at bed time. She'll fall asleep without disturbing us.

Belle has the same fire that I have in my eyes and it's slowly slipping away. We lie to each other constantly; we're fine, we had a goodnight's sleep or the biggest lie of all…that we would be alright in the end.

The end…it was on my mind constantly. I found myself playing the "what if" game in my head constantly.

What if I had never become a witch?

What if I was still a member of the Order?

What if I had never become a spy to protect them?

What if Sirius still loved me?

It's time to move someplace further away. Two weeks is enough in one place. We packed our things this evening so we can leave straight in the morning whilst it is still early and there are less people about on the streets. Belle and Marie have long since fallen asleep and I sit here watching them.

My eyes are heavy but there are too many thoughts in my head and I can't get rid of them. The last time I glanced at the watch it was 2:30 in the morning. I don't know when I fell asleep but I wish I hadn't. I had horrible flashbacks of the last battle, and then I saw something new. A vision.

I'm flying in the sky looking down on a battle under me. I'm falling towards them and I land with a thud on the floor, the ground beneath me shaking. I stand up and I see him.

Voldemort.

He's talking to me but I can't hear anything. I feel my magic flowing through my body and I start to rise into the air as what seems to be a lightening bolt strikes me. I create a wall of water around the Order and myself, whilst flying higher in the sky. Voldemort joins me shortly. Before I know it I'm tumbling down to the ground. I can see him saying something to me as I lay there at his feet. I fly back up into the air and suddenly my eyes are blinded by a shining white light. I force my self to look up into the sky and see a bright green light.

Voldemort's gone.

I fall from the sky. An angel falling from heaven.

I wake up covered in sweat and breathing heavily. My lips are dry as I run my tongue over them my heart still pounding wildly.

Was that a dream? Or was it a vision like two years ago?

I don't know what to do…I know deep down that it's a vision, which means that it's going to come true whether I want it or not.

I'm scared.

Not normal scared…I'm terrified. I feel dizzy and sick.

Oh God. I'm going to have to fight him again. I force my breathing to steady and wildly try to remember how long after I had seen the vision last time did it come true.

Two days or three days? Two days or three days?

"THINK!!!" I scream at myself.

Three days……I'm sure it's three days. I run into Belle and Marie's room and gently shake them awake.

"Marie honey…it's time to wake up." I say. She sits up sleepily and rubs her eyes.

"Why don't you go and brush your teeth in the bathroom." I wait patiently while she leaves the room. I turn to Belle and find her awake already, silently regarding me. She opens her mouth to ask me something but I interrupt.

"I just had a vision. Or…I think it was a vision. I saw the battle happening. I was there. I fought him." I say. Belle's eyes widen in shock.

"How long?" she stutters.

"Three days." I reply quietly. We look at each other.

"Does it always come true?" she asks. I look at her before nodding my head.

"You're going to leave us?" she says in a strangled voice after a while. My head flies up and I look into her teary eyes. I move towards her hugging her tightly to me.

"No Angel…not if can help it. I would never leave you or Marie on purpose." I say. Her hands tighten around my neck and I rub her back soothingly. We hear the bathroom door open and we pull away from each other. Belle quickly wipes her eyes so Marie won't see anything. She sits up quietly and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"Where are we going?" Marie asks me quietly. I look at her afraid of the answer.

"17 Kingston Place. Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix." I reply softly.

I'm not sure if Marie hears me or understands me for that matter but she leaves me alone, moving to the kitchen.

17 Kingston Place. Previous home of Sirius's deceased Uncle Alphard.

The place that I'd promised myself I would never go back to ever again. The place that haunts me in my dreams.

Belle comes out of the bathroom and I walk in. I brush my teeth quickly and wash my face. I look into the mirror above the sink and for the first time in two years, look at myself properly.

Same yet different.

I've still got the same black curls that fall down to my waist and the same piercing green eyes…that look like they're dead. I look away quickly.

I splash some cold water onto my face and scrub it away until the skin burns red. We're out of the flat by 3:30. I hitch a black taxi and help the driver load our luggage in the boot while Belle cradles a sleeping Marie in her arms.

"Where to love?" the driver asks me from his seat. I realised that Muggles can't see the Headquarters.

"London will do for now." I reply back. He nods his head before setting off. We reach London in an hour. Belle's fallen asleep with Marie still lying on her lap. My eyes are glazed from looking outside.

"We're in London love." He says, startling me.

"Kings Cross Station please." He nods his head before turning off the motorway.

When we arrive he unloads our bags as I wake Belle and Marie up. I pay him, thank him and watch him drive off.

"Here." I say to Belle, my arms outstretched. She passes me a still sleeping Marie. It's five in the morning and London's beginning to wake up, but it's still pitch black outside. I take a suitcase in one hand while Belle takes the other two and we begin walking.

"How far is it?" Belle asks. I look at her. Her eyes are red from lack of sleep and her body is slumped and hanging.

"About half an hours walk." She looks at me but doesn't say anything, merely nodding.

We reach there about 40 minutes later. My eyes take in the great house before me, and dread slowly starts filling my body.

_Excitement bubbles up inside me._

_It's been over three months since the last time I saw Sirius. _

_Three long months since I've looked into his mischievous eyes, three months since I've been wrapped in his arms, three months since I've kissed his mouth. _

_My smile widens even further and try as I might I can't stop it. _

_He's standing right behind this door! _

_Thinking about that, why am I still standing on this side of the door then?_

_Just when I'm about to ask Dumbledore that very question he steps forward and opens the front door. It's quiet inside. There's no-one in the passage way._

_I feel a pang of disappointment which I shake off. _

_I'm being silly! What did I expect? Some huge welcome back party? They probably didn't even know when Dumbledore was going to bring me here. How can they plan a surprise party?_

_I shake my head before stepping into the house. _

_Still no-one._

"_Where is everyone?" I ask Dumbledore. _

"_I suspect they'll be in the kitchen. I'll go and inform them of our presence." He leads me into a sitting room. _

"_Why don't you wait in here? I will be back shortly."_

_I want to go with him and surprise them all in the kitchen but before I can voice my plan Dumbledore is already striding out of the room. He closes the door shut behind him softly. _

_I look around the room but don't really take anything in. One of my eyes is permanently glued to the door, willing it to open and for Sirius to be standing there._

_Five minutes later and it's still shut._

_Maybe Dumbledore got way-laid talking to some-one. You'd think he'd tell them I'm back before discussing other Order business. _

_Ten minutes later and the door is still shut. _

_What is taking so long?_

_I feel slight disappointment creep back inside my mind._

_Surely, Dumbledore's told them by now. If Sirius and I were in reversed situations and I heard that he was back after 3 months of absence I would run straight into this room and throw myself at him. _

_Why isn't he throwing himself at me already?? _

_13 minutes later and my dreams come true. _

_The door slams opens so hard that it bangs the wall behind it and vibrates before coming to a stand-still. _

_Sirius. My face splits into a smile. _

_My eyes greedily drink him in. I swear I'm never leaving his side again._

_It's when I take my second look at his face that I realise he's not smiling. He's looking at me as if he's never seen me before. _

_He's shocked! I guess I got to surprise him. I step forward and he recoils._

_That stings. I freeze in my steps. His face changes from portraying shock to hate. _

_What? My eyebrows knit together and I swallow the lump in my throat._

"_Sirius" I whisper. _

_He clenches his jaw, takes one last look at me (which makes me feel like I'm the smallest person in the wizarding world) before turning away and walking off._

_I stand in the same place unsurely._

_That wasn't the reaction I was expecting. Where's my smile? Where's my hug? Where's my kiss? _

_Welcome back? Why does it seem like I'm not welcome?_

Boy am I going to receive a frosty reception.

"I can't see anything" Belle whispers. I dig my hand into my purse and pull out an old receipt and pen. I scribble the address on it and give it to her. She reads it before looking back up again.

"Oh My God…" she says gazing up at the house. We stand there for a minute just looking at it.

"Maybe we should ring the doorbell or knock on the door or something."

We move through the gate and walk up too the front door. I move forwards, knock three times and then step back. We wait for ten seconds but there's no answer. I move forwards again, my arm balled up in a fist ready to knock again, when the door swings open revealing two people. Unfortunately my hand carries on moving forward and bangs one of their foreheads before I can stop it. They both look at us shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius hisses. I open my mouth to say something but no words came out.

"Are you alright?" Remus asks in a worried tone after seeing our bags.

"I need to see Dumbledore." I say in a wooden tone. Remus opens his mouth to say something but Sirius cuts him off.

"In case you haven't noticed it's not even six in the morning. He isn't here. What a shame." He says before making to close the door. My hand slams on it causing him to re-open it.

"I need to talk to him." I say through gritted teeth.

"And I told you that he isn't here." He says in a voice as if I'm a three year old. He makes to close the door again but my foot stops it.

"Can we please come in and wait for him then?" I ask as politely as I can muster.

"Of cour…" Remus begins.

"No." Sirius closes the door in my face.

I look at Belle. It looks like we were waiting outside then. Belle however has different ideas as she walks up and begins pounding on the door until Sirius opens it again.

"What are you still doing here?" he asks venomously. "I thought I told you to come back later but you never lis…"

"SHUT UP!" Belle and I yell at him at the same time. He looks shocked before a scowl replaces his features.

"I have had enough of your bloody snide remarks at me. I get that you hate me okay…. I get that you don't want to see me and don't want to be in the same place as me but I have to talk to Dumbledore about something important. Do you really think I would be here of all places if I didn't have to be? So can you please just SHUT UP and let us in. I promise that we won't bother you. Hell, you can make us wait in the basement. I don't care. After I've talked to Dumbledore you'll never have to see me again. You can go on with your life and hopefully I can go on with mine. OKAY!" I shout at him.

He reels from my words before opening the door a fraction more.

I feel quite proud of myself at that moment.

"Thank You." I say grudgingly. I walk into the massive hallway and Belle follows me.

"Ah! I thought I heard your voice Miss Corisi."

_Author's Note: So my time machine did not work and I am now unfortunately a year older. Such joy (!). I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter but I needed it to get the story moving some more. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Oh and an absolutely huge massive thank you to the four of you who reviewed the last chapter. It was actually the most reviews I've gotten for a chapter in this story so you definitely made me happy. _

Snippet from Chapter 8

"Cooty boy said he would sex you so you wouldn't leave....What's sex?"


	8. The one with the welcome

I turn to face Dumbledore as he walks out of one of the drawing rooms.

"I just apparated here. Remus told me that you had something important to talk to me about." He says answering my confused look.

"Umm, maybe it's best if we don't talk about this here?" I say looking uncomfortably at some of the many faces that are now peering at me. I recognise some while others are new.

"Of course….I'm sure you've had a long journey and must be very tired. How about you and your lovely sisters get refreshed and we can talk afterwards?" he suggests, his eyes twinkling at me and Belle before landing on Marie, whose head is buried in my neck.

"Umm, I'd prefer it if we actually talked straight away. That way we won't have to intrude for longer than necessary." I direct the last part at Sirius.

"Of course." He says. "I'm sure the kitchen will be empty right now." He moves towards it, walking through a crowd of younger looking kids around Belle's age. We follow him uncertainly. The crowd whispers as Belle and I pass them.

He waits for us to move in before closing the door behind us. The door is unfortunately now made out of clear glass so the crowd outside can still see us but Dumbledore places a silencing charm on the room so they won't be able to hear us. Belle and I sit down at the table as Dumbledore makes his way to the sink.

"Now what can I get you three for breakfast. It's been a long time since I had the privilege of making my own breakfast. The house elves at Hogwarts have a strong aversion to me popping down into the kitchen, but I'm sure I can manage to rustle up something. You look very tired and hungry if I do say so myself." His eyes linger on me.

"Professor, please that's not necessary. We ate before we left." I say.

"Now, now. I'm sure that was hours ago. I can whip up anything you would like."

"Headmaster, really." I say, but he carries on opening cupboards to see what there is. I take in a deep breath.

"I had a vision." I say clearly.

He drops the plates he was holding and turns to look at me his face suddenly serious. I glance uncomfortably at the people outside the door to see their shocked faces staring at the broken glass before their narrowed gaze turns to me as they try to figure out what I said to make him react like that.

I turn to face Dumbledore again.

"When?" he asks me, making his way to the chair next to me.

"This morning." I reply. "I came straight here."

"What did you see?" he asks. I glance at Belle before answering.

"Maybe it would be better if you saw for yourself." He nods before closing his eyes in concentration. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I feel Dumbledore's mind reach out to mine and force my defences down. The vision replays quickly in my head and I feel it surge into Dumbledore's mind. The bright green light flashes in our minds before we're suddenly thrown apart in the kitchen.

I fly out my chair and hit the shelves behind me causing them to break, before I fall to the ground. My arms cover my head as broken glass rains down around me. I hear Belle rush to me but I force myself up before running to check Dumbledore. He's apparently flown out of his chair and skidded along the floor before landing in an upright position against the sink.

"Headmaster…I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I say helping him up.

"I am quite fine dear. Oh that hasn't happened to me in many years. You are a very powerful witch." He says shaking down his robes. I turn to face the door to see a group of people standing there in shock whilst James, Remus and Sirius are trying to charm the door open.

Dumbledore lifts the charm of the room before telling them that he's perfectly okay and there's nothing to worry about, prior to replacing it.

"Is there anything else after the red light?" I gulp and glance quickly at Belle, before looking back at him, shaking my head.

I can see that he knows I'm lying but he doesn't push me for answers in front of Belle and Marie.

"Alright…" he says. I wait for him to say more but he doesn't. I'm just about to say something to fill the silence when he lifts his head suddenly, and unlocks the door causing the silencing spell to be lifted off the room.

James, Remus and Sirius walk in first, quickly glancing at the broken glass where I landed before looking at Dumbledore. Sirius's gaze lands on me, or more specifically my back. I turn my head slightly to the side and am surprised to see many bleeding cuts from where the glass has pierced my skin. I didn't even feel anything. I grab Belle's discarded jacket from the table and slip it on, covering them. Sirius holds my gaze for a second longer before looking away. No one else has realised anything has passed between us.

"Bill…Charlie. If you could come in here please." Dumbledore says.

Two of the boys that had been whispering to each other earlier come forward and step into the kitchen.

"How about you take Belle and Marie on a tour of the house?" They both quickly walk forwards.

"I'm staying here…" Belle says.

They stop walking towards her and look at Dumbledore uncertainly. His eyes are twinkling. I turn to face Belle. Ever since we were little we could always do this weird thing where we could talk with our eyes. To anyone else it would look really strange, as if we were glaring at each other or eyeing each other up.

I open my eyes a little wider asking her to go. She narrows hers into green slits which obviously is a loud NO. I open my eyes once, narrow them and then open them again. She rolls her eyes in response. I smile. Turning back to the others I see them looking at us oddly.

"Belle would love a tour of the house." Bill and Charlie look at me, not believing what I'm saying.

Belle moves towards the door with Marie in her arms.

"Well…are we going or not?" she said to them. They both immediately walk out of the room following her. I hide my smile.

"I take it you were lying when you said there was nothing after the red light?" Dumbledore asks.

I look at him sternly; he might want to be a little careful about using the word lying in present company. Not doing me any favours old man. However I nod in response.

"I didn't want to say anything with Belle and Marie in the room." I explain.

"That's understandable…Would you mind telling me the rest?"

"I fall to the ground…… and I don't get back up again…That's when I woke up so I'm not sure whether or not…"

"You died?" Dumbledore finishes. Three heads shoot up in surprise and look at me as I nod my head slowly swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I think so." I say quietly.

"I must call the Order to a meeting at once to tell them what has happened…I assume you know what you must do now." I nod my head.

"I am sorry. I know it is not what you wanted." I nod my head again. "I think it will be best if you and your sisters stayed here until it's over."

"No." I say quickly glancing at Sirius. "We have enough money for a hotel for the next three days. Thank you for the offer but…"

"It would be safer if you stayed here. Not to mention easier for yourself. You are going to need help dealing with your visions."

"I can take care of them by myself. I don't need someone looking after me. I did fine the last time."

"You'll be weak and hurt. I don't think you'll be able to take care of Marie by yourself."

"I won't be by myself. I have Belle. She's all the help I need. Please don't worry. We'll be fine…Anyway Marie doesn't know a thing about the magical world and I'd prefer to keep it that way." Dumbledore answers but this time it is in my head so no-one else can hear.

"I understand you have doubts about staying here (we both glance at Sirius who looks startled that we're both looking at him without saying anything) and I understand why but please think about your sisters. They need protection."

"I've protected them fine for the last two years…I don't expect to stop now." I answer back.

If Voldemort's been alive all this time I happen to think I've done a pretty good job of protecting them. I feel slightly annoyed that someone, especially Dumbledore is suggesting otherwise.

"I'm not saying that you haven't. You've done an incredible job…something that not many people would have been able to handle at any age but you handled it wonderfully. I'm just saying that they are going to need extra protection and we are the ones who can provide that."

"I can't Headmaster…Look at him." I say glancing at Sirius before looking back into Dumbledore's eyes.

"This is his house and he doesn't want us here. He's never wanted me here. I'm not going to put Belle and Marie through what I went through."

"He has changed…He's just angry at himself…He knows he lost his chance when he didn't apologize to you. He thinks that if he doesn't let you close know you won't be able to hurt him anymore."

_What?_

"I hurt him?!" I say out loud by accident. The three Marauders jump. I carry on speaking out loud.

"I think you'll find it was more the other way around." I can feel my eyes blaze with fire slightly.

"I know…he doesn't want to get close to you in case _he_ hurts _you_ again." His voice softly whispers in my mind.

Yeah right. Like I'm going to believe that.

"Well he has nothing to worry about. I don't plan on letting anyone get that close again." I whisper looking at the floor.

"Don't give up." He says out loud and my head flies up to find Dumbledore's eyes burning into mine.

"I gave up two years ago…It was the only way I could make sure Belle and Marie were properly looked after."

"Everyone needs love." He says in my mind.

"I've learnt to live without it." I say softly out loud.

Dumbledore regards me with sadness in his eyes and I look away. Footsteps get closer to the kitchen.

"Hey Angel…you ready to go?" I ask Marie as she comes running into the kitchen, Belle following behind her. I lift her up into my arms.

"I like this house…can we stay here? Bill and Charlie are really really really really nice." She says. I smile down at her.

"No honey. We have our own house remember."

"Nooo. I want to stay here. Please let me stay here. I'll be a good girl. I'll never bring mouses into the house again." She whines.

"No means no honey. Come on, go get your stuff." I say putting her on the floor.

"NO!" she screams in my face before running to Belle.

"Belle??? please." Belle looks at me exasperatingly before answering her.

"No Marie…go and get your stuff. We have to go."

"NOO! Your both mean." She says.

Ah, the build up to the tantrum. Got to say, it's nice to know some things are staying the same.

"Marie Lily Corisi." Belle and I both say at the same time. She stops kicking her feet before sitting down on the floor arms and legs crossed a small pout on her face.

"Sorry." I quickly say to Sirius. "We'll be gone in a minute."

He doesn't answer. Instead he's looking at Marie with an amused expression on his face. I move towards her as does Belle. She looks back at us in defiance. I glance at Belle and we both stand up, moving towards our things.

"Alright…if you really want to stay you can. But Belle and I are going home, with or without you." I threaten. She looks scared for about two seconds before looking back at us with a determined face.

"Belle? What would you like for dinner tonight?" I ask her, raising my eyebrows significantly.

"Hmmmm. I was thinking tacos but I'm in the mood for chips." She replies.

Marie's head jerks up at the word chips and everyone in the room chuckles or smiles as they realised what we're doing.

"Chips it is. With lots and lots of ketchup." I try my hardest to hold in the laughter. I can see the fight occurring in Marie's head thanks to the scrunched up look on her face.

"It's a shame you'll miss it Marie. I know it's your favourite. But if you really really really want to stay here then I can't force you to come home." I say as Belle and I move closer to the door.

"You know we can make chips here."

I turn to look at Sirius startled by what he just said. He looks at my expression and smiles.

"Stay..." he says to me.

"No…really" I begin to say. He cut me off.

"Corisi… stay…we've got plenty of room."

I don't answer. Internally my heart is leaping for joy whilst my brain is struggling to control it.

"If you don't I'll just have to hex you so you can't leave." He adds.

There's quiet as people wait for my answer but it's interrupted when Marie stands up, walks towards me, and begins tugging at my hand whispering my name.

"Yes Angel?" I look down at her.

"What's sex?" she asks. I look at her in disbelief as does nearly everyone else in the room.

"What?" Belle and I yell at her. She points at Sirius as she speaks.

"Cooty boy said he would sex you so you wouldn't leave....What's sex? I've not heard that word before." I look at Sirius in embarrassment. He meets my eyes and we both look away.

I can feel my face go red. Oh God, please just open up a hole in the floor and let me fall through it. I don't care if I burn in hell.

"Ermmm…Belle?" I say my voice higher than usual. Belle glares at me before looking at Marie.

"Sex isn't a word. I don't want you saying it again. Understand?" she says. Marie nods her head before looking confused.

"But then why did he say that word when it isn't a word." She asks, confused. Belle looks at me for help.

"Ermmm, because he was never taught by Mrs Macaroni so he can't speak English very well." I say. Belle looks at me with a look that plainly says _is that the best you can do _and I shrug my shoulders.

It was the first thing that came to mind okay?

"Oh okay." says Marie.

"So can we stay here pleeeeease?" I turn back to look at Sirius who is looking more composed than I probably do.

"The offer's still open" he says. I look at Belle. Using my eyes I ask her what she thought. She widens her own eyes in response. I narrow mine.

I can't believe she thinks it's a good idea to stay here!

She narrows her eyes even smaller.

Crap, I lost. I admit defeat.

Belle turns to look at Sirius who's looking at us strangely again.

"We appreciate the offer and would like to take you up on it." She says. Everyone in the kitchen relaxes.

"That's great." Remus says stepping forward. "Let me show you and Marie to your rooms…Sirius will show you where yours is." He says to me.

I glare at him evilly and he smiles back innocently. They leave the room and are followed by everyone else leaving Sirius and me standing there. I shift my feet awkwardly before he clears his throat.

"Well…follow me" he says. I move to where our bags are and started picking them up. I grab two and am reaching for the third, largest one when Sirius's hand reaches for it at the same time. Our hands bump for a second before I quickly pull mine back.

God, it's like a scene out of a chick-flick or something.

"Sorry." I say embarrassed.

He gives me a small smile and a nod before lifting the bag easily and walking out of the kitchen.

The house seems even bigger from what I remember of it. Portraits of Sirius's family members peer at me, some with curiosity and some with disgust. I remember Sirius telling how his Uncle Alphard had tried to burn the portraits of the wall to no avail. He opens a door which leads into a large bedroom.

I look around. It isn't the room I stayed in two years ago. Sirius is about to walk into the room when a voice behind us speaks.

"Blasphemy!" It takes me a second to realise it's a portrait on the nearby wall.

Sirius turns around at the same time I do and I see a look of disgust plastered across his face.

"Blasphemy! This was once a pure and noble house…You boy are one of the last descendants of the house of Black and you are ruining our name by inviting Mudbloods and Blood traitors here to cavort with."

Memories of two years ago flash through my mind, only it isn't only the walls calling me horrible names.

"Shut up you stupid old fool." Sirius yells at the portrait. The portrait looked disgusted and storms out of its frame. We stand in silence for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's not like I haven't been called it before." I say, trying to be hurtful.

He looks at me and a flash of pain passes over his face.

And now I feel guilty.

"Is this my room?" I ask quietly. He nods.

I step in and put the bags on the floor and grab the bag he's holding, careful not to touch his fingers.

"Thanks." I whisper before closing the door.

I take in a deep breath and turn to look at my room properly. There's a large white bed in the middle with what look to be like a white silk canopy hanging around it. The furniture is all white or silver. There's a bathroom coming off it which had a huge swimming pool sized bath in the middle.

I am officially in love.

I take of Belle's jacket and see the red blood marks on it. I glance at my back again to see some of my cuts are still bleeding. Sighing I move towards the bathroom and start cleaning them up with water. It's hard work. I can barely reach some and some are covered by my tank top. I move to grab some more tissue and move back to the mirror.

I nearly have a heart attack when I see Sirius's reflection standing there looking at me. I immediately turn around knocking my hair over my shoulder so my cuts are hidden, but I know he's seen them.

I clear my throat.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"Do you need some help?" He asks nodding his head in my direction.

"No thank you. I'm a nurse. I'll manage."

"Okay. Breakfast is in 10 minutes." I nod my head to show that I've heard him and offer a small smile. He gives me one last look before leaving the bathroom. I turn back to my cuts. My hands are stretching as far as they can but I can't seem to reach the ones in the middle of my back no matter what.

"Damn it." I say to myself as the tissue I'm holding drops from my fingers. I bend to pick it up but someone else's hand gets there first. I gasp and straighten up quickly.

He puts the bloody tissue down on the sink behind me, before grabbing some fresh ones and wetting them slightly.

"Turn around." He says softly.

"Black." I start to object.

"Turn around." He repeats.

Let's assess the possibilities shall we? On one hand we have the situation that involves the ex love of my life running his hands all over my back and on the other we have a situation that involves the ex love of my life leaving me alone whilst my own hands struggle to run all over my back.

I turn around and move my hair out of the way before my brain has a chance to make a clear decision.

His fingers lightly trail my broken skin, causing goose bumps to rise. He dabs at some cuts using fresh tissue in silence before he clears his throat.

"You need to take your top off; I can't get to the rest of the cuts." He says softly. I let go of my hair and pull my arms out of the sleeves. I don't take the whole of my top of. I pull it over my head and bring it forward so my chest is still covered. I move my hair out of the way again. He wets some new tissue and trails the cold water across my skin. I tense as his fingers brush against my back.

Two long minutes later he chucks the bloody tissues on the sink. I quickly pull my top back over my head and turned my body round.

"Thank you." I say softly.

"Your welcome."

I look up into his eyes; he was always half a head taller than me. My eye level is level to his lips. Grey mixes with green and I feel old feelings stir within me.

This can't happen.

I break our gaze and look down at my hands. He steps back.

"We should go to breakfast." I suggest quietly. I manoeuvre around him and leave the room.

When I reach the kitchen, it's full off people. I slip in and sit between Marie and Belle. I keep myself from glancing at Sirius as he walks in and sits down two seats away from me.

I can't go there…I won't go there…Not again.

Dumbledore informs us that the emergency Order meeting is going to be held after breakfast. Once I've finished eating Dumbledore pulls me to one side into a spare room.

"The meeting will be in Hall B." I nod and feel my stomach knot in nervousness. I'm going to be seeing people who I haven't heard a word from in two years. People who made my life hell for seven months.

"Do I have to attend?" I ask him.

He looks at me with his piercing blue eyes.

"Couldn't you tell them what I saw? I mean…I'm not a member of the Order…I don't think I should be there."

"You have as much right as anyone else to be there." comes a voice from behind me. I see Belle standing there. She walks into the room and stands beside me.

"Belle is right." Dumbledore says. "You deserve to be there as much as the next person. Maybe even more than them. Don't let anybody's actions tell you differently."

"I haven't seen them in over two years. They aren't going to want me there." I whisper.

"Don't try telling me any different. We all know that everyone in this house bar you, Belle, Marie, and possibly James and Remus hate me, and think I'm scum. Me suddenly turning up and telling them that they're going to have fight Voldemort in only three days is only going to make matters worse."

"If they hate you then they're stupid jerks who aren't worth your time. You saved them two years ago and you're probably going to save half their pathetic lives again. No offence." She adds quickly to Professor Dumbledore.

"My hearing was temporarily disabled throughout the entire time you were speaking and I have no clue as to what you are referring to." He says. Belle looks at him weirdly.

"Ummm thanks I guess." She says looking at me.

"However I did manage to hear the important basics of what you said and must say that I agree with you. If they can't see past their own prejudices and wrong misconceptions then they are missing out in seeing what a beautiful strong young woman you have turned into. You have faced more than anything they have put together and you have come out the other side smiling. I know you can't forgive them for what they've done and I have to say that if their misjudged opinions have not changed then they don't deserve their forgiveness. You are a million times better than them…and it hurts me to realise that they've scarred you so much that you will not ever believe what I've just told you." He says looking at my shaking head.

"Ummm, headmaster…everyone's ready for you know." I whip my head around at the voice to see Sirius and James standing in the doorway. Please say they haven't been standing there for long.

"Well let's go and put everyone's mind at rest." He says cheerily. He starts moving to the door where they're standing. I'm still rooted to the spot.

"Dumbledore, please." I say softly in his mind. He stops walking and turns around.

"You have to face up to your past child. Otherwise you will never be able to properly move on." He says out loud.

I look at him then look at Belle, who nods her head slightly in encouragement. We both move to the door. My stomach is lurching and I feel like I'm going to be sick. We make our way down to Hall B. We reach the closed doors and I can hear the soft murmur of voices on the other side. I turn to Belle.

"Go and see if Marie's okay." I tell her. She looks at me incredulously.

"I don't think so." She says crossing her arms over her chest preparing for a fight.

"Belle." I say warningly.

"No, don't Belle me. It won't work this time. If you think I'm going to let you go into a hall full of people who hate you alone then you really are the crazy one. I'm not going to let you face them by yourself…and anyway I want to see this bunch of tossers who think you're working against them or something equally stupid." She says fiercely.

I glance at Dumbledore uncertainly and his face shows he's thinking hard.

"It has been law that no-one outside the Order enters our meetings." He says quietly.

Belle opens her mouth to say something but stops when I send her a sharp glance with my eyes.

"But I feel I can be slack this one time." Belle flashes him her most charming smile and he chuckles.

"I see charm, cheek and fire are a Corisi family trait." He says before turning serious.

"Are you ready?" he asks me. I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.

Into the depths of hell we go.

_Author's Note: Please review_


	9. The one with the Order meeting

As soon as Dumbledore opens the doors to Hall B its occupants fall silent. The silence only lasts for a second before people zero in on Belle and me and hush (I use the word hush lightly) whispers start to erupt.

Oh God, what am I doing back here?

I keep my head up determinedly and force myself to walk calmly down the aisle to the seats in the front row.

Calmly, calmly, calmly. God how far away are these seats?

After what feels to be an eternity we finally reach them. Belle sits on the chair next to me and Remus on the chair next to her after giving me an encouraging smile that boosts my confidence a minute amount.

I don't realise how hard my hands are fidgeting in my lap until Belle lays her hand over them. I give her an appreciative look. Dumbledore makes his way onto the platform and casts the Sonorous charm on his throat.

"I have called you here this morning on such short notice as I have received some news. In the early hours of this morning I received a surprise visit from an old friend who I'm sure many of you recognise and remember. For those of you that have not had the pleasure of meeting her let me please introduce to you Miss Corisi."

A ripple goes through the room.

"I think the name "The Traitor" seems more appropriate" someone calls out.

I force my head not to turn around and burn the person who said that. My eyes fall to my lap and my hair covers my face.

I knew this would happen. I knew and yet after two years of accepting it and telling myself that I didn't care what they said to me, their words still hurt…they still cut through my heart and rip it that little bit further. I know why I care…..these are people that I have…had known for six-seven years. They were my friends….my family. No matter how many times I told myself that they were strangers I couldn't erase the memories from my head.

"Miss Corisi was not and will never be a traitor. She risked her own life for everyone in this room by agreeing to be a spy for Voldemort. Not many of you would have been so quick to do the job, especially at the age of seventeen. It was imperative for her safety that we made it look real. That we made it look as if she really betrayed us, otherwise Voldemort would have been suspicious. She gathered valuable and precious information for us for three months without complaining or worrying about herself once. She put your lives ahead of hers, just like a true member of the Order of the Phoenix does. I am proud to have her on our side today when the final battle looms only three days away."

There were gasps from around the room.

"How do you know this Albus?" I tuned to look at Kinglsey Shacklebolt. I always liked Kinglsey. Yes, he was there when people said the things they did but not one word came out of his mouth.

"Miss Corisi had a vision this morning much like the ones she had two years ago. Events turned out exactly as she saw them…I have no reason to doubt her word this time."

"You may not, but trust and forgiveness does not come to the rest of us so easily."

It started again. I take a deep breath of air and let it out unsteadily. Belle's hand tightens around my own unconsciously. I know she too is forcing herself to keep calm.

"You should be asking…no begging for forgiveness from her. Not the other way around." Says Dumbledore.

"You expect us to just believe everything that she says because you say so. We have no solid proof."

"Hear Hear." Some people agree.

"She shouldn't even be here!" someone exclaims. "She is not a member of the Order and yet she is sitting here probably taking in everything that is being said before telling all to Voldemort."

I hear Dumbledore say something back in a vain attempt to reason with them. More voices join into the argument. I see Remus stand up from beside me and defend me. All I can hear are shouts and fighting. I feel dizzy. My mind is closing down.

I'm going to have another vision.

"Get them out of my way." I scream in my mind sending a message to whoever will hear it.

Dumbledore stops speaking and looks at me. Suddenly he silences everyone in the room and using his wand pushes their chairs to each end of the hall leaving me in the middle. I clutch my chair tightly.

Please don't let it be now. Not here.

It's no use. I close my eyes tightly.

I hear Dumbledore move towards me quickly.

"NO!" I shout at him as loud as possible. He stops in his tracks and moves back.

From the gasps I hear from the Order members I know my eyes have turned from green to black orbs. I lift my head. I know I'm still facing Dumbledore and I'm still in the Hall, but the area in front of me is replaced by a grassy area and there stands Voldemort.

He's talking to me but again I can't make out what he was saying. I rise into the air and turn around. My hands lift to float next to me and fire starts spitting out of them. In my vision I'm aiming at Voldemort but deep in my mind I know I'm still in the hall and hope I'm aiming at the entrance doors and not at any people.

I see Voldemort flick his hands towards me. The grassy area disappears and I find myself back in the hall shocked faces looking up at me. The next thing I know I'm being knocked back in the air by a powerful force. I scrabble aimlessly at the air I'm passing, looking for anything to stop me but there's nothing I can do.

The air whooshes out of my lungs as I smash into the large oak doors before dropping to the floor. Thankfully my mind blacks out before the floor hits me.

When I do finally come around I see three faces pushed up in front of me. Belle and Dumbledore's are the first two I see, Sirius's surprises me. He's peering at me intently but when my eyes turn to him and he realises what he's doing his face masks once again.

I try to sit up but am pushed back down onto the floor by Belle's hands. I push her hands away and ram myself into a sitting position breathing heavily.

"How do you feel?" Dumbledore asks me.

"Like I just slammed into a wall." Dumbledore helps me up. I guess he preformed any necessary healing spells on me as I only have a slight headache. I look back at Belle and am shocked to see tears in her eyes. I haven't seen her properly cry in two years, since Mum and Dad's funeral. She hugs me tightly and I wrap my arms around her.

"Angel…I'm fine. I'm fine." I whisper in her ear.

"I thought you were dead." She says her voice muffled.

"It's going to take more than getting pushed into a bloody wall to get rid of me. Don't think you and Marie are getting of that easily. I'm going to be around for a long time yet, whether you want me to be or not."

My eyes unconsciously rise to Dumbledore's as he registers the lie I might have just told. I realise Sirius has seen this glance from the disturbed look on his face and I focus back onto Belle.

"Maybe we should postpone this meeting to another time?" suggests Sirius.

"No…we don't have much time left. We need to get things sorted out and now."

Dumbledore guides me back to the front of the hall to my seat before moving the other chairs back to the original positions they where in and removing the silencing charm.

Voices cry out instantly.

"What was that? She just tried to kill us. If you hadn't moved us out of the way then we would have been burned alive."

"OH SHUT UP!" My head whips to face Belle. "She just saved your bloody lives again you idiots. These are the visions she has. She told Dumbledore to get you out of harms way before she used her powers." Her statement is met by silence.

"Why should we believe that? We only have your word for it. No proof or evidence. I didn't hear anything. She is a traitor and she shouldn't be here, neither should you. She betrayed us two years ago she will do it again. We can win this fight without help from you and that abnormal magic you have."

My head flies up and a ripple of shock goes through the room. That is it. I've had enough.

"I'm don't seem to remember you complaining about my abnormal magic when it was saving you two years ago" I tell him viscously through my mind. He gives a small yelp and stares at me wildly. I stand.

"I don't want to be here just as much as none of you want me to be here…but I got a vision this morning of the final battle. I thought the decent thing to do was to warn you all that you have three days left to live. Even though any other person would have just left you to die after the way you treated me two years ago. I've done my part and warned you. Now you can do whatever the hell it is you want to do for the next three days. Prepare yourself to fight or cower away and hide because lets get one thing straight here. I DON'T GIVE A BLOODY DAMN! Belle get up, we're leaving."

She stands and together we walk down the aisle. A sea of faces passes us and as we near the doors, I fling it open using my magic before we reach it. They bang on the wall behind them with a deafening sound. We cross the threshold and I stop and turn back to look at them.

"If this is the only resistance there is against Voldemort then I seriously feel sorry the rest of the wizarding world." I give them all one last disgusted look, before turning my eyes back to Dumbledore.

"Sorry." I say to him.

"Wait…" Dumbledore begins but he doesn't get to finish as I put the defences up around my mind so no one can get through.

"Where is she going?" I hear James ask Dumbledore. His voice echoes around the hall.

"She's leaving…" says Remus. James looks back at me before turning back to Dumbledore.

"You have to do something."

Dumbledore and Sirius begin walking up the aisle to where I'm standing. I wait until they are 10 feet from me before emitting a 10 foot wall of fire, thus separating us. They stop abruptly. Through the flickers of flame I can see them standing and staring at me. I bring my hand up and with a gust of wind, close the door in their faces.

I stand there for a while as my body trembles, the magic coursing through it after a long time.

"Let's go." Belle says softly. "It was a mistake coming here."

Mistake……..definitely a mistake.

I run to my room and grab our bags. Belle is standing at the front door with Marie in her arms. Bill and Charlie are standing next to her asking her where we're going. I open the front door, ignoring the questions being thrown in our direction and we walk out. I hear quick footsteps and see a crowd of people turning the corner sharply.

I look at Belle and she looks at me. We carry on walking.

Suddenly three figures apparate in our way. I regard them for a second before Belle and I manoeuvre around them. Anger still pumps through me. James and Remus run in front of us stopping us from walking further.

"Get out of my way." I say through gritted teeth.

"Please don't go….we need your help."

"I'm sorry. I find this quite ironic. I helped you all two years ago even though none of you deserved it. Then when I'm done you kick me out and want nothing more to do with me. When I needed your help in the last two years none of you were anywhere to be seen and now suddenly you need my help again and expect me to comply and forgive you. Tell me one good reason why I should stay and risk my life for a bunch of people who made my life hell and only had the decency to apologize when they needed something from me, whilst the other half hasn't apologized at all?"

"Without you, we have no chance. You're the only one who can fight him and you're the only one who has a chance of winning."

"Oh no…you misunderstand me. I will fight Voldemort and I will kill him….but only when he comes looking for me or my family. These two (I said pointing to Belle and Marie) are the only people who I will risk my life for. No- one else."

We walk around them again.

"And you'll be able to live with that? You'll be able to live with these people's death on your conscience?" shouts James.

I whirl around.

"These people's death will never be on my conscience. It'll be on their own"

"You know that isn't true. If you walk away now you'll be the one killing them." I carry on walking Belle's hand tightly pressed against mine.

"Everything we said about you is true. You don't deserve to be a witch or have that kind of magic if you're not going to use it to do good for others. All you're thinking about is yourself." I stop.

"Take Marie and cover her eyes." I tell Belle. She scoops Marie up and buries her face in her hair. I turn just as my magic flows through me. I lift up my hands and the three of them are lifted into the air. I fly towards them slowly.

"How dare you? Not doing good for others? Not thinking about anyone but myself? I seem to recall me doing a whole load of good for others when I saved your good for nothing arses two years ago. You treated me like shit. Every second of every day for seven months I had to put up with you…all I heard and saw were filthy names and dirty looks. You took my life and ripped it to shreds without a thought for my feelings or the consequences and yet I still saved you. I still nearly died risking my life fighting him for you pathetic, prejudiced bastards. And you know why? Because I stupidly thought that things would go back to normal after the war finished. I stupidly thought that I could forgive you and we could go back to the way we were before I became a spy. The day I woke up in hospital and found out that you didn't want anything to do with me I promised myself that I would never again in my life be as STUPID as I had been then. That day you all became strangers to me. People I wouldn't give a second glance to if I passed them in the street. There are only two people in this world that I would die for in a second if it guaranteed their safety. None of you three or anyone who has ever stepped foot in that house before today are those two people. I want nothing more to do with anyone of you ever again. If I ever see any of you ever again in my life…if I see any of you even look in our direction I swear to God I will not hesitate to cause some serious damage…..permanent damage. Understand?" I spit coldly.

By now I'm right in their faces. I glare at each one of them icily before throwing them backwards. They fly 12 feet in the air before hitting the ground; hard.

"Never knew you had it in you." Belle says to me amazed. She looks at me proudly and I feel my anger ebb away.

"Shall we?" I tell her. She gives me a warm smile.

"We certainly shall." She replies and we walk away not looking back once.

ooo

_Author's Note: Please review and let me know what you thought. Next chapter is the big one! Below is your snippet! _

_Snippet from chapter 10_

"_No…don't give up. Belle and Marie need you." My eyes fly open and I meet Dumbledore's eyes._

"_Look after them for me. Please." I whisper._

_(If you haven't already check out my new one-shot when you have the time. The feedback I've been getting is that it is ridiculously sad so I'm warning you in advance!)_


	10. The one with the battle

I know that Voldemort will leave me alone until the final battle in which he probably expects to see me. After leaving Sirius's house we make our way back home and the next day we've already slipped back into our routine.

Marie is back to her usual cheerful self and is demanding songs and stories again. Belle and I are closer again. We had a good talk on the first night we came back home and cleared things up. Hours go by without my mind flickering to Voldemort at all. I feel the happiest I've been in a long time.

My visions are the down side. They come when I think life can't be better. They bring me back down to Earth…literally.

I try not to think about the end of the vision. I always snap back to reality after I watch my body lying on the floor for a few seconds. Who knows? Maybe I would get back up two seconds later and everything would be fine?

I live on the thought that if Voldemort doesn't see me fight then he might leave us alone. I know it's far-fetched…even if he doesn't see me as a threat he would still kill me and my family because of the blood running through our veins.

Sometimes I think about moving somewhere far away. As in a different country. I build up all the advantages in my mind preparing myself to tell Belle and Marie but then I listen to their stories about their friends and school and I lose the will. I don't want to disrupt there life anymore than I already have done.

I made sure I made a will that leaves everything that we have of value like the house and money to Belle and Marie. The lawyer is an old family friend of Dad's. He and his wife are good kind people. They would look after Belle and Marie if something happened to me.

ooo

I wake up the next day with a bad feeling in my stomach. It takes me a while to realise why. Today is the day. The day the final battle will be taking place. I lie in bed staring at the ceiling before pushing the covers off me and getting ready. Breakfast is prepared by the time Belle and Marie came downstairs.

"How about you take the day of school today?" I ask them. Marie replies instantly with a yes but Belle narrows her eyes at me suspiciously.

"Why?" she asks. "You've never let us have the day off before with no reason."

"I felt like being nice today. Is it such a bad thing to want to spend the day with my two favourite sisters?" Marie instantly gets up and runs upstairs to change from her school uniform.

"Is this because of the battle?" Belle asks me. I look at her.

"Of course not." I reply back quickly. She knows I'm lying.

"An angel just fell from heaven……if your not fighting against him then there's nothing to worry about is there?" I don't reply straight away.

"Unless you are thinking of fighting…"

"No…I don't know…"

"Don't listen to him."

"Who?"

"James……you were right…their deaths should be on their own consciences, not on yours."

"I know…but I can't help it. If I fight at least they have a chance."

"If you fight Marie and I don't have a chance. I know that you're lying to me. I know that something bad happens to you in the vision…You die don't you? That's why you don't want us to go to school today."

"You were always to smart for your own good." I say smiling weakly.

"Please don't fight. Please. I don't want you to die. I can't look after Marie by myself. I'm not like you. I won't be able to do it. I'm not strong. I need you." Belle cries silently.

I hug her tightly and she sobs into my shoulder.

"I won't fight." I say quietly. She looks at me, her face wet and red.

"Promise?"

"I promise…but if he comes after you or Marie…" She nods in agreement.

ooo

The day goes by quickly. Belle and Marie go to school and I go to work; although I'm so distracted it would have been better if I had just stayed at home.

Questions race through my mind. What are they all doing now? Do they hate me for leaving them? I know I have no reason to help them but I can't stop feeling guilty.

We eat dinner in silence. I toy with the food on my plate in a daze and Belle toys with hers as she looks at me worried.

Evening falls and I lock myself in my bedroom staring out of the window as the moon rises in the sky and darkness appears.

It has started. I can sense it.

I hear the clock on my wall count the seconds and minutes by. I can't help but feel that every time I heard the minute hand move another person falls to the ground dead. There's a soft knock on my door. I move to open it and find Belle standing there. She walks in and sits on my bed whilst I move back to the window chair. Lightening illuminates the room.

"Go…" I whip my head round to face Belle.

"Go…" she says louder.

"What?"

"I know you…they don't deserve your help for a second but if you don't help them you'll feel guilty for the rest of your life." I move towards her and sit down next to her.

"I can live with the guilt. I promised you that I would never leave you and Marie and that's one promise I don't intend on breaking."

"You made that promise to me and now I'm telling you to break it…I know that you would never leave Marie or I…You've had plenty of chances in the past but you've always been here for us. Now they need you to be there for them. I know you still love them, God, Julie's been acting like a complete bitch to me recently but I still love her loads…It's the same for you. I know it is. I can see it when you look at them."

"If I go, I might not come back." I say quietly.

"I know…" Belle says her voice breaking. "You remember what Mom used to say. You go through life looking for the one person who has your key and when you find them you do anything to keep them with you…. He didn't steal your key. It was his to begin with. You found him and he unlocked your heart."

"Yeah…to hurt it." I cut in.

"He made a mistake....a pretty big one but it was still a mistake. If you can forgive him or not, that's your decision. But you have to move on…get some closure. You protect your heart so no-one can get close to you in case they hurt you again. Don't deny it. I know you do. And I'm not the only one who's realised. Dumbledore has too. Go…It'll be the last time you might see them. Go and get closure."

"I love you and Marie so much." Tears falling from my eyes.

"And we love you back double." She replies her voice wavering.

"Promise me that you'll look after yourselves. Promise me that you'll live life to the full and do everything you've ever wanted to do."

"I promise."

I squeeze her tightly and she tightens her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. We stay like that for two minutes until the bedroom is illuminated with lightening once again. I look into her eyes and wipe her tears away. There's nothing for me to say to her. She understands. I get up, wiping my own tears and move to the door.

"Try to come back." She whispers.

"Don't you think that I won't be doing just that."

I open the door and close it behind me. I walk into Marie's room and find her sleeping peacefully. I kiss her on the forehead and she stirs a little before falling back asleep. I close her door and make my way downstairs. Pictures of the three of us pass me as I walk by, tears falling thick and fast from my eyes. I open the door and step outside, walking down the front steps. When I reach the gate I turn around and look back at the house. I see Belle standing at my bedroom window looking down on me. I blow her a kiss before apparting away.

ooo

After ten minutes of popping around in every moor type area that makes up the wizarding world I finally land in the field where the battle is taking place.

Voldemort catches sight of me and calls his Death Eaters back to him. Order members lay scattered on the ground, some staring at me wide-eyed, their eyes filling with hope. Whilst others simply stare vacantly. It's these bodies that cause me to shudder.

I turn back to face Voldemort. His face shows no surprise, only its normal twisted cruelness. Order members rush to stand behind me.

"Well, well, well. I see you're still alive. I have to say that you seem to have become quite a pain…always standing in my way……even my most powerful curse can't seem to kill you."

"Isn't that a shame? I could say the same thing to you. The freak that just won't go away. You're like a cockroach. Refusing to be crushed and removed" I reply coldly.

His eyes flash dangerously and I force myself to stare back at them.

"May I ask as to why you join the fight so late? You were never one to back down and let innocent people be killed." I don't reply and his face twists into a mad smile. It makes his face look more contorted than ever.

"I see…" He says.

The next words that come out his mouth shock me to the core.

"Join me…" I stare at him. "You hold great power; power that can be of advantage to me…Of course…I would make it worth your while. Join me and I will make sure that you and those sisters of yours are never harmed." I look at him in disbelief and I struggle as my mind contemplates what he had just said seriously.

"Like I can trust you." I throw at him.

"I'd be willing to make an Unbreakable Vow." My eyes widen. He's being serious. If he made the vow and broke it, it would mean he would die. For the first time in my life I'm actually considering joining his side. All I want is to ensure Belle and Marie's safety and he's giving me that.

I turn around to face the Order. My eyes fly over their faces until it lands on Dumbledore and the three of them. I regard them for a second, my mind still struggling to come up with a decision.

I see Sirius take a step forward to move to me but Dumbledore reaches out his hand and stops him. I take a few backward steps away from them making my way to Voldemort. The hope in their eyes extinguishes and shock replaces it.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I feel my magic come into me, building up and spreading. I open my eyes and hear gasps of shock as they see the black orbs. I lift myself from the ground and both sides look at me with baited breath. I move my hands in front of me and two bolts of fire appear. I have made my decision. In a second I turn around and throw the jets of fire at Voldemort's' feet.

"I will never join you, you murderer." I land on the ground and bend my knees slightly to steady myself. I look up into the sky and a whirlwind descends down onto me. I heard some people behind me grasp but before it reaches me I throw my hands out and it flies towards Voldemort.

His death eaters are knocked of their feet as they are chucked backwards; some hitting trees with a thud. I look Voldemort in the eyes for a split of a second before he fires a stream of ice at me with his wand. The fire from my hand flies towards it and our magic explodes where the two meet.

I force my body harder but I feel my muscles quiver and I know he will be able to outlast me. I remove one hand from in front of me and move it behind me making a wall of water gush out towards the Order members.

Some scream as they see waves of water flying their way. The water builds up around them creating a wall of protection. My arm gives way and I fly upwards. The ice scrapes my shoulder before hitting the water wall and melting.

Oh crap it hurts.

I clamp a hand on my shoulder pressing it tightly. I look back down and see Voldemort looking up at me. Behind him his death eaters are rising. My hands come together before flying apart rapidly. Ice shards fly towards them. Some hit their mark and the death eaters crumple to the ground, whilst others writhe in pain.

Voldemort releases a deafening noise and my eyes focus back onto him. I haven't trained my magic in a long time and I'm tiring quickly than I would have two years ago. I droop back to the ground and steady myself on a tree.

Suddenly I'm knocked off my feet. I fly backwards rolling around thirty feet in the air, before hitting the ground. My head bangs against a rock and stars burst in front of my eyes as my mind reels in pain.

Oh God, make it stop.

Somehow I prefer slamming into doors than a sharp rock. My body is lifted into the air.

"No wonder no one wants anything to do with you. Look at you, you're pathetic. Who would want to do such a disgusting thing as love you, you're a dirty mudblood. Any last words before I kill you?"

I feel a new surge of strength flow through my body at his words.

"Yes Tom……watch how this dirty mudblood kills you." I say through gritted teeth.

Before he can answer, I summon all four elements and hit him. He deflects them with his wand, but he's struggling to keep them away from him. I grit my teeth through the pain; tears involuntarily falling down my face.

We are both lifted into the air and I vaguely see the Order making their way to where we are and stopping in their tracks as they see us. My body feels like its on fire; my magic is crackling around me fiercely. I scream out in pain forcing my body to carry on.

Oh God, I'm going to die.

Voldemort stumbles backwards and as his shield breaks I hit him in the chest. He looks surprised and shocked for a millisecond before he gives a howl of pain followed by a blood-curdling scream. I put every last bit of energy I have into hitting him, willing him to stop screaming so I can stop too.

A picture of Belle and Marie flashed in front of me and I pushed myself closer towards Voldemort.

My screams mingle with his echo around the deserted area. My muscles shake violently. Just when I think my body is going to explode I see a bright green light flash in front of me. Dumbledore has sent the killing curse up at him.

Jeez could he not have done that earlier?

My magic is deflected in four different directions and my arms drop to my sides. I see his eyes one last time before they close burst and my mind goes numb. I can't stop myself falling to the ground.

An angel falling from heaven.

ooo

I don't register the ground hitting me although I must not have passed out for very long as when I open my eyes weakly I'm still lying on the grass. I hear running footsteps coming towards me. I breathe in air but it didn't seem like it's enough.

My body is twisted into an awkward position…broken. I feel rather than see people huddle around me. The air suddenly feels a lot warmer. The view above me of the stars is blocked when a face hangs over mine…Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore." I say shallowly.

"Don't move…We'll get you to St Mungo's."

"No, it's too late."

As soon as those words are out of my mouth the people around me stop what they are doing and look at me.

"Don't give up." He says. I feel a tear fall from the side of my right eye. I want to wipe it away. It's tickling me but I can't seem to move my arm.

"I'm so tired of fighting." I say quietly closing my eyes. It hurts to keep them open and it hurts to keep them closed.

"No…don't give up. Belle and Marie need you." My eyes fly open and I meet Dumbledore's eyes.

"Look after them for me. Please." I whisper.

He opens his mouth to say something but instead he simply nods his head in response. I relax and close my eyes again. My breathing quickens as I try to get more oxygen into my body.

"NO. There is no way your dying now." Says a voice.

I can't open my eyes to see who it was. I feel myself being lifted and I groan weakly. Who's moving me? I just want to sleep.

A pair of arms circles around my body and then I feel the familiar feeling of Apparation. It hurts and I open my eyes slightly to stare evilly at the person who's disturbing me. Bright white lights shine into my eyes. I'm being placed on a bed and I hear a dull warbled commotion around me. I try to open my eyes but all I can see are dark figures bustling around me. My head is lifted and a potion forced down my throat. It stings and I splutter trying to spit it back out but as it trickles down my throat I feel my body warm instantly.

I close my eyes and let the heat wave sweep though me.

ooo

_Author's Note: My readers for this story seem to be dropping lies flies around me :-( If anyone has any constructive criticism then I'd love to hear it! I feel like all my excitement for this story is disappearing, and I'm glad that the whole story is already written otherwise I would have seriously be in a writer's slump right now. Onto brighter things, a big big thank you to the three of you who reviewed the last chapter! Next chapter will be out on Saturday_!


	11. The one with the apology

The lights in the room that I wake up in are dim, for which I'm very grateful. My eyes hurt even though I have opened them a mere fraction to peer around. My mouth is dry and when I try to speak my throat croaks. I guess the croaks are loud enough as two seconds later a medi-witch comes bustling in.

"Oh…Miss Corisi, you're awake?"

You don't say.

"How great." She says in a cheery voice. It hurts my head to listen to her.

"Now don't you worry about a thing. We've been looking after you for a while now."

My eyes widen. How long was a while?

"Oh no…don't worry. You've only been unconscious for 5 hours."

She puts a potion to my lips and I sip it. My head clears immediately and the feeling comes back in my hands and feet.

"You had us all scared for a second there, but your friends kept telling us how strong you were. I have to say that I didn't believe them at first but it seems you've proved me wrong."

"How long before I can leave?" I ask her. She looks a little hurt at my question but hides it well.

"Bored of the place already? I'm afraid your going to be stuck here a while. A few days at least."

I push the covers off me and she moves forward.

"It's best if you just lie still. You've been to hell and back tonight."

I ignore her and force myself to sit up. I notice that I'm wearing a white hospital gown.

"I want to leave."

"Oh now…you've been through a big shock."

"No…I would like my discharge papers and if it's possible and pen and a blank sheet of paper."

She looks at me determinedly ready to fight me into staying.

"Look…I'm very thankful for your help but I don't belong here. I'm a muggle and you can't force me to stay here. If you would be as kind as to bring me what I asked for otherwise I'll just leave without signing anything."

I look at her and she looks at me. I can see her resolve falling. She hurries out of the room and is back in 30 seconds. I sign the discharge papers without reading them and she hurries out again.

I take the pen and paper, unsure about what to write or who to write it too. I eventually settled on one letter to Dumbledore.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore_

_I'm sure that your worried about me but please believe me when I say that I'm fine. I'm not sure about what to write so I'll keep it short, I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than to read my letters. I know you're probably wondering about why I turned up today. To be honest I'm not sure myself but what I do know is that you've always been here for me when I needed someone. This was my way of repaying the favour. What I said the last time I was here still stands. I don't belong in this world and it doesn't matter how hard I try I never will. This is the reason why I'm not here anymore. This is the first time in a long time where I can forget about my past and start afresh. I know you will want to thank me and I accept your gratitude. I will never forget my time in the magical world. It's unfortunate that I'm writing this, but it's like you once told me. Everyone has a place in the world and I found mine. It's with Belle and Marie and making sure that I can give them the life they deserve. I'm not sure how many times we've said goodbye over the last few weeks but this time it's for real. Please give me a chance to have a life without being haunted by the past……… I will never forget you and all you have done for me. _

_Forever and always_

_Your loving student_

I re-read what I've written before folding it in half. I write Dumbledore's name on the front before getting out of bed and placing it on my pillow. I take one last look at his name before leaving the hospital and apparating home.

ooo

It's quiet and I can't hear anything, although the kitchen light is on. I make my way there silently. Belle is sitting there at the table. Her legs are bent towards her body and tears fall silently from her eyes. A glass of hot chocolate stands untouched in front of her and there's another mug opposite her on the other side of the table.

"That better be for me." I say.

She jumps up in surprise and her head whips around to face me. Her eyes widen in surprise before she let's out a cry and runs to me. I let out a small gasp as she lunges at me and she immediately draws back.

"I'm sorry." She repeats over and over again.

"Forget that." I smile through my tears and I pull her back to me. She wraps her arms around me tightly squeezing me as if she wants to become one person.

"I thought you were gone…I thought you were dead. It's been so long since you left I thought…" She cries into my shoulder.

"I promised you and Marie wouldn't get rid of me that easily." I hear a muffled laugh and she draws back. She moves me towards the sofa and sits me down.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"I'm fine…just a bit tired." I lie. My body is still a little painful but I'm sure after a little rest it'll go away.

"You're going straight to bed." She orders.

"Yes Mum." I smile back but don't resist as she moves me upstairs into my bedroom. I slump beneath my covers and she sits on the edge of my bed nervously. I grin at her.

"Get in here." I say. She smiles broadly before getting in next to me.

I find that I can't go to sleep and Belle's eyes are fixated on me as if she's scared that if she closes her eyes I'll disappear.

I begin singing softly (the bedtime song we always sing to Marie) until both our eyes close.

ooo

The next morning I slowly open my eyes feeling refreshed. I look at the clock. It's seven thirty in the morning. I moan slightly and stretch my arms and legs. Belle stirs next to me.

"What time is it?" she asks groggily.

"Seven thirty."

"I guess it's too late to go to school then?" she asks hopefully.

"No…it's never too late. Wake Marie and get dressed. I want you both ready and down in half an hour. Today is the first day for the rest of our lives. We are not slacking."

Belle groans but lifts herself out of my bed. We're out the house by 8:45. I know we're going to be a bit late but I wrote notes for Belle and Marie and my colleagues at the hospital would be more interested in the cuts and bruises over my body.

"Love you." I said to both of them as I drop them at the school gates kissing their foreheads. For the first time in a long time Belle doesn't moan in embarrassment. I'm not sure if that's because there's hardly anyone there or because of last night but I like it.

"Love you back." They say before making their way into the building.

ooo

The day passes easily enough and before I know it, it's time to pick Marie up. It's a pleasant surprise when I see Belle and Marie both waiting for me at the school gates. Marie runs to me and I scoop her up in my arms before walking the rest of the distance to Belle. I wrap my spare arm around her and give her a small hug.

"And how was school for my angels today?"

Before they can answer I hear someone calling my name from behind me. Thinking it's one of the other Mum's or something I turn, Marie still in my arms.

It's Sirius.

"What are you doing here? I asked Dumbledore to..."

"I know what you wrote in the letter."

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask him again softly.

"You shouldn't have left the hospital. We were worried about you." I force myself to not roll my eyes at his words. He notices my clenched jaw.

"I know you think that we hate you." This time I can't help but scoff at his words.

"What? You're going to tell me that you don't. That the last three years of my life never happened…It's over Sirius…You don't have to pretend anymore. You got what you wanted. I fought…Voldemort's gone. Please just let me move on." I make to turn around when his voice stops me.

"I'm sorry for what I did and the way I acted. Not just two years ago but this time around too." I turn back to face him my eyes narrowing.

"You're too late. It's too late. I can't forgive you anymore…as much as I want to…I can't forget."

He looks at me with sad eyes. Eyes that I would have done anything for when we were back at Hogwarts but too much had changed and too much had happened.

"Please…" He says quietly. I look into his eyes as they bore into mine. I shake my head slowly before turning around and walking back to Belle. She looks at me when I came closer to her but doesn't walk with me. I stop and look back at her.

"You told me you wouldn't give up." She says.

"Belle…please…don't do this." I beg her quietly.

"I'm doing it for you. You can't guard yourself for the rest of your life. You can't shield your heart from everyone you'll ever meet."

"I can try." I reply back angrily.

"What? You're just going to go through life without loving anyone. You're just going to forget what it's like to love someone…to be loved."

"You don't understand…"

"I understand that you're giving up." She says angrily.

Why does she get to be mad at me?

"If you knew what happened…It hurt so badly that everyday I would cry myself to sleep wishing that my life wasn't happening. I wished that I would die so it would all be over. I'm scared. If I felt that again….I'm not sure I could take it. I'm not sure that I would be able to bounce back again and look after you and Marie. You two are the most important things. If I got hurt again….I'm not going to risk it."

"Love's about taking risks." She says softly so only I can hear. I look her in the eye.

"I took risks…..and look at where they got me…..can we please drop it…please." She looks at me through sad eyes before nodding. I take one last glance at Sirius before walking away. Why can't my past stop haunting me?

ooo

_Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I know this chapter is quite rubbish and small so I think I'll update the next one in three days so it'll be on tuesday! Keep an eye out! _


	12. The one with the apology II and Goodbyes

_I've put two chapters in one here because they were both quite short! Enjoy! _

ooo

I don't hear anything from Sirius or anyone else for the next two days. I dare to hope that he has given up on me and decided it would be best to leave me alone.

My hopes are dashed as I reach home that day. I open the front door and find Belle sitting on the steps. I haven't had a good day at work and it doesn't look like it's going to get any better.

"Why are you sitting here? Where's Marie?"

"Remember how she wanted chips a few days ago and we didn't give her any because the potatoes were non-existent…"

"Yes…" I reply getting a dreading feeling in my stomach.

"Remember what she said she would do?"

"Oh god." I breathe out as I fly into the sitting room.

Marie is standing on the sofa and in her hands is a mouse.

"You have got too be kidding me." I say when I it. Where the hell does she get these things from?!

"You promised me we could have chips and you didn't give me chips."

"Angel…..if you give me those mouse I promise you can have chips today." I say trying to bribe her. She shakes her head.

"I wanted chips before." She squeals. She immediately opens her arms and the mouse drops to the floor running right under the sofa.

"Marie Lily Corisi…..Naughty angel. No bedtime song today." I say dropping to the floor.

I catch sight of it and jerk my hand in that direction but Marie screams and it runs under the sofa.

I gave Marie my very best "I'm very angry with you right now look" but she giggles in my face.

SHE GIGGLES IN MY FACE.

Note to self; carrying on working on the face.

For the next two minutes every time I catch sight of it Marie screams making it scarper off before I can grab it. The house is going crazy. Marie is still giggling and squealing loudly. I'm yelling at Belle to help me and Belle is doing the most useful thing of all…shrieking from the doorway every time she catches sight of it.

I will not use magic. I will not use magic. I WILL NOT USE MAGIC.

In the midst of all of this I hear the doorbell ring.

"Oh great. Mrs Barns's probably wondering what the rackets about."

"Belle, make yourself useful and go answer the bloody door." She gives me a disdainful look before storming out of the room, just as Marie squeals again.

"Marie…..Stop making it run off and help me catch it now otherwise I swear there will be no chips…EVER." I threaten.

She gives me a terrified look before falling to her hands and knees and shuffles around the room saying "Mousey….nice mousey."

I hear Belle shut the door before she comes back to stand in the doorway.

"Who is it?" I ask. My back is to her and I'm still crouched down on the floor.

"It's for you."

"Oh for God's sake." I say lifting myself up of the floor and brushing off my uniform. I turn to face the door and my breath catches in my throat. Sirius is stood there leaning against the doorway.

"What are you doing here? Get out….What is your problem with the words Leave me alone?" I ask angrily.

"We need to talk."

"No, we bloody well don't. Leave."

"Please….two minutes."

"I don't have two minute right now."

"I can wait…"

"Let me rephrase. I don't have two minutes for you…EVER."

Something along the lines of hurt flashes across his face and I force the guilty feeling away.

He doesn't get to be the hurt one here damnit.

"I have nothing to say to you so can you please just leave me alone. I want to start over again without any reminders of the past…that includes you."

He doesn't reply and for the first time I realise that Belle and Marie are in the same room as us. I glance at them uncomfortably before pushing past Sirius trying my hardest not to touch him. I walk to the front door, open it and step outside. He joins me after two seconds.

ooo

"Why are you doing this?" I ask him quietly. "All I want is to forget everything that happened in the last few years and move on. I can't do that if I keep seeing you. Why can't you understand?" I breathe out softly.

"I know how much I hurt yo…" he starts.

"No you don't." I cut him off.

"If you knew, you wouldn't have said what you did. Do you even remember what you said to me everyday for months? How you treated me? I loved you….I thought you loved me back….You used to protect me from people who said that stuff to me and then you became one of them. Do you even remember?"

He hangs his head in shame and doesn't answer.

"Because I do. Those words would replay in my mind over and over again every night. I didn't deserve to live or I deserved to live on Earth forever alone as punishment. You wished Voldemort would kill me, that way I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again. Becoming a witch was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. It ruined my life. I met people that I'd wish I'd never met ever in my life………it tore me apart. I risked my life to protect you and everyone else, because I was stupid enough to think that when I did kill him you would forgive me for doing what I did, even if it was to protect you. You would all stop ignoring me, insulting me…hating me. I guess I asked for too much. I've risked too many things too many times for everyone else and look at where it got me. Hated by all…..treated worse than caught death eaters….alone, with no one else to help me when I needed it the most. I saved hundreds of thousands of people that night……kind of ironic when I realised that only one of them was willing to help me when I needed it. You were my family and yet you kicked me out of your lives. You might as well have kicked me out on the street. At least then I wouldn't have had to live with you and listen to you 24/7."

"I know that you'll never forgive us for what we did….you'll never forgive me for what I did but please believe me when I say that I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart."

"It doesn't matter whether or not I believe you. It's too late. All I feel when I look at anything magical is hatred and I can't change my opinion anymore. It's too late."

"I can change your opinion if you'll let me. You used to love the magical world. You used to love doing magic…Hogwarts……..me." I turn to look at him when he says that.

"Operative word being used to….not anymore." I look away from him.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have any feelings towards me anymore and I'll leave you alone."

"What's the point? You hate me anyway. It's pretty obvious."

"I don't hate you. I never did. I was angry. Angry at myself for letting you put yourself in so much danger by being a spy. Angry that I never apologised because I was scared of hurting you again. Angry at myself for killing the fire behind your eyes that I loved so much…..that I love so much."

"Don't…please." I whisper as tears start to leak out of my eyes.

He moves in front of me so my vision is blocked. All I can see is him in front of me. I cross my arms across my chest and look to the side and not into his eyes.

"How could I hate you? I love everything about you. Your eyes, I kept pushing you that day your house was broken into because I wanted to see the fire in them again. I wanted you to look at me like that again. I love your smile….. I love your hair. I love the way you stand up for the under-dog, even if it means you get hurt. I love the way you care about everyone else without even thinking about yourself. I love the way you put everyone's feelings or sometimes safety in front of yours. I love you because....you're the only one who's loved me back for me. You made me feel like I was the only person you needed to live. I love you."

I close my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling. I've been dreaming of the time when he would say these words to me. I thought that they could magically fix everything and it hurts to realise that they can't. This isn't a fairy story. It's reality. Happily ever after doesn't happen in reality. Fairy tales are just stories that haven't finished yet.

"Tell me you don't love me back." He challenges. I take in a deep breath of cold air as I open my eyes.

"It doesn't matter whether I love you or not…I don't trust you anymore. You promised me that you would never hurt me. You promised that you wouldn't break my heart." I whisper thickly.

He doesn't answer and the silence is interrupted by a particularly loud shriek from Belle.

"I have to go…..Please leave me alone." I manoeuvre around him and quickly run up the front steps and shut the front door.

ooo

"What did he want?" Belle asks.

"……Me……"

"And?"

"And nothing……it's too late. I don't trust him anymore." I say getting up and moving into the kitchen hoping the conversation will end. Belle follows me in.

"Look….I'm not one of his best fans in the world….personally I think he doesn't deserve you….but I can tell that he loves you. He has your key……you need to give him a chance to use it."

"He had the chance to use it three years ago…..and he used it for the worse. He doesn't get a try number two at making things worse."

"You always give people second chances…why not him?"

"Why are we arguing about this? If he did the things he did to you I would be telling you to tell him to piss off."

"Fine…..don't give him a second chance but give men in general a second chance."

"Will it shut you up if I say yes?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

I move out off the kitchen. I have a mouse to find.

ooo

The next morning in the post there are a bunch of plain white envelopes with the red stamp marking them to be private and confidential.

Oh God, final notices for the bills that I haven't paid in the last three weeks.

I groan.

Things are a little stretched right now that seeing how I only have one job….I was sacked from the restaurant after not showing up without calling them. I didn't really like working there in the first place but it was good money and it got the bills paid.

I stuff them into my bag, telling myself I'll open them later.

Later happens to be half an hour later as I make my way into the hospital. They seemed to be burning a hole in my bag so I'd finally opened them and am now mentally adding up the total that needs to be paid ASAP, when I bang into what I think to be a wall.

I look up startled. The wall is not a wall but a man. A man that is quite handsome I find myself noticing.

Oh my God. I just found myself attracted to someone else. I mentally do a little jig in celebration. It definitely helps that this guy looks nothing like Sirius with his brown eyes and blonde hair.

"Oh…I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." I say, bending down to pick up the bills that lay strewn across the floor.

"It's okay." He says and he bends down to help me.

"Thank you."

He flashes me a smile as he hands me the bills he picked.

"You're a nurse?" he says seeing the blue uniform under my coat.

"Yep. A&E." I reply.

"Oh…busy ward….they only take the best nurses in the hospital." It takes me two seconds to register that he's given me a compliment.

"Thanks." I smile back at him.

"Do you work here?" I ask.

"I'm replacing Doctor Logan." He says.

My stomach falls slightly.

"And that would make you my new boss." I say.

"Unfortunately….." he replies back.

There are rules that no-one dates anyone from the same ward they work in. They aren't official but everyone still abides by them. It's created too many problems when the couples break up or in a fight and sometimes affect patient care. It hasn't been any problem for me before but now I realise what I'll be missing out on. This guy is really nice.

"Well I'll see you around." I say politely.

"I guess so. I'll make sure you're the first one I come too if I need someone doing overtime." He says nodding his head to the bills in my hand.

I cringe a little in embarrassment.

"Thanks…but I think it'll take more than a few hours here and there."

He gives me a smile before we walk off in opposite directions. I look back at the bills in my hand. I seriously need a calculator.

"£1042.31…. £1042.31…..How can that be?" I exclaim to myself. The figure has been moving back and forth in my head all day. I put my head in my hands and rub my head wondering how the hell I can get this money by Friday. I need a job with a huge pay advance and I need it quickly.

ooo

I buy a newspaper on my way home and scour the job pages as I walk through the front door. A few have caught my eye but there is no way I can get enough pay to cover what I need. Belle hears me walk through the door and calls out my name.

"What is it?" she asks.

"We have a problem." I show her the bills.

"WHAT?!" she yells. "We can't pay this by Friday…..they're crazy."

"Crazy or not….we need to find a way to pay it back otherwise there going to cut us off on everything….gas…..electricity."

"I can't believe I didn't think about the bills when we ran." I say sitting on the stairs.

"It isn't your fault. You had more important things to worry about…..but what are we going to do?"

"I don't know angel……I need another job but there's nothing there….nothing that will pay enough anyway."

"I could get a job after school." Belle offers. I reject the idea straight away.

"No…you need to concentrate on your schoolwork. You have your GCSE's this year. I'll figure it out." I rub my head with my hand.

"Ummm. I guess this wouldn't be the best time then."

"The best time for what?" I ask her.

"The best time for me to tell you that when I came home Sirius was waiting by the door for you and I invited him in and he's waiting in the kitchen." She says in one long breath.

"WHAT?!" I yelp standing up

"You invited him in?" I ask her incredulously.

"Sorry." She says as she shrugs.

"Ugh….I can't deal with this right now." I move to the kitchen where I find him sitting at the kitchen table opposite Marie. She's looking at him with her scary eyes and he's sat their uncomfortably. As I walk in they both turn to look at me. Marie bounds towards me. I pick her up; give her a quick kiss before telling her to go play upstairs. Sirius stands up and I fold my arms in front of me.

"You have three seconds to get out before I call the police."

"Wait…please just listen to what I have to say."

"One….Two…." I interrupt him.

"You never did what I asked you to do yesterday." I stop counting and look at him my eyebrows knit together.

What is he talking about?

"I'll leave you alone like you want if you look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

I look at him and focus on the corner of his eyes.

"I don't love you." I say. He moves closer to where I'm standing and with one hand gently lifts my face until I have no choice but to look into his eyes directly.

"Tell me now."

"I….I don't…I love you."

I see his eyes light up.

"But it isn't enough. I learnt not to show my love because I was always disappointed at the end. If I didn't expect you to love me back….then when you insulted me I wasn't disappointed. If I didn't expect you to be there for me when I needed you…then I wasn't disappointed when you weren't."

He has to understand what I'm telling him.

"I loved you for all those months but all I got back was disappointments. I have better things to be worrying about in life then when or how you're going to disappoint me next. I have two younger sisters who depend on me. I have bigger problems in my life right now like trying to find one thousand pounds by Friday so we keep getting electricity and gas. I don't have time to waste explaining things like electricity to you. I don't have the time or energy to waste when you disappoint me….."

He looks set to fight back and I hurriedly continue.

"You're the great Sirius Black. One of the famous Marauders. You could get any girl that you wanted in the wink of an eye…you always could. I can't give anything to you. You don't want me or my problems……You can do so much better. Go and get yourself a nice witch…..someone who you can have a laugh with. Your twenty….you need someone who you can see the world with. I can't do that with you. You say you love me now but after a few months or years you'll realise what you've missed out on and you'll end up hating me. I don't want that……It's better this way. You'll find yourself a really nice girl and you'll forget all about me. I'll find myself a really nice job and carry on looking after Belle and Marie and eventually so much time will pass that we won't even recognise each other if we bumped into each other on the street. You'll go your way and I'll go mine." I'm blatantly lying but God, he has to go.

I can feel the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. He's looking at me with dead eyes and a wave of sadness passes over me.

"I don't understand….you love be you don't want to be with me. That isn't what love is."

"I don't believe in love anymore." I say quietly. I can't look at him anymore.

"Hypocrite." He says.

My eyes move to meet his to find him looking at me coldly. My brain is congratulating me saying that this is what I wanted him to say but my chest still tightens in pain.

"You're a hypocrite you know that….you spout out all this crap about expecting me to find some girl and falling in love with her and living happily ever after but when someone loves you, you push them away…breaking their heart in the process. Your right…I can get any girl I want and I will live happily ever after but you'll always be alone and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

His words echo in my head.

"When you left and joined Voldemort, James told me that you were nothing more than a cold-hearted bitch. I used to hit him when he said that….but he was right. You are one. You're a cold hearted bitch and you're going to have to live with the fact that you found love and you threw it away."

Tears fall thickly from my eyes and down my cheeks. He's standing in front of me and I want nothing more than tell him how much I love him…how much I want to spend every second of the rest of my life with him….but then I remember that I'm doing this for his own good.

If you really love someone you set them free…isn't that how the song went.

He pushes past me and I hear the front door slam shut. My chest heaves painfully. I try to stop crying but this just makes everything worse. All I can do is give in. I slide to the floor sobbing.

What had I just done?

He is right…I am alone. I have been for three years and I always will be.

I don't know when the tears finally stop. All I know is the empty feeling I have inside me. I pull myself up and wash my face, drying it with the hand towel. I take the potato peeler and start peeling them for dinner.

Cold hearted bitch…he had got it in one.

If that's what I have to be to ensure my family get what they need then so be it.

ooo

_Author's Note: Just a pre warning, the rest of the story will now be jumping forwards by a year. I've written it at the beginning of the next chapter but just in case you don't read it, I'll tell you know to save you some confusion! Please review! _


	13. The one with the Healers

**One year later.**

I had pushed myself and I was a nurse no longer. After a year's hard work I had finally earned the position of junior doctor. Life was better now…I was earning more money….Belle was in college and had a part-time job which helped me money wise if I ever needed it; not that I did but it felt nice to know that I had a safety net.

We were able to treat ourselves more and we were able to do more family type things like go out for dinner and go shopping. It was nice. The magical world had kept its promise…. I hadn't heard a thing from them in the last year and I had kept my promise to Belle. I had started dating again though I was careful not to fall in love.

The shield around my heart was beginning to break down slowly, but I wasn't sure if it would ever break down completely. I force myself not to think about Sirius….every time I do I just end up hurting.

It's coming towards the end of my shift. Last minute rounds and I will be able to leave…though I'm not looking forwards to the walk home in the pouring rain. I'm sitting in the nurses' station looking through my patients notes when a woman comes up to me. My first impression of her is that she's an airhead. She's tall, though not as tall as me; she has long blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her face is covered in make-up and she has a large forced looking smile on her face.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a Dr Corisi?" she asks nasally.

"That would be me." I reply.

"Oh…." She says looking me up and down.

"Can I help you with anything?" I ask again slightly put off at the way she's looking at me.

"Sorry…I thought Dr Corisi was a man."

I look down at myself unsure of what to say.

"Nope….I'm all woman, I promise." I laugh uncomfortably.

Well, what would you do if someone said they thought you were a man?

She laughs with me and carries on long after I've stopped.

"Official nutter." I think to myself.

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name's Tiffany Williams and I work as a secretary for St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries Public Affairs Department."

She sticks out a perfectly manicured hand with inch long talons.

"Sorry….What?" I stutter.

"St Mungo's Hos…"

"No I heard that. I mean what are you doing here?" She retracts the claws from in front of my face.

"I'm a secretary to Healer Harrison internationally recognised…"

"Yes I know who he is." I snap, cutting her off again.

"What does he want with me?" She gives me a look as if to suggest I'm the mud on the bottom of her designer shoe before she answers.

"Healer Harrison has recently become interested in Muggle practices of healing and he would like to meet up with you to discuss some techniques that are used in the Muggle world."

I stand speechless.

When I was at Hogwarts, Healer Harrison was my role model. He was one of the reasons I wanted to become a healer.

"How does he know about me?"

"You are one of the few people who know about the magical world and works as a Doctor is it? Plus you were apparently praised highly by an old friend of his." She looks at me again as if she's trying to find what there is to be praised about.

I don't know what to do or say. I'd told myself I would stay away from all things magical but this was too good an opportunity to miss. Healer Harrison was one of the most renowned Healers in magical history and he had personally picked me, albeit with a little help from his friend but still. I feel my resolve slipping.

"I would love to meet him. When does he want to meet?" I ask her.

"I have a list of appropriate times with me. If you tell me the one that suits you the most I will arrange a meeting." She hands me a list of dates and times. I scan them quickly. The one that catches my eye is one for tomorrow at seven in the evening.

Perfect.

"I'll take tomorrow at seven." I say to the secretary. She makes a quick note in a pink diary and I had to force myself not to laugh at the pink fluffy pen she's using. She looks at me for a second regarding me.

"Yes, was there anything else?" I ask her.

"I assume you can make your own way there because I was told of no instructions on how you should get there."

"I can make my own way." I tell her. She gives me a fleeting look before saying a quick see you tomorrow before walking off.

ooo

I'm in a daze as I do my evening rounds and walk home. I would be meeting my all time idol. Healer Harrison. _Healer Harrison. _I can't wait. A small bit of fear mixes with my excitement as I think about what will happen if I see anyone that I know, but I push those thoughts aside.

What would any of them be doing in a hospital on a Saturday evening at seven? I wouldn't bump into anyone surely.

I was going to meet Healer Harrison.

I'm on a permanent high all through the next day. I find myself smiling randomly during work. I leave work a little later than I'd planned. One of my patients is in a particular morbid mood and I have to convince him that he is getting better and he is not dying. I have a feeling I'm going to be late for my appointment and I chastise myself.

ooo

I enter St Mungo's at a few minutes past seven and by the time I find Healer Harrison's office I'm a full ten minutes late. I enter his office and find the prissy secretary sitting behind a desk. She looks at me from head to toe as I enter. I know I look a little messy. I had planned on going home and changing but I didn't have time so I came straight away. Hell…I'm even wearing scrubs as a patient had an unfortunate accident on my clothes.

"Sorry…..I'm late."

"It's fine." She says in a voice making it clear to me that it is absolutely not fine.

"I'll tell him you're here."

It turns out I had to wait another ten minutes anyway as one of his meetings was over running. Take that stupid secretary I think as we sit there in silence. The door to his office opens and I feel a burst of excitement and nervousness in my stomach. It flips when I see him standing by the door, shaking hands with each person as they leave the room. Finally he turns to me and smiles. I smile back as I stand.

"You must be Dr Corisi." He says.

"And you must be Healer Harrison." I say back shaking his hand.

"I've heard a lot about you." We say at the same time. I hold my breath but let it out as he starts laughing heartily.

"You know. I like you already." He says showing me to his office.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

"I'll take some water if I can." I say. He smiles and turns to Miss Williams.

"Water for the lady and a cup of tea for me please." He says smiling warmly at me.

I see Miss Williams give me a look of contempt as she gets our drinks. He sits down on one of the chairs in the office and I sit down opposite him.

"Looks like in the Muggle world things are just as hectic as they are here." he says indicating towards my scrubs.

"Yes….sorry about that but I had a patient I had to deal with before I could leave. I didn't get a chance to go home and get changed." I explain.

"Oh no…don't apologize. I like too see a person who cares so much about their work and patients." I smile. Miss Williams comes in and sits our drinks down.

"I understand you were interested in finding out more about Muggle medical techniques."

"Yes….I have to say that the Muggle medical world does fascinate me."

"Well, I'd love to offer my services in whatever way helpful." I say to him. We talk continuously for the next hour and a half. Well, it was more of me talking whilst he listens, fascinated with every word that comes out of my mouth. It's a shock when I realised it's 8:45. I hadn't realised time could pass so quickly.

"Oh dear….I wish we didn't have to stop. I would love to hear more. I am completely amazed at how they get by without the use of magic or potions."

"I would be happy to stay for a while longer." I say.

"And I would love you to stay a little longer but unfortunately I must leave now otherwise my daughter gets a little annoyed with me." He nods his head to the door.

"Miss Williams is your daughter?" I ask not being able to keep the surprise out of my voice.

"Actually she is my step-daughter. I married her mother five years ago. Remarkable woman. It's a shame the same genetics didn't pass on, if you know what I mean." He smiles knowingly at me. I smile back politely but inside I'm laughing.

"I would love to see you another time. Maybe you could come over to my house for dinner one evening and we could talk more then."

"Oh no…really I couldn't impose."

"Don't be silly. My wife would love to have you over. She's always complaining that I bring the same boring people home to dinner all the time. You would be a breath of fresh air."

"I'm not sure…" I say.

"Now, I won't take no for an answer." I laugh.

"If you insist."

"Brilliant. How does tomorrow sound."

"Tomorrow sounds brilliant."

"Great I'll tell Marjorie."

"Please tell her not to go to any trouble on my account."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all. She loves having a reason to cook." He says as we step out of his office and into the waiting area where Miss Williams is waiting.

"I'll see you tomorrow evening then." He says giving me his address.

"Tomorrow?" Tiffany asks. We both turn to face her.

"Dr Corisi has kindly accepted my offer of joining us for dinner." She turns to glare at me.

Well isn't someone a little jealous. All though I have no idea why.

"Dinner?"

"Yes, she is kind enough to grace us with her presence albeit after some insistence."

"Great." She says in an obvious fake happy voice.

"I can invite my boyfriend over." She says challenging me. I laugh inwardly at her attempts to get one over on me but I simply smile politely. Her face falls when she realises that what she said had no impact on me.

"Great, the more the merrier." He says. I go home pleased and happy like a little girl on Christmas Morning.

ooo

The next evening I can say that the excitement has been 100% replaced by nervousness.

What the hell am I'm supposed to wear?

Casual…..formal…..trousers…..jeans…..a dress (which I don't even own).

I leave work early and rush home. I'm in desperate need of Belle's help. Throughout the walk home I'm praying that she's actually at home and not out.

I told her this morning where I was going and after assuring her a hundred times that I was fine with having contact with the magical world again after such a long time she finally came around to the idea.

I open the front door and practically shout out her name as I step inside.

"What?" she says as she comes running out of the kitchen.

Okay maybe I could have done with putting a little less urgency into my voice.

"What am I supposed to wear tonight?"

"You screamed by name to ask me what I think you should wear tonight? I almost cut myself on the bloody knife!"

I take of my shoes and move to hug her quickly.

"Sorry." I move back but keep my hands on her shoulders.

"What am I supposed to wear tonight though?" I ask again, slightly shaking her so she can comprehend the urgency of the situation.

She rolls her eyes and moves away from me. This is not time for eye-rolling. That's not an answer I can actually use! I follow her into the kitchen.

"Well?"

"Hold on, I'm thinking."

Five seconds later. How long does it take for her to think of something like this? I ignore the fact that I'm been thinking about it all day and still haven't come up with a solution.

"Belle" I press.

"Definitely a dress." She says coming to the conclusion that I was most afraid off.

"I don't have a dress!" my voice is slowly rising as I start to freak out.

"Stop freaking out." She says. Bloody hell, is she psychic?

"No, I'm not psychic….it's written all over your face. So relax. I'll call Julie over. She's got tons of dresses that you can borrow."

Ten minutes later it's pretty apparent that fact that I've now got a choice of tons of dresses, finding the right one is going to take forever.

Despite my nervousness at being late I actually have fun trying on all the dresses. Don't get me wrong. I am girly. But not that girly that I own a dress.

It takes a while but we finally find the perfect one. It's a black dress made out of what feels like silk. It has thin straps for my shoulder and dips in and out so it gracefully shows off my curves.

Julie thrusts a green silk scarf at me and I tie it around my neck. Two minutes to slap on some eyeliner and mascara and I'm done.

"Thank You so much Julie." I say as I put my coat on.

"No problem." She says.

"Belle, make sure Marie goes to sleep on time and check her homework. Make sure you finish that Chemistry coursework that's due Monday."

"Yeah, yeah." She says as she pushes me out of the house.

"Stop thinking about my Chemistry coursework and go have a good time. I'll see you later."

ooo

It takes me 40 minutes to reach Healer Harrison's house and when I do I'm so glad that I wore a dress and not a pair of jeans. His house is huge! A house elf takes my coat and shows me to the room where there are 15 or so people standing around talking to each other.

I scan the room feeling a little out of place and self conscious until I catch sight of Healer Harrison. He strides towards me smiling warmly. I internally sigh with relief.

"Dr Corisi. I'm so glad you're here. Looking lovely as usual."

"I think anything's an improvement on what you saw yesterday." I say. "Your house is beautiful."

He waves the compliment away with his hand.

"Now, let me introduce you to some friends of mine. I hope you don't mind but when I mentioned that I was having dinner with you they were immediately interested as well."

"Oh no, that's fine. Like you said the more the merrier." I lie.

I actually feel a little intimidated as we walk up to the group of important looking people but when Healer Harrison introduces me to them they're all really nice people. They bombard questions at me and I take it in turn to answer them while they listen intently.

I'm in the middle of telling them how stitches work when I see Miss Williams enter the room. A scowl passes over her features as she realises no-one has noticed her. She walks towards us purposefully.

"Oh _Dr _Corisi. How nice of you to make it."

"It's nice of you to have me." I reply back politely.

She just looks at me for two seconds in silence. I'm starting to feel awkward again when a large doorbell noise breaks the silence.

"Oh, that'll be my boyfriend." She says nasally. I just smile back as she walks to the door.

"Don't mind her." Says Healer Banks. "She's just jealous that there's someone prettier than her in the room tonight."

I smile back politely and we carry on talking about stitches as is we were never interrupted.

I had no clue how interesting stitches could be. Every little thing I say makes them gasp and sometimes cringe as I tell them we literally use a needle and special dissolvable silk to sew the skin back together.

I don't notice Tiffany walk back into the room until she calls Healer Harrison from behind me. He excuses himself and goes off to be the dutiful host to his step-daughter and her ever so important boyfriend.

I'm having a great time talking to the Healers when I hear someone say Hogwarts. I carry on talking but my mind is ticking of a list of people who could be Miss Williams's boyfriend. Healer Harrison had told me last night that Miss Williams had gone to Beauxbatons Academy in France.

He joins us again after a few minutes just in time to gasp with the others when I tell them about organ donations and transplants. They all smiled excitedly and I feel a warm glow go through my body.

These people are actually interested in what I have to say. _Me!_

"Daddy, aren't you going to introduce us." Tiffany interrupts from behind me. All I can see of her is her pink dress and I can smell her sickly overpowering perfume.

"Why yes of course dear. I believe you know my colleagues already and you met this charming young lady yesterday I believe…..Sirius I would like you to meet our guest of honour Dr Corisi."

I freeze before whipping my head around. My eyes widen.

He's Tiffany's boyfriend.

Of course he is, because nothing in my life can be that simple can it?

I can feel my heart starting to beat wildly. Sirius is staring at me in shock too. I recover first.

I stick my hand out and mutter a quick "Nice to meet you."

He touches my hand for a second but it's a second too long. I feel warmth from his hand shoot up my arm. I quickly pull my hand back and place it by my side. No one seems to notice the interaction between us, though Miss Williams is smiling smugly.

"Let us continue our conversations whilst eating. I believe dinner's ready…After you my dear." Healer Harrison says to me guiding me to the table in another room. He sits me down on one corner and sits himself at the head. The other healers arrange themselves around me. His wife is opposite me, Tiffany next to her and Sirius next to her. I keep my eyes firmly in front of me on my plate and don't let them wander.

After a quick introduction of myself to Healer Harrison's wife dinner is brought out. It's a little awkward to begin with but then once we begin talking again I feel the awkwardness slip away. Most of the healers are still listening to me with rapt attention, whilst others discuss what I'm talking about amongst themselves.

"Fascinating….simply fascinating that Muggles are so generous as to give their vital organs to someone else to help them…..There's none of that in the Wizarding world."

This is followed by general noises of agreement from the other healers.

"What I was wondering was how Muggles get by without using Blood-replenishment Potions….We go through cauldrons of the potion every day." Asks a healer who is unfortunately sitting next to Sirius so I'm forced to look that way.

"We have a system of blood donations." I say.

"Muggles donate their blood too?" asks Healer Harrison.

"Yes, there are hundreds of blood banks set up around the country. There's a few in each hospital. Whoever is willing to donate can and their blood is stored according to what type they are. Like I said each hospital has its own bank so when a patient needs blood it is simply brought to them attached to them through a tube and in it goes."

"And what if the hospital doesn't have the specific blood type. I hear some blood types in the muggle world are rarer than others."

"Yes, my blood type AB negative is the rarest. If one hospital doesn't have it in stock then it is simply brought over by another hospital by people called volunteer motorcyclists. It's their job to get blood from one place to another quickly. Like I said not many Muggles have an AB negative blood type so it isn't needed much but I make sure the hospital has some stored away in case."

"You mean to say you donate blood?"

"Yes, anyone who is willing can. I donate a pint every month." There are gasps of astonishment from around the table.

"Now that gives taking care of your patients a whole new meaning." He laughs. I smile at him.

"Personally I think that is disgusting." My smile falls slightly and I turn to face Tiffany.

"Pardon…" I say confused.

"I said that I think the system is disgusting. What if the Muggle has a disease? It could easily be passed on to someone else." She shudders.

My eyes flick to Sirius and I find him staring at me. I quickly avert my eyes back to her.

"The blood is thoroughly checked for any diseases it may carry. If it does contain anything then it is disposed of. We don't still use it." I say slightly amused. She's seriously thick

"It's still disgusting." My temper begins to rise. I know she's entitled to her opinion but it's so wrong.

"Well, if you think you can come up with a better system I would love to hear it." She doesn't answer and I smile slightly in triumph. She gives me a clear look of disgust and I raise my eyebrows.

This woman has real problems.

"How much do you get?"

"Sorry?" I ask, wondering if I'm the only one confused.

"I said….how much do you get?"

"Get for what?"

"Giving blood"

"It's a donation. It's voluntary." She carries on looking at me weirdly.

"I don't get paid anything." I have to force myself not too put on my condescending voice.

"Well then…I don't see how it's worth it then."

Did she just really say that?

"Saving lives may not be important or worth it to you, but it means a lot to me and to the other millions that give blood…It's my job. If giving a pint of blood, which I recover in about half an hour anyway, can save someone's life, I think it's worth it."

There's silence around the table and I start to feel bad for partly causing it.

"Well my dear you certainly have me convinced." Says Healer Harrison. He smiles at me and shoots a warning glance at Tiffany.

"Me too." Says Healer Banks. The other Healers around the table nod their heads in agreement and I smile back at them politely.

I notice Tiffany's scowl deepen.

"This is all so fascinating. Now I know why you chose to become a Doctor instead of a Healer."

I smile uncomfortably knowing full well that isn't the reason and flick my gaze back to Sirius. Our eyes meet for a second before I look down at my plate.

"Sirius and I are engaged." Tiffany shouts suddenly. My head flies back up to them.

Sirius is looking at her shocked before he turns to look at me.

He's getting married……He's getting married. Oh my God, he's getting married……

A little voice in my head adds "and it's not to me" at the end of the sentence.

ooo

Author's Note: Please review and let me know what you thought


	14. The one with the blonde lapdog

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! **

ooo

"Ummm, congratulations?" I manage to say.

Tiffany glares at me smugly. I move my gaze to Sirius and his eyes bore into mine.

"When's the wedding?" I ask still looking at him.

"We haven't decided yet but I don't see how it affects you." She says. I look back at her.

"Sorry?"

"I don't see how it affects you. I don't want you there on the happiest day of my life."

Wow

"Tiffany." Say Healer Harrison and his wife angrily. I cut them off before they can say anything else. I'm starting to feel guilty though I have no idea why.

I'm being polite. She's being the bitch.

"Humph" Tiffany lets out. Healer Harrison starts turning red with anger.

I think it's time I left. I look back down at my plate feeling embarrassed that I'm leaving in the middle of dinner. I can't stay here anymore.

"If you have any more questions I would love to meet up with you and answer them. That goes for any of you." I say to the Healers. "Maybe you could all come by the hospital to see how things work for yourselves."

"Thank you for the generous offer. I will be in touch soon." Healer Harrison says to me his eyes apologetic. I thank God that he doesn't insist I stay.

"Thank you for having me tonight. I hope I wasn't too much trouble." I say, my eyes glancing towards Tiffany who is still sitting in her chair smiling at me smugly.

"You were no trouble at all. Thank you very much for coming." Says Healer Harrison's wife. I smile back at her.

I look at Tiffany again, this time holding her gaze.

"Congratulations again." I force the words out of my mouth. She gives me another small humph like noise as a response.

"Would you like too use the Floo? You hear dreadful things about Muggle transport."

"Oh no, I'll be fine. Don't worry"

I want to run out of the room. I share one last look at Sirius before leaving the room. As I walk away I can hear Healer Harrison and his wife reprimanding Tiffany as if she's a child.

He's getting married.

I know it shouldn't bother me but it does. My chest pangs painfully.

It's a relief to step out into the cold air. I breathe in deeply before walking down the street. I glance at my watch. It's nearing ten. There's silence as I walk down the dark street towards the train station. I just want to go home and sleep in my bed.

ooo

I get home at quarter to eleven and I'm frozen. The kitchen light is on and I walk in.

"What time do you call this?" Belle asks mocking me.

"Sorry mother."

"Hmmmm" she says in a suspicious tone. I laugh at her.

"So…how was it?"

"Interesting." I reply. She looks at me confused. I explain and slowly the look on her face is replaced with disgust.

"Bloody hell, someone needs to learn some manners."

"Tell me about it…It was really hilarious though."

"And Sirius's really going to marry her. Idiot. He loved you, I would think he had better taste but I guess he went back to being his old self."

I stop laughing and turn serious as I think about what Belle has just said. The Sirius I knew is gone.

"I guess." We talk for around half an hour before I have to go to sleep. My brain is completely fried.

ooo

I don't hear anything from Healer Harrison or anyone else for two days. I'm not surprised to find myself disappointed. I loved talking to all of them and I would loved to have seen their faces when they saw how a Muggle hospital worked.

Oh well.

It had been a dream come true meeting Healer Harrison. I mean how many people can say that they have met their idol let alone had a decent conversation with them and dinner.

I don't get much time to think about them much over the next two days.

There had been some oil-depot fire and the patients were pouring in. I'm on my way to see a patient who needs urgent surgery when I see Miss Williams waiting for me at the front desk looking very out of place.

The first thought that comes to mind is why she's here and the second thought is whether or not she will realise if I leave her…but then I realise how pathetic that makes me and I walk up to her.

"Can I help you?" I say standing behind her. She turns around and looks at me. I imagine what I look like compared to her, who is for some reason wearing party clothes.

"Yes, Daddy wanted to take you up on the offer you made about him and his friends visiting the hospital." She is about to carry on talking when I notice a nurse walking towards me.

"Excuse me" I say to her as I push past her and lean over the nurses' desk looking through the piles of notes on the table. I grab the one I need before standing up straight.

"I'll be two seconds"

I run up to catch the nurse. "Tracy..." she turns.

"Yes Dr Corisi."

"Can you check if any surgeries are free yet? Mr Kay needs to get in A.S.A.P. This is his file."

"I'll go and check for you."

"Thanks Tracy. I owe you one." I say before moving back to where Tiffany is standing looking annoyed.

"Sorry about that but what were you saying."

Just as she opens her mouth a beep goes off. I turn my head around and run to Mr Kay's bed.

His heart has stopped.

I run towards his bed and push the button on top of it before lowering it. I pull the pillow out from under his head before pushing it into the person behind me. I don't realise that person is Tiffany.

"We need a crash cart in here stat." I yell.

Immediately nurses begin running to the bed. I take my pen torch and shine it into his eyes.

I need Epinephrine. I turn around and bang straight into Tiffany. I move one way and she moves the same way.

"Get away from the damn bed." I yell.

She immediately scoots away.

What is her problem? This guy is dying…it isn't damn entertainment.

I pull open the drug cupboard and scan it, running my hands quickly over the labels muttering. Finally I find the right draw. I pull it open, grab what I need and move back to the bed. I rip the needle case with my teeth and syringe the drug quickly before administrating it to him.

My hands move to his chest and I start pressing down on his chest hard.

"Where's the crash cart." I yell again. Out of the corner of my eye I see it being wheeled towards me.

"Charge to 200." I say taking hold of the paddles.

"Charged to 200"

"Clear." I yell and everyone moves away from the bed. Mr Kay's body jumps upwards but the flat line can still be heard.

"Charge to 360…Clear."

Still no change.

"Charge to 360 again…Clear."

I hit his chest before turning back to the machine. A small beep comes up. I put the paddles back on the machine.

"See if theatres are free. Intubating now."

Come on Tom. Don't you dare die on me.

I grab the equipment and push the tube into his mouth.

"What the hell is she doing?" I hear Tiffany yelp.

I'm still trying to get the tube down his throat.

"She's crazy Sirius, she's crazy. Muggles are all crazy."

Huh? Sirius is here?

"Shut up." I hear him yell. I want to see the look on her face but I have to concentrate on what I'm doing.

Yes! I push the tube through and tie it to the bag.

"Get him up to theatre now." I say to Tracy.

"Dr Corisi there's none free. Dr Khan is on the phone." I move back to the nurse's station. Tiffany opens her mouth to speak but I grab the phone and cut her off.

"Dr Khan…when was your patient put on the list…my patient was put on 2 hours ago. I get first priority. I don't care what your patient has you can't just take my theatre slot if it's not an emergency. That isn't how it works. My patient has been critical since he came in. His heart just stopped. I get the damn theatre." I say before slamming the phone down. God, I hate Dr Khan.

"Theatre's free." I say loudly.

The nurses who were waiting anxiously around me smile before rushing to Tom's bed and wheeling it into the lift.

I turned back to Sirius and Tiffany.

"Tell Healer Harrison that I would love to show him and his colleagues around. Maybe they could come next Friday, there's a fundraiser happening in the evening that they might enjoy." I tell her, completely ignoring Sirius.

She looks at me blankly.

"You said that guy's heart just stopped." She says in a small voice.

"Ummm, yes" I reply.

"But then he came back to life?"

"Ummm, yeah." I ask confused.

She doesn't say anything but just stares at me blankly. I turn to look at Sirius my eyebrows raised. He's looking at me but when I turn to face him he quickly looks at Tiffany. I feel a blush creep up my face. He doesn't say anything either. I start to get annoyed.

"Look I have a lot of people to see and a lot of things to do. Is there something you wanted or are you just here to purposefully waste my time?"

"She's here to ask you whether it's okay for her father and his colleagues to come and visit here." Sirius says back angrily. This only increases my annoyance levels.

"She already asked me and I believe I just answered. Was there something else?" I say through gritted teeth. He stares at me before shaking his head.

"Well then I'll be off." I can feel Sirius's eyes burning holes at the back of my head. This makes me smile and for some reason I want to make him even madder.

I turned back around.

"Oh Sirius. Before I forget, congratulations again on the wedding. I'm sure you and your…blonde lapdog…I mean fiancée will have a nice life together." I smile as I see his eyes flash at me dangerously. I turn around and begin to walk away.

Yes, yes, I know it's pathetic. But at that moment in time I really don't care how lame I look or sound.

I'm about to walk through a set of doors when someone grabs my arm and pushes me into a store cupboard. I stumble backwards tripping over a box and a broom handle.

"What the hell." I exclaim. Sirius's face looms dangerously over mine and I look back up in defiance.

ooo

_Author's Note: I know it's short so I'll be updating on Wednesday! Please review! Also I'm sorry if the medical stuff isn't right!_


	15. The one with the invitation

ooo

"Take it back." Sirius says angrily.

"Take what back." I say innocently smiling. His jaw clenches.

"What you said about her."

"Oh…I'm sorry. My mistake. I thought that she was your fiancée after her little jealous outburst at dinner."

"I meant what you said about her being a blonde lapdog."

"What? Does the truth hurt?" I shoot back.

He doesn't answer and I, thinking I've won, begin to manoeuvre around him. I reach for the door handle but he whacks my hand away and pulls me back to where I was standing originally. I stumble backwards and this time, actually fall onto a box.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I say looking up at him. I feel the fire burn behind my eyes. I know he's seen it too as something flickers behind his eyes. It's gone when I look again.

He moves his body downwards placing his hands on the box either side of me. I move backwards as far as I can until my head hits the wall. His face carries on moving closer.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm starting to get a little intimidated at the way he's looking at me.

I hold my breath as his face comes centimetres away from mine but it then moves to the side.

"Still the same cold hearted bitch I see." He whispers into my ear.

I feel my skin tingle from his breath and memories of that night a year ago come flooding back. I force the tears that spring to my eyes not to flow. I take in a deep breath. He moves his face back until it is half a foot in front of mine. I meet his gaze trying my hardest not to get lost in his deep grey eyes.

"Still the same pathetic jerk, running around after anything with blond hair and a pulse I see." I manage to choke out.

"I seem to remember running around after you, but you don't have blond hair or a pulse. To have a pulse you need a heart. Something which you lack." I smile at his barb and make to stand up, forcing him to move backwards.

"I seem to remember you telling me you would never go for a blonde again, but I guess I forgot the fact that everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie."

He stares at me and I stare at him. I keep my eyes open for as long as I can without blinking. Suddenly something on me vibrates loudly and I jump breaking the eye contact.

Damn it! I lost.

I look down dazed for a second before I realise it's my pager. I take it out of my pocket and narrow my eyes to read it. I need to go and see Dr Khan. I put the pager back in my pocket.

"As much as I would love to stay here and argue aimlessly with you about your recently acquired pets and the colour of their fur, I must go and do my job. So if you'll excuse me it seems I must now go and argue aimlessly with someone else. It's been a pleasure." I open the door and step back out into the corridor.

"Have fun playing with your new dog" I close the door and walk away quickly before he can answer.

ooo

Over the next few days I get quite a few letters from various Healers wondering about the strangest things at the most annoying times. I answer them not wanting to keep them waiting and I have to say that their excitement over Friday is rubbing off on me. When I told them that there was going to be a talent contest to raise money for the hospital I could almost see their excited faces from their letters.

The day comes quickly; unfortunately I was working the late shift so I wasn't able to get to the event until around 9….it started at 7. I told the Healers that their table was booked. To my pleasant surprise Healer Harrison's wife was also coming and to my horror so were Tiffany and Sirius. When I heard that I was thankful that I was working late. It meant I'm being spared 2 hours of being in their company.

I can see the marquee from the ward windows and for some strange reason I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I put it down to nerves…most of the doctors are doing a talent act if they haven't managed to raise £200 or more.

I had gracefully declined in performing anything, preferring not to make a fool of myself in front of everyone but I had raised £400 thanks mainly to Belle and Julie, two small school uniforms and boxes of chocolate chip cookies.

I finish my last minute rounds, change into my casual cream dress courtesy of Julie and make my way down to the event. It's pretty easy to find where the Healers are sitting because as soon as they see me they all start waving me over. I make my way over smiling at them.

Introductions are made for the people I didn't meet at the dinner party and there are re-introductions for the people I did…this includes a polite nod of the head at Tiffany and a smirk at Sirius while he gives me a quick glare.

My mind quickly drifts back to the conversation we had and I smile.

ooo

The evening is going really well, everyone is having fun laughing at the hospital staff on stage and the money total is forever raising which is great for the hospital.

I'm drinking wine out of my glass when I hear my name being called to come onto the stage. I choke and look up to see Tracy standing there with a microphone in her had.

I look at her in shock and she smirks back at me before explaining to everyone there, that I've raised a significant amount of money but it apparently does not get me out of not doing a talent.

"A doctor in A&E tells me that you're quite the singer." I turn my head and glare at Sam. We had decided to break the "rules" and date a while ago but decided we were better as friends. He had overheard me singing to Marie before we went out on our last date.

"The doctor in A&E is lying. Believe me." I shout back.

"Oh come now, Dr Corisi. It's all for a good cause….." she says smiling encouragingly. I smile back shaking my head.

"Let's hear the price for getting Dr Corisi to sing. Come on who'll start me."

Dear God, come Monday I'm going to kill her! But for now all I can do is glare uselessly.

People in the crowd start shouting out figures; they start at small amounts but stop when Sirius randomly shouts out £2000. Tracy sells to him as I look at him in shock.

"What are you doing? Do you even know how much that is? Are you crazy?"

"Well, it's for a good cause isn't it?" He says innocently.

I narrow my eyes at him but his face doesn't change. I see Tracy making her way to me and I look back at Sirius. This time he's looking at me with an evil smile on his face.

The jerk…he's getting revenge.

"I hate you." I say to him in his mind.

His expression doesn't change but he raises his eyebrows challengingly. I'll show him. I grab the microphone from Tracy and walk back to the stage.

"You're not getting out of this that easily." I grab hold of her as she makes to move away.

She smiles widely at me as we make our way onto stage. I pick a song with the musicians while Tracy announces that she wants everyone up and in front of the stage for a romantic slow dance.

When no-one moves she threatens them by saying that we won't sing unless there are people dancing.

I'm sorry, did she just say that we _won't _be singing if people don't get up and dance? I look over at the crowd and will them to keep their bums on their seats.

Unfortunately couples start to get up, including Healer Harrison and his wife followed by Tiffany and Sirius. The music starts playing and the couples start swaying gently. Tracy decides she'll be a backing singer leaving me in charge of the main vocals.

Did I mention I'm going to kill her on Monday?

I start singing and it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The people dancing on the floor are just swaying away to the music, whilst the people still sat at tables watch them. To be more specific all the females in the vicinity watch them with longing eyes and most of the males in the area keep their eyes locked on something, anything, so they won't accidentally look their dates in the eyes and have to ask them to dance.

I look at the couples dancing in front of me and my eyes lock onto Sirius. He looks straight at me and holds my gaze. I try and look somewhere else but my eyes don't move. My mouth is still forming words and it feels like I'm singing only to him.

A minute later another doctor blocks my view and I snap out of my trance and look away ashamed. I see the doctor and his partner move out of the way again and out of the corner of my eye and can see Sirius's head still faced my way but I don't dare glance that way again.

The song finishes and people start to clap wildly.

Oh god, now they are looking at me! Quick get of the stage now!

I quickly take a mock bow with Tracy before hurrying back to my seat. The rest of the night passes by in a flash of laughter, money and fun.

I try to avoid looking at Sirius but it's difficult seeing as we're practically sitting at the same table and the two times that he does catch my eye I feel embarrassed and from the heat that assaults my face I know its flushed.

This isn't fair. I don't even like him anymore! He and Tiffany deserve each other, so why do I feel so dirty whenever I look at him like I'm doing something incredibly wrong.

Why does my body still react the way it used to when I was with him? I don't want this happening. It isn't fair.

ooo

The evening finally ends at 12:30 in the morning and I lead the Healers and their families to a room where they can safely apparate from.

"How are you planning on getting home dear?" Healer Harrison asks me.

"Oh, the buses should still be running for another half hour. If not I'll just get the night bus." I say. A look of pure horror appears on the face of him and his wife.

"Muggle transport at this time. No, no that won't do. I've heard awful stories recently about all sorts happening. You can side-along apparate with us."

"Oh, no please. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Now dear don't be silly…..Tiffany will come with us and Sirius will gladly drop you off home. I'm sure you must be tired."

"NO." I say a little too quickly and a little too loudly.

"Really, there's no need to put your selves out…" I say hoping they'll just let me leave.

"No I absolutely insist." His wife says.

I open my mouth to respond again but Healer Harrison opens his quicker.

"I insist too…I'm sure Sirius doesn't mind do you?" he says.

"No, it would be my pleasure."

"I'm sure it would be." I growl in his mind. His polite smile turns into an actual one.

"Well that's settled then. We had a tremendous time tonight. We'll see you soon I hope."

"Yes, that would be great." I smile back and with a blink of an eye they're gone leaving me and Sirius alone.

ooo

There's silence in the room for ten seconds. Sirius stares at me and I stare at my feet, the painting on the wall, the door, the ceiling before looking back at the door.

Well, time to go.

I walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks. I turn to face him.

"Oh, please, you think I'm actually going to let you drop me. The bus is fine. I can handle myself…Anyway, I always hated Apparation."

I open the door but Sirius grabs by hand with his and before I can say anything to stop him I feel the horrible feeling of going through a tight tube as he apparates us away. I land on the doorstep at home heavily, my legs buckling slightly. Sirius immediately wraps his hands around my waist to stop me from falling.

Oh my, move backwards, move backwards, move backwards! This is way to close for us to be with each other.

I make the mistake of looking into his eyes for a second before I quickly look down and move backwards. His hands move from around my waist and he stuffs them into his pockets as if he didn't trust them.

"Well thanks I guess." I say turning the key in the door and opening it.

"What you're not going to invite me in…that's a first." I scoff.

"Firstly, no I'm not going to invite you in and secondly I think you'll find I never wanted you to invite you in…other people seemed to do it without asking me, therefore it isn't a first."

I'm met with silence while Sirius stares at the door behind me.

"Well if you excuse me, I'm tired so Goodnight…sorry if I sound rude, actually scratch that, I don't care...I think I speak for both of us when I say that hopefully we'll never see each other again."

He looks at me with an expression on his face that I can't make out. The silence is broken by a group of loud teenagers walking by. They see Sirius and I standing close at the front door and whistle suggestively.

I look at Sirius uncomfortably before muttering a quick goodbye to him and closing the door. It's dark inside and I stub my little toe on something as I make my way to turn on the light.

Have you ever noticed that it's the small injuries that hurt more than the large ones.

I turn back to look at what I banged myself on and see a Cranberry juice carton sitting on the floor by the door.

Belle. She hates throwing stuff away in the bin so she leaves it by the front door as if to remind me that it does infact need to be chucked away. I groan in annoyance before sliding my throbbing toe back into my shoe and opening the front door.

I gasp as I bang into Sirius's chest.

"I thought you left."

"Nope…I'm still here." I roll my eyes at him before moving around him and skipping down the front steps to the bin. As I turn to go back inside Sirius is still standing there on the doorstep.

"What are you still doing here?" I ask. He ignores me.

Well what else is new?

"Did you not here me when I said I don't want to see you again." Maybe if I get angry he'll leave?

"I heard you, but that doesn't mean I have to listen to you." I stop walking up the stairs and face him, scoffing slightly.

"So what? You're just going to stand here all night? Go home. I don't need you standing guard like a dog."

"Your opinion of yourself seems to be pretty high if you think I'm standing here to guard you."

"Then what are you doing?" I ask him icily.

He doesn't answer me.

"I don't have time for this." I say before walking back up the rest of the steps to where he's standing.

"Go home Sirius. There's nothing for you here." I close the door in his face.

ooo

A few days later I receive a surprise visit from Healer Harrison's wife when I'm at work.

"Mrs Harrison…Hi…are you okay?" I ask wondering what she's doing here.

"Hello Dear, yes I'm perfectly fine. I'm here to invite you to Tiffany and Sirius's wedding. It's on the 14th of February. We hope to see you there."

Has she forgotten the whole dinner fiasco with Tiffany?

"Mrs Harrison, I don't think that would be such a good idea. I think it would be best if I stayed away from the wedding. I don't really know Tiffany very well too…"

"Now don't be silly dear Tiffany knows how rude she was when you came over for dinner. This is her way of making it up to you. Richard and I want you to be there."

I take the invitation from her hand, still unsure.

"I'll have to check my diary." I tell her.

"Of course, I hope you can make it. We'll all look forward to seeing you there." She says before walking off.

I look at the invitation in my hand and twirl it around staring at Sirius's name written in cursive writing. My heart pangs a little and I push the feeling of sadness away.

I have no reason to be feeling like this. I was the one who told him to move on. This is for his own good…That said, I don't think I'll be able to handle watching him get married.

I pocket the invitation making a note to myself to make sure I have some shifts on Valentine's Day. I write back to the Harrison's telling that unfortunately I won't be able to make it but I wish Sirius and Tiffany lots of happiness. After sending the letter off I receive a reply half an hour later saying they're sorry I would be missing it but that they understand.

I take the envelope from my pocket and with one last look at his name I let it fall into the bin.

ooo

Over the next few weeks I push myself to work harder and harder. I haven't had any contact with anyone from the magical world, and I suppose this has helped in trying to keep my mind of it all.

I take each day as they come but every evening I know that its one day closer to their wedding day.

Sirius is getting married. He's getting married. I can't get the image out of my head.

In Hogwarts if I had told him that he was going to be getting married at twenty-one he would have laughed his head off. Maybe he has changed. Still annoying, check. Still cocky, check. Still arrogant, check. Then again, maybe he hasn't.

I wonder what's going through his mind right now. Does he really love Tiffany? He stuck up for her at the hospital but I can't help but feel it was because I was the one who had been insulting her.

I shake my head a little. I'm being stupid. Of course Sirius loves her, he wouldn't be getting married to her otherwise would he?

When there's a week to go I find myself staring at the calendar at hospital, willing the days to slow down or get faster. I'm never sure which one I want. I've long stopped trying to force myself not to think about him. It doesn't work anyway; every spare second is spent obsessing about the wedding and memories from a long time ago.

When we were at Hogwarts, the first time he asked me out, the time I actually said yes, the first date, the first hug, and the first kiss.

Before, whenever I read one of Belle's trashy romance books and I found the main character reminiscing and talking about their long lost loves and how they could remember every touch and kiss I would scoff in disbelief.

How can you remember someone's touch? Smells and sounds I can understand but touch?

I get it now.

Sirius lips very ridiculously soft and his kisses. Oh god his kisses, it didn't matter how passionate they were (like the time we tried out Katie and Mark's favourite broom cupboard and I finally realised just how useful that ledge actually was) or how chaste they were (like the times when I was sad or ill and Sirius would kiss me on my forehead and bring me to rest against him), I can still remember every damn little thing.

Everyday I thank God that I have Belle and Marie to go home too and I get a small reprieve from thinking about him. Belle always seems to know how I'm feeling and Marie easily distracts me with her energy. What would I have done if I was living alone?

ooo

Three days before the wedding I come home at nine after a late shift. I'm exhausted and my legs are aching. I step into the kitchen to find my dinner hot out of the oven waiting for me. I smile as I see it. After giving Belle a quick peck I move to eat. I had been so tired I hadn't even felt the ache of hunger in my stomach.

Once I'm finished Belle clears my plate and then she joins me on the table with two spoons and a huge tub of Ben and Jerry's Belgian Dark Chocolate Ice Cream.

My favourite.

I raise my eyes when I see it. The tub usually comes out of the freezer when Belle wants to soften me up.

"What did you do?" I ask.

"What? Nothing. How come you automatically assume that I've done something wrong? Is it some sort of crime to eat ice-cream with my older sister now?"

I smile and take a spoon that is being waved in front of my face.

"It is when you want to eat chocolate ice-cream." I say, knowing her strong dislike for it.

She chooses not to answer using words. Instead she opens the lid, scoops out a huge chunk and stuffs it into her mouth. I laugh as I see her expression. It's half between smug and disgusted. I scoop out my own and spoon it into my mouth, savouring the sweet taste on my tongue before swallowing.

"Actually there was something that I wanted to talk to you about." Belle says after a few moments. I raise my eyebrows.

"I heard on the grapevine that Sirius's wedding is on Saturday." She says casually. I choke on my ice-cream, tears springing to my eyes as my throat burns.

"What? How on earth did you know that?" I manage to gasp out.

"A letter from Dumbledore."

"What? You opened my mail?" I ask shocked.

"Technically no seeing how it was addressed to the both of us."

"What did it say? How did he even know we were invited?"

"He was wondering if three beautiful ladies would do him the honour of escorting him to the wedding on Saturday…I swear he's mental." I smile. It's such a Dumbledore thing to do.

"Mind telling me why we're not going? I've never been to a wizard wedding before. I'm curious. I also want to see this Tiffany girl. She sounds like a right airhead."

"I'm working."

"You never work on the weekend."

"Well, I'm working this weekend."

"Really?"

"Yes really, would you like to call the receptionist to confirm that fact?"

"No, I believe you…Are you working next Saturday?"

"No."

"So just this Saturday then?"

"Yes Belle, just this Saturday." I say through gritted teeth starting to get annoyed.

"Any particular reason?"

"No, they were short staffed so I put my name down."

"So it wasn't to avoid anything then, say a wedding?"

"No."

"So it wasn't to avoid anyone else then, say Sirius Black?" My breath catches in my throat.

"No." I say but it comes out in a whisper. I clear my throat and say no again. Belle's eyebrows are in danger of disappearing into her hair.

"You still have feelings for him." She says softly.

"What? Don't be stupid. If I feel anything Sirius Black it's nothing but hatred."

"There's a thin line between love and hate." She says in a sing song voice.

"I do not love Sirius Black."

"Uh-huh."

"Belle!"

"What I never said anything."

"You made a uh-huh noise."

"And?"

"And, it means you don't believe me."

"Uh-huh."

"Belle. Stop it. How many times do I have to say that I don't love him."

"Prove it then."

"What? How?"

"Come to the wedding with me and Dumbledore."

"What do you mean come to the wedding with you and Dumbledore? You aren't going."

"Au contraire my dear sister. The invitation was to you and your family. Just because you're ditching Dumbledore doesn't mean I plan to. Can't leave the lovely man dateless now."

"Belle, you are not going to the wedding and that is final."

"You can't stop me. I'm eighteen soon remember…Just because you're too chicken."

"I am not too chicken."

"Yes you are."

"No I am not."

"Prove me wrong."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"YES."

"FINE."

There's silence as Belle's shocked face turns into a smug look.

"Great, I'll call Julie over on Friday night." She says leaving the kitchen.

My mind slowly registers what just happened. I'm going to Sirius's wedding. I'm actually going to his wedding. I groan before taking a huge scoop of ice-cream. The brain freeze that hits me jerks me back to reality.

I'm going to watch Sirius get married…to someone else.

ooo

_Author's Note: A really big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Maybe I should leave cliffhangers more often? I hope this chapter makes up for the length of the last one! It was originally two separate chapters but I squished them together too make one big one! And I hope you were not dissapointed at the fact they didn't kiss. Well we have two chapters left. They're both pretty short but I think I'll be uploading them separately. Next chapter will be coming on December 25th which is also when I'll be uploading the prologue of my new story so make sure too check it out if you get the time! Until then, Curiositykils_


	16. The one with the wedding

Julie as promised comes by on Friday after her and Belle finish college. I leave it to them to pick out a dress for me. Dumbledore will be picking us both up tomorrow before we all apparate to someplace in Wiltshire where the wedding will be taking place.

On Saturday morning, after I have managed to fend of Julie and Belle with the masses of make-up they are trying to paint on my face, I find myself waiting nervously for Dumbledore. For the first time I realise how weird it will be seeing him again. We haven't talked or seen each other in over a year and here we are, going to a wedding together. Going to Sirius's wedding together.

There's little time to contemplate this as there's a knock on the front door. Knowing that it's Dumbledore I make my down the stairs as Belle walks out of the living room. She opens it and there he's stood, wearing deep blue velvet robes with silver stars. He smiles widely when he sees me and Belle standing there. He gives Belle a quick bow and she giggles in response before turning to look at me.

"Professor Dumbledore." I say smiling.

"My dear…looking as beautiful as ever." He says. I smile back at him.

After telling Julie the final instructions on how to look after Marie we leave. Dumbledore holds out both his arms and Belle and I latch on.

ooo

We arrive outside a large manor house. Butterflies explode in my stomach as I look at it, my heart starting to beat wildly.

"That was the mot horrible feeling in my life." Belle says as Dumbledore steadies her.

"Shall we." Says Dumbledore once Belle has composed herself.

"We shall." She says. She latches onto his hand again and they both start making their way to the gardens where a large group of people can be seen. I follow behind them feeling so out of place. I wish Belle hadn't goaded me into coming here. I hate it.

The garden is decorated lavishly….this is not to say it looks good. Pink drapes and pink flowers meet your gaze wherever you look and overpower you. I shake my head at the sight, before following Dumbledore and Belle who have walked on ahead and are now talking to the Head of the Auror Office. Not wanting to join in on their conversation my eyes scan the crowd. I catch glimpses of some familiar faces but no-one I really want to talk to. I scan the crowd again and this time I meet the gaze of Healer Harrison. His smile broadens and he makes his way over to me.

"Dr Corisi. You made it. How lovely. It's a pleasure to have you here."

"The pleasure's all mine Healer Harrison." I say.

"Come; let me introduce you to some people." And before I can say no he puts an arm on my back and starts leading me to a group of people which thankfully include Dumbledore and Belle.

"Rufus, allow me to introduce you to Dr Corisi." He turns to me. "This is Rufus Swamp; he's the Head of the Auror Office."

I turn my head to Rufus, knowing full well who he is and vice versa. Surprisingly he sticks out his hand.

"Nice to meet you Dr Corisi." I shake it with my own.

"Nice to meet you too." I say quickly trying to hide my surprise. Rufus loathed me when we were in the Order.

"I understand that you know Dumbledore quite well already, and who is this fine lady?" he says looking at Belle.

"Healer Harrison this is my sister Belle, Belle this is Healer Harrison."

"Nice to meet you Healer, I've heard lots about you."

"I look forward to hearing more about you later on." He says shaking her hand.

"I understand that you were at Hogwarts with Sirius. You might remember his friends. I'll introduce you to them."

I shoot alarmed looks at Belle and Dumbledore. Rufus excuses himself from the conversation. I don't want to have to face James or Remus, especially after what had happened the last time I talked to them.

"Oh, no, please, I'm sure I'll see them around later on. You must have better things to be doing than chauffeuring me around."

"Well between you and me. I hate social gatherings like these. Too many fake people wearing fake smiles talking about fake things if you know what I mean. I'm glad that you decided to come. At least I now have some decent conversation. I'm sure between yourself, Albus and your charming sister I'll be able to get through the day."

We talk for a further ten minutes where I find out that Dumbledore was the one who had recommended me to Healer Harrison when he wanted to find out about muggle medicine.

ooo

An announcement is made saying the wedding will be taking place in ten minutes. My stomach knots and I see Dumbledore and Belle looking at me worryingly. I force a smile on my face but I know it doesn't fool either of them. The minutes tick down and I feel like I'm in a dream. I know I'm standing there but it feels as if I'm floating around instead of being inside a body. I begin to feel sick and light headed.

I can't do this.

"Excuse me for a moment please Healer Harrison." I say turning away from him and practically running into the large house. I have to be alone. I run up the stairs trying to find a room where I won't be interrupted but after 15 seconds of running I'm lost.

I look around wildly as faces in portraits peer down at me. Not being able to take it anymore I reach for the closest door, wrench it open and shut it behind me. I lean against the door; eyes shut tightly trying to calm my breathing down. Once I've stopped gulping in air I open my eyes to find I'm in some sort of library. There are rows and rows of dusty volumes. I walk along them looking at the massive books covered in dust.

"Excuse me are you lost?" comes a voice form behind me. I jump upwards in surprise and whip around, my breath getting caught in my throat again.

"James? Remus?"

"Yeah…….hi…..what are you doing here?" asks James.

"I'm Dumbledore's date for Sir…..Tiffany's wedding."

"You know Tiffany?"

"Not really. I know Healer Harrison."

"Oh…." There's an awkward silence.

"So…how have you guys been?" I ask trying to break it.

"To be honest with you, not that good. We've been trying to stop the wedding from happening." James blurts out.

"Sorry?" I ask confused.

"Tiffany doesn't love Sirius. She loves his money. His status as a pureblood. She isn't right for him. We have to stop him getting married." He says bitterly.

"In case you haven't noticed, their wedding's is in like ten minutes. Anyway shouldn't Sirius have figured this out before the wedding? Before he proposed?"

"He didn't propose. She bought up the idea on getting married and Sirius is just going along with it! He's not even bothered." James says.

Remus sighs. "He's blind. After…..after you, he was hurt. He went back to dating girls he felt safe with. All he sees is her fake smile, blond hair and long legs. Nothing real and last able."

"It's a bit late now isn't it? It's his choice who he marries. She isn't forcing him into it."

"We have to stop him before he ruins his life."

"I don't think there's a way to do that now."

"Yes there is." says Remus. He has a hopeful look of glee on his face.

"You." He says looking at me. I look at James confused, to see him looking at me with a glazed expression on his face.

"Excuse me?" I say glancing at the door. This conversation is growing way too weird for me.

"There's no way Sirius will marry Tiffany if he sees you."

"Yeah…..sorry to break it to you but Sirius has seen me at least twice since he got engaged to Tiffany and yet here we are…"

"What? You've seen Sirius? When? Where?"

"Yes I've seen him. I went round to dinner at Healer Harrison's house a few months ago. That was the first time I saw him. It was when they announced their engagement. I saw him again a few days later where we ended up fighting as usual and then again at a fundraiser my hospital was having. I invited Healer Harrison and his friends but Tiffany and Sirius turned up too….He didn't mention it to you?"

They both shake their heads and stare at me as if expecting me to come up with some sort of magical solution.

Sorry boys, but I've got problems of my mine. Sort yours out yourself.

I move towards the door and just as I'm about to open it, it opens for me and a voice shouts out for James and Remus but stops as soon as he sees me standing there.

Sirius.

My outstretched hand quickly falls to the ground. I look at him for 5 seconds without saying anything before I realise that I'm openly staring at him.

My God he looks amazing in a tuxedo, even with the shocked look on his face. His once familiar smell fills me and I force myself not to breathe it in greedily.

Without saying anything I manage to squeeze past him and quickly hurry down the floor as quickly as the high heeled shoes I'm wearing can carry me. I manage to find my way back into the garden just as everyone is finding their seats. Belle, Dumbledore and I are sitting near to the back, thankfully, but we're still too close to the front for my liking.

As I sit down I see all three of them looking at me and I ignore Belle's questions of where I ran off to whilst determinedly looking away from the gazes they are sending me.

ooo

The ceremony begins and my breathing once again hitches in my throat. I force myself to swallow the lump forming in my throat and blink to remove the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. As hard as I try I can't stop them and a tear escapes. I swipe at it angrily and covertly but it's quickly replaced by another. Before I completely collapse in front of everyone I manage to stand up and excuse myself. With my back turned to the ceremony I run back into the house choking on my sobs.

The shoes I'm wearing hurt my feet so as soon as I turn the corner I lean against a statue, take them off and run into the house bare foot. I don't know were I'm running too and I don't care. There's no one else in the house right now anyway. They're all outside…..watching him get married.

Finally I see a door, wrench it open and practically fall inside. It's a small box bedroom that looks exactly like the one I had when I stayed at the Order's headquarters first time round. I move to the other side of the old bed and sit down on it. My bangs fall into my face and stick to my wet cheeks. I try to stop myself crying and after five minutes of telling myself to get a grip, it works.

I'm only sniffling now.

The door to the room behind me suddenly slams open. I stiffen as it rebounds of the wall and my hands quickly come up to wipe the tears off my face and dry me eyes. I stand up, my back still to the door. Once I've pretty much dried my eyes I turn around.

"Sorry, I didn't realise that this was anyone's room."

All I catch is a glimpse of a black coat before it disappears. My eyebrows knit together but I can't force my legs to go and see who it was. I shake my head slightly to clear it, glance one last time at the garden before walking towards the door. God, even the house smells like him.

There's no point in staying. I send Dumbledore a message using my mind to tell Belle that I have a work emergency and not to worry. I put my walls up before he can reply. I put my shoes back on, glance at my reflection in the mirror before walking out of the house.

ooo

I don't go home. I don't want to face Julie's questions on why I'm back early and why Belle isn't with me. Instead I go to the only place I know where I feel in control of my life. My colleagues at the hospital are momentarily shocked that I've suddenly turned up out of the blue but they notice my dress and semi-red eyes before thrusting patient notes at me.

I work for hours straight, only taking a short break that is required by law before ploughing through another block.

It's eight in the evening before I'm forced to leave and go home.

Seven hours.

It's been seven hours since my Sirius got married to that airhead slut. God, how stupid have I been? It's too late now. I'm too late. I'm seven hours and one minute too damn late.

I lost him.

I let him go and now he's gone.

It's all my fault.

I still love him.

Oh God, what did I do?

ooo

_Author's Note: Please review! (without hate filled words please) The next and **LAST** chapter will be uploaded probably on New Years Eve (31st Dec). So until next time, Curiositykils _


	17. The one with the start of a new life

_Read and Review please!_

ooo

When I get back home, Belle is sitting in the living room watching re-runs of Friends. She looks at me and smiles without saying anything.

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. I mentally send her.

I run up the stairs to my bedroom and once inside I lock it, dropping my handbag on the floor.

I need a bath.

I grab a hair tie, tie my hair up into a messy bun before walking into my bathroom to check if there's any hot water. Realising there is I walk back into my bedroom and scream out in surprise.

Sirius is standing there, hands in his pockets leaning on the door.

"Wha…what….what are you doing here?" I ask. He doesn't answer. He just stands there staring at me.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a wife to go home to?" I say the last part bitterly. Sirius's lips twist upwards to form a small smile.

"ANSWER ME." I half scream.

He still doesn't say anything and instead moves closer to me. I step backwards unconsciously until my back hits the wall. He moves to stand right in front of me; his body now pressed tightly against my own. My heart jumps and I shallow my breathing so I'm not forced to smell his scent with each breath.

"Move." I say glancing up at him.

His face moves down closer to my own and I move my head back as far as it can go. He smiles slightly and I stare into his eyes, rebelliousness clenching my jaw. He brings his hand up and brushes away some of the bangs that are falling into my eyes. His hand lingers on my skin and my eyes close on their own accord as I try to control my breathing. The next time I open them his face is hanging dangerously close over mine.

"What are you doing? Please move." I say bringing my hands up between our bodies trying to push him away from me. He grabs hold of my wrists with one hand and lifts them over my head allowing him to press his body onto mine fully. I gasp in surprise and wriggle my hands trying to free them from his grip but it's no use. After 15 seconds of struggling I give up.

"Sirius. What? You have to move…otherwise…"

"Otherwise, you'll what?" he asks back in a voice that sounds genuinely curious.

"I…I'll…scream." He laughs softly and my stomach lurches upon hearing the sound so close too me.

"I put a silencing charm on the room. You can scream all you want but no-one will ever hear you. I also see you don't have your wand and I don't think you'll use your powers on me."

"You're married you bastard. Move now."

He tightens the hold on my wrists and I let out a whimper of pain as the bones grind against each other. He hears and moves his head closer to mine, loosening the grip on my wrists slightly.

His face is so close that his breath tickles my cheek as he breathes in and out. I turn my head away from his so I'm not looking at him. He moves his other hand to my cheek and pushes on it slightly to turn my face back to his.

"I didn't get married." He says.

"What?" My heart stops as my mind struggles to comprehend what he just said.

He lowers his face a few more millimetres.

"I didn't get married. I saw you run away and then I found you crying. You little idiot, why didn't you tell me?" he asks.

ooo

I can't think anymore. Relief is filling my body but it feels like a cruel dream.

His lips come down to press on mine gently and I gasp as they touch. My mind is still completely numb and if it wasn't for his body and the wall, my legs would have crumbled beneath me. He presses his lips harder against mine and it wakes me up. I do what I've wanted to do but have suppressed for years. I kiss him back.

I'm getting the welcome home kiss I've been waiting for since I came back from Voldemort.

My breath flutters as his kisses turn greedy. I meet his force and he releases a groaning sound with his throat as if he's bitten into something delicious. His hand lets go of my wrists and moves to cup my head, moving it closer to his face and angling it so he can kiss me more deeply.

Oh God, I love him.

My hands move to his chest and bunch his shirt tightly. There is no way I'm letting go now. His tongue draws across my bottom lip. I wonder vaguely on whether or not I should let him in or carry on teasing him. He presses harder causing me to open my mouth a fraction and he pushes inside.

My tongue meets his and I feel my body give way. His hands move to my waist and he pushes me harder into the wall holding me up. My lungs are on fire. I need to stop and breathe but I don't want to.

As if sensing this, he moves his lips off mine and starts kissing my neck, instantly reaching for the sensitive spot he discovered years ago. Now it's my turn to moan in pleasure. He sucks at the area until it's red and sensitive before blowing air to cool it down, causing shivers to go up my spine.

His hands and lips are everywhere; nipping my ear lobe before kissing it delicately, my lips, my neck. His hands drop to my waist and rub slightly; slowly lifting the dress I'm wearing. He finds the end and moves his hands underneath, letting them rest on my stomach for a few seconds before he begins moving them slowly upwards.

He stops when he reaches my rib cage before slowly pulling the dress of me.

ooo

I feel a little nervous standing in front of him again in only my underwear after so long. My hand moves down his chest and I can feel the hard muscle underneath. I quickly lift it over his head.

Now that he's not wearing a shirt I feel slightly better. He gasps as my cool hands touch his warm skin but instead of pulling away as I had expected he once again presses himself into me. I look into his eyes for a second and savour the way he's looking at me.

No more coldness, no more hatred, simply pure love. Love that I've been waiting over three years for. I'm not waiting a second longer.

I move my head and bring my lips back to his. I squeal slightly in surprise as he lifts me up off the floor and I move to wrap my legs around his waist. One of his hands moves to my back and the other moves under my thighs to hold me steady. He starts moving backwards until he hits my bed.

Still kissing me deliciously to an inch of my life, he lowers me onto it and climbs on top of me, arms either side of me so I won't get crushed. His fingers slowly caress my skin as he looks on intently. I gasp as he trails fingers up my thighs. He kisses my lips gently before he moves away. I open my closed eyes and look into his.

"I love you." He says panting gently and I for the life of me can't contain the sob that breaks out of my throat at his words.

ooo

I always thought I'd lose my virginity to Sirius Black when we were dating. For the last three years after everything changed I wouldn't let anyone close to me. Belle told me again and again that I needed to get back out there in the world and move on with my life. I always told myself that doing so would mean someone else getting close to me before hurting me. Now I know that was only partially true. Every time I was on a date with someone else it would feel like I was cheating on Sirius and I couldn't do it.

Sirius clasps my hand in his before kissing my fingers gently, slowly rising to move off me. I hold onto him tighter. My fingers entangle in the chain around his neck. With a jolt I realise that it's my necklace. The one with the key.

"No, I love you. Please I need this. I need you" I tug the necklace and bring him closer to me.

As he removes the rest of our clothes I'm glad it's quite dark in the room otherwise I would have been too embarrassed to do anything. As he settles himself on me I can feel every last gorgeous piece of him.

"Have you?" he asks awkwardly. I quickly shake my head in the negative. He drops another kiss on my lips at the answer before moving back again. "Are you sure?" I nod my head.

"It'll hurt."

I giggle slightly at the fact he's telling this to me; a doctor. "I know."

"I love you." He whispers in my ear before he pushes into me.

For a while all the sounds that fill my bedroom are the ones of our love making. Kisses, caresses, panting, moaning and loving words being whispered back and forth.

ooo

Once my body is completely drained and limp with exhaustion Sirius falls on top of me, breathing heavily into my neck. A light coat of sweat covers both our bodies but I don't want to change positions ever again. After regulating his breathing he moves off me and falls onto the side of my bed. I stay where I am. I feel blissfully happy and relaxed but as seconds slowly tick by I grow more aware of what we just did and awkwardness starts to set in.

What am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to stay? Move? Say something? The phrase wham- bam -thank you Ma'am goes through my head and I shake it to get rid of my thoughts.

Thankfully Sirius grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him, turning me on my side so he can press up against my back, his hands wrapping tightly around my waist. He kisses the back of my neck lightly.

"Love you." He whispers into my ear.

"Love you back." I reply.

Our roles are reversed. My new life has begun.

ooo

_Author's Note: **THE END**. Writing this has definately been an eye opener for me. This is the first story I wrote and I just checked the document on my USB and I actually finished it on 21/06/2006! If it wasn't for everyone who reviewed this story, in the earlier chapters especially, I would never have had the courage to post it or even write more stories so you have my upmost gratitude and thanks. To anyone else out there who's afraid to upload their work because they don't know what people will think please don't be afraid like I was. It only takes one reviewer or one repeat reader to make it all worthwhile! I have one last thing to say and that is that I probably won't be writing anymore Sirius/OC fics in the forseeable future. My time will be spent concentrating on my Draco/Hermione stories. Thank You and until next time (or not as the case may be if you hate Draco/Hermione fics), Curiositykils. _


End file.
